My Protector
by EroticWetAtomicEyes
Summary: Joslyn meets a boy she could spend her life with. But he's putting her life in seriouse danger. Can her love protect her from the dangers he poses to her? I do not own any of Kelley Armstrong's characters, settings, ect. Reviews appericiated.
1. Chapter 1

I woke with a start as my alarmed blared into my head. The sun was blinding. I rolled over to the cold side of the bed, a memory flashing through my mind. I pushed it away. After showering and eating a quick breakfast I was out the door, on my way to work.

The streets around Syracuse University were already busy. College students walked with books in their faces getting in the last minutes of study before finals. Crunch time. I could sympathize, having graduated the previous spring.

I walked to my favorite coffee shop, made small talk with the counter help and went on my way toward the playhouse. I got the job through one of my professors painting scenery for the drama students' performances. I was currently working on three different projects for finals.

"Joslyn!" I heard yelled behind me.

It was Kara, one of the students I was painting for.

"Hey, Kara." I said as she approached me. "What's up?"

"Oh just freaking out over finals. Like everyone else." She smiled. "I don't know how you double majored without killing yourself."

I smiled and sipped my coffee.

"So, how's the project going?"

"Good. I'm heading there now to finish up one of them."

"Not ours?"

"No. I'm close with yours though. You can come see it if you want." I said.

"We're meeting for a pre-rehearsal rehearsal." Kara explained. "I'll come around after though."

"I'll probably be there."

"OK. See you later then."

She walked in the opposite direction toward the Performing Arts building. I didn't run into any of the other students I was doing projects for until I actually got to the theater. Where I was bombarded by requests and inquiries before the door closed behind me. Slight changes made to my most finished project, my least finished project. Lucky for me, the theater wasn't going to be used that night so I had 24 hour use of the space. My cell phone rang multiple times; panicked students calling to make sure I wouldn't forget something. I stopped answering after the fifth call-back.

Every inch of me was aching by the time I got enough done to leave with a clear conscience. It was almost one in the morning. The air outside was cold and damp. I didn't notice it had rained. I started down the street toward my apartment. The local bars weren't quite as busy as usual so I stopped in for last call. A beer before bed would probably relax me enough to get to sleep relatively quickly.

"Hey, Jos." Frank, the middle-aged bartender, said with a smile. "What are you doing out so late?"

"Working." I said with a sigh, sitting at the bar slapping three dollars on the counter. "Whatever's on tap' please."

"Those college students got you working pretty hard, huh?"

"I can't really complain." I shrugged. "I'm getting paid, that's what matters."

"I suppose." He slid the beer in front of me. "How many projects you got going right now?"

"Three." I said. "Why? What do you need?"

"Never mind." Frank said with a wave of his hand.

"It's your niece's birthday again isn't it?" I asked remembering it myself.

"Not for another few days. But don't worry about it. I'll get a card from the pharmacy."

"Oh Frank." I sighed. "I can do it tomorrow morning. What's she into these days?"

"Still dancing." He pulled a picture out of his wallet. A little girl in a red sequined leotard smiled gaily. "Just went to the recital."

"Gosh, she's so big."

"Yeah, hard to believe it's been five years huh?"

"It sure is." I said and sipped the beer.

I looked around the bar. It was practically empty. A small group of college students nursed their glasses. Winding down like me no doubt. I finished my beer, bid Frank a good night and stepped into the light drizzle of the night


	2. Chapter 2

Needless to say I got all my projects done in time for finals. Of course I was invited to each performance and thoroughly enjoyed all of them. I also enjoyed the fat tips I got for putting up with the erratic behavior students in crunch time. In my opinion, each deserved an A.

The next afternoon I took my tips and went shopping. Armory Square was a busy place. The cafes and shops were bustling with students mostly, out enjoying the sunlight again. I took a seat at a street side sandwich shop and flipped through the menu on the table. My waitress approached me with a smile on her face.

"Hi, can I get you something to drink?"

"A water please." I said handing her the menu. "And I'll have a Turkey Club sandwich with a salad instead of fries, please."

"Sure thing." She said and walked back into the restaurant.

My face grew hot and red as I saw a familiar face in the crowded street. I'd spent three-years with Mark. It was a dark time in my life but I didn't regret it too much, it made me stronger. Still, seeing him brought me down into that submissive state I always turned to in his presence. A pang of panic struck my stomach when he caught sight of me as well. The smile grew on his face as he spoke to the group he walked with then started toward me, alone.

"Hey there, pretty girl." His smile was charming but I knew the deception of it. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"That's the point, isn't it?" I said darkly.

"Found some attitude huh?" He took the seat in front of me.

I shifted uncomfortably. Hadn't he done enough to me? The scars still littered my body.

"You here alone?" He asked.

"No." I lied. "So, if you'll please."

"What are you still doing here? Didn't you graduate last year? Or did you flunk out not having me around?"

"I work for the school theater now." I said, head down tail between my legs so to speak.

He laughed at little then picked up my chin with his finger to look into my eyes. I knew he saw the fear that I was feeling. The smile grew into an evil grin.

"Excuse me." It was a calm, sweet voice. Not deep but still masculine.

I looked up into the dark blue eyes of a tall, blond haired man. His smile was warm and mischievous. The word perfection skirted across my mind at I traced his angular jaw line to his squared chin. I began to lower my gaze but was pulled back into reality by Mark's now hoarse sounding voice.

"Who the fuck are you?" Mark asked rudely.

"Logan Danvers." He smiled. "You're in my seat."

Mark looked dumbstruck. He stuttered a bit before standing. Logan slid into the seat.

"Good bye Mark." I said, smirking at him.

Still flabbergasted Mark turned on his heal and walked away.

"I really can't thank you enough for that." I laughed.

"You looked kind of… uncomfortable since he showed up." He said. "I'm Logan."

"I'm Joslyn." I said smiling at the fact that this gorgeous man had even noticed me. "Can I buy you lunch or something? That really was incredible of you."

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to come to dinner with me." He had a shy smile painted on his face. "I was coming over here when that guy showed up and I prayed that he was your brother or something."

"Really?" I asked, completely shocked.

"Yeah." He said. His eyes were the color deep blue water, they mesmerized me. "What do you say?"

"Y—yeah. I would love to."

"Great." He seemed relieved, like somehow he expected disappointment. "Do you live around here, or…"

"Near the college. I work in the theater."

"You're an actress?"

"Never." I laughed. "No. All backstage, never in front of people."

"That must be fun."

"It's not what I want to do but it pays the bills and I'm enjoying it so far."

"What do you _want _to do?"

I thought for a few moments and laughed.

"I don't really know." I smiled shaking my head.

A crooked smile lit his face. Sweet perfection. We stared at each other for a few more moments before Logan spoke again.

"So, when are you available?" He asked.

_Right now. _I thought, and then said "Tomorrow night?"

"Is nine OK?"

"Perfect." I said. I couldn't help but smile.

The waitress arrived with my food then. I thanked her and Logan stood as she left.

"It was wonderful meeting you." Logan said as I stood as well. "I look forward to dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh, uh. Where did you want to meet up?"

"Give me your address, I'll pick you up."

I scribbled it on a napkin along with my number and handed it to him.

"What should I wear?"

He blushed a little but smiled more widely.

"Something nice. I have a place in mind already." He said. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

I waited by my window the next night. Every car that started down my street made the butterflies flutter in my stomach. At 8:59pm a black Jeep turned down my street and pulled to the curb in front of my house. I jumped from my window and into the bathroom. One last look in the mirror before meeting Logan at the door. I wore a simple black dress. I made it a point to never wear anything too revealing. The light fabric flowed over my curvy body perfectly. I wasn't the skinniest girl around but I couldn't imagine myself looking any different. In my opinion I looked healthy. I dashed from my bathroom and practically ran to the front door, waiting for the doorbell to sound.

"Eager much?" my roommate Dara said from the couch. "Wow. You look great."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"You never dress like that."

"You'll know why." I muttered as the doorbell rang out.

Logan stood in the doorway wearing a black button shirt under a dark gray vest with a red plaid tie and black pants. I was awe struck for a few moments.

"Hi." Logan said.

"Hey." I said with a dazed smile. "You look great."

"I was going to say the same about you."

"Do you want to come in for a minute?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.

I closed the door behind him and walked him into the living room where Dara sat watching TV. Her eyes went wide when she looked up at Logan.

"This is my roommate Dara." I said.

"Hi. I'm Logan." He said holding his hand out to shake hers.

"Hi." Dara smiled, seeming impressed.

"Uh…" I said smiling wider. "So where are going?"

"Oh. My cousin owns a restaurant on the east side. I thought maybe we'd pay him a visit." Logan shrugged.

"Sounds good." I said. "I'll see you later Dara."

"It was nice meeting you, Dara." Logan said.

"Yeah. Bye." Dara said still awe struck.

Logan lead the way to his mud covered Jeep. I smiled but didn't say anything about it. He opened the passenger door for me and I climbed inside. It smelled like earth. Mud, grass, fresh air. I felt a longing for the forest. It had been too long since my last trip to the reservation.

"Are you OK?" Logan asked after getting into the driver's seat.

"Yeah." I said shaking my head a little "Why?"

"You looked kind of…sad for a second."

"Oh. Um…it's your truck. The smell."

"Oh." He said getting embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize—."

"No." I said putting my hand on his briefly. "It's a good smell. It reminds me of the forest. It's something I've been missing for a while."

He looked pleasantly surprised as he started the car. It only took ten minutes to get to the restaurant. It was new, only opened a few months earlier. And it was very exclusive. Not a place I expected to eat on a first date. A valet opened my door and I climbed out before they took Logan's keys to park it.

"This is beautiful." I said looking at the elaborately decorated foyer.

"Logan Danvers." Logan said to the hostess.

"Yes. Mr. Danvers we've been expecting you." She smiled up at him.

She seated us immediately and we were soon greeted by a good-looking dark haired man looking a little younger than Logan.

"Logan. Brother." He was tall and well built and absolutely beaming at us.

"Drew. Thanks again for fitting us in." Logan stood and took his cousin's hand in a sort of half hug.

"No problem man, just moved a few things around." His gaze landed on me as I stood. "When you said she was beautiful you weren't lying."

I felt my face flush and couldn't fight back a smile.

"It's wonderful to meet you Joslyn. I'm Drew." He took my hand and kissed the back of it.

"It's lovely meeting you as well." I said my face still pink.

"You are just stunning." Drew said still grasping my hand.

As if my face couldn't get anymore red.

"Alright man, back off. You're embarrassing her." Logan said.

"My apologies." Drew said with a slight bow then pulled my chair out for me to sit again. "Anything you need Joslyn, don't hesitate to ask. I'll send our best wine out for the best looking girl here."

He patted Logan on the back and headed to the back of the restaurant.

"I'm sorry." Logan said shaking his head.

"No. He's charming." I said still smiling.

"More like a pain in the ass."

I laughed.

We spent our dinner talking about the normal "date" things. Interests, views, hobbies. I almost spit my food out when Logan told me he practiced yoga. And Logan choked on his wine when I said I had a small collection of comic books.

"How long have you been working at the theater?" Logan asked me.

"I've been getting paid for it for about a year now." I said. "I was an art major in college and had to paint a scene for a play as one of my projects. The director liked it so much he asked me to do some other work for him and when I graduated he wanted me to sign on full time. Now I paint for the local performances."

"That's really cool. I'll have to swing by one night and see your work."

"That'd be great." I nodded. "So what do you do?"

"I translate texts." He shrugged.

"That sounds exciting."

"Gives me something to do I guess." He smiled. "I work with my grandfather. It's sort of a family business."

"That's great. Are you close with your family?"

"Yeah. Very." He said. "I only just moved out a few months ago. My twin sister still lives there."

"You have a twin?"

"Katherine. She might be coming down this weekend to visit."

"That's nice."

"What about you? Where does your family live?"

"Uh. Over on the Onondaga Reservation."

"You're Native American?"

"Half." I admitted. "I never knew my father and my mom died when I was little. I left the Res as soon as I graduated high school. They didn't treat me very well after my mom died."

"Why not?"

"Half breed. You get treated differently if you're not full blooded Indian. My mother shamed her family by getting pregnant by a white man. I don't think my grandparents ever forgave her." I explained. "It's been five years since I stepped foot on the reservation."

"Wow." Logan said in a low voice.

"Are you ready for your desserts?" I waitress approached us.

Logan looked at me questioningly.

"We could share one." I shrugged with a smile.

"What do you like?"

"I'm a thick chick. What don't I like?" I laughed.

"Something chocolate please. Whatever you'd recommend." Logan told the waitress.

It was exquisite. A piece of chocolate mousse pie topped with whipped cream and I detected a hint of Bailey's Irish cream. That got me in the mood for the real thing. And Logan was all for it. As we walked toward the bar Logan stopped dead in his tracks on the sidewalk. I didn't stop until I was a few paces ahead of him. He fished his cell phone from his pocket and put it to his ear. I didn't hear it ring so assumed it must be on vibrate. I walked another few paces to give him some privacy.

"Joslyn." Logan said taking my elbow. "I'm so sorry. I have to cut this short. Something's come up."

"Is everything OK?" I asked.

"It will be." He assured me. "Let me call you a cab."

"No, Logan. I live right around the block." I said. "I'll pop in and say hello to Frank anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"I'd like to go out again. If you'll have me."

"Of course. I had a great time tonight." I smiled, hiding my disappointment.

"Great. I'll call you then?"

"Sure." I nodded.

He kissed my cheek and walked back toward where he'd parked. I waved as he drove passed me and watch his car as it disappeared around the corner.


	4. Chapter 4

If it wasn't for my disappointment for the abrupt and premature ending of the date I would be on cloud nine. It was quarter to twelve when I walked through my front door. Dara was still sitting on the couch watching television.

"You're already back?" She asked, sitting up from her laying position.

"He had an emergency call."

She gasped. "You don't think it was a bail out call do you?"

That hadn't crossed my mind.

"I don't know. I thought it was going really good." I shrugged.

"There is no way he blew you off. You look totally hot tonight. He would have at least tried to sleep with you, and then never called you again."

"Thanks." I said, a little confused as to if I should take that as a compliment.

"But holy crap! What a babe, huh?" Dara jumped up. "Where did you meet him?"

"Over at the café on Forest Ave. He deflected Mark for me."

"Mark? You saw him?"

I nodded.

"What did you do? Did you hit him?"

"No." I laughed.

"You should have. The bastard. If I ever see him I'll beat the shit out of him." She had a vengeful look in her eyes.

"Calm down, Dara." I smiled.

"Oh. You have to tell me everything! Is he totally loaded or what?"

"You now I don't care about that." I said shaking my head. "I'm kind of tired."

"You never tell me anything." She said slumping back onto the couch.

I walked up to my bedroom, flipping the light on as I entered the room. I kicked off my heels and headed straight for my bathroom to shower. In the middle of shampooing my hair there was a knock on my door.

"What's up?" I called out.

"Logan's here." Dara said in a hushed, hurried voice.

"What?" I said poking my head out of the shower curtain.

"He's downstairs." She said seriously.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." I said.

I rushed through the rest of my shower and dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. I quickly braided my hair and slipped from my room, down the stairs. Logan was still in his date attire. He smiled up at me as I descended the steps.

"Hi." I said stopping a few feet from him.

"Hey. Um. I saw your lights were still on so I figured you might still be awake." He said quickly.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked inviting him into the living room, where Dara sat watching us instead of the television. I gave her a look and she stood up.

"I'll take my House marathon upstairs." She smiled and walked up the stairs. I knew she would probably listen in at the top for a few minutes at least.

"I want to apologize about earlier."

"It's alright, really." I said walking behind the bar and grabbing two beers from the mini fridge underneath.

"It was rude of me." He said as I turned for the bottle opener. "You have a wolf tattoo?"

"Oh. Yeah." I turned back to him. "The wolf is my spirit animal…for protection."

He looked amused and surprised.

"What?" I said smiling along with him.

"It's just…cool." He nodded. "It's a really nice tattoo."

"Thanks. I drew it up myself. Not a lot of people see it, you should feel lucky." I smiled.

"Why don't a lot of people see it?"

"I'm not one to show a lot of skin in public. All those girls who leave nothing to the imagination… drives me nuts." I laughed and took a swig of my beer.

I felt much more relaxed now. No pretenses to keep up. Just two people hanging out having beers. It felt right like this.

"Would you draw up a wolf for me?" He asked.

"It's worth a shot." I shrugged. "What are you looking for? Angry and snarling? Contented?"

"Whatever you think would look best on me."

"Maybe we should wait a few months then. I need to get to know you better before I can design something around your personality."

"Deal." Logan smiled. "Do you have any of your other work around that I can have a look at?"

"You're really interested?" I asked skeptically.

"Of course." He said.

"Alright. Come upstairs." I nodded my head toward the staircase and led the way up.

Dara dashed for her room when she heard we were coming upstairs and I smiled to myself before looking back at Logan who was smiling as well.

If it wasn't for my disappointment for the abrupt and premature ending of the date I would be on cloud nine. It was quarter to twelve when I walked through my front door. Dara was still sitting on the couch watching television.

"You're already back?" She asked, sitting up from her laying position.

"He had an emergency call."

She gasped. "You don't think it was a bail out call do you?"

That hadn't crossed my mind.

"I don't know. I thought it was going really good." I shrugged.

"There is no way he blew you off. You look totally hot tonight. He would have at least tried to sleep with you, and then never called you again."

"Thanks." I said, a little confused as to if I should take that as a compliment.

"But holy crap! What a babe, huh?" Dara jumped up. "Where did you meet him?"

"Over at the café on Forest Ave. He deflected Mark for me."

"Mark? You saw him?"

I nodded.

"What did you do? Did you hit him?"

"No." I laughed.

"You should have. The bastard. If I ever see him I'll beat the shit out of him." She had a vengeful look in her eyes.

"Calm down, Dara." I smiled.

"Oh. You have to tell me everything! Is he totally loaded or what?"

"You now I don't care about that." I said shaking my head. "I'm kind of tired."

"You never tell me anything." She said slumping back onto the couch.

I walked up to my bedroom, flipping the light on as I entered the room. I kicked off my heels and headed straight for my bathroom to shower. In the middle of shampooing my hair there was a knock on my door.

"What's up?" I called out.

"Logan's here." Dara said in a hushed, hurried voice.

"What?" I said poking my head out of the shower curtain.

"He's downstairs." She said seriously.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." I said.

I rushed through the rest of my shower and dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. I quickly braided my hair and slipped from my room, down the stairs. Logan was still in his date attire. He smiled up at me as I descended the steps.

"Hi." I said stopping a few feet from him.

"Hey. Um. I saw your lights were still on so I figured you might still be awake." He said quickly.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked inviting him into the living room, where Dara sat watching us instead of the television. I gave her a look and she stood up.

"I'll take my House marathon upstairs." She smiled and walked up the stairs. I knew she would probably listen in at the top for a few minutes at least.

"I want to apologize about earlier."

"It's alright, really." I said walking behind the bar and grabbing two beers from the mini fridge underneath.

"It was rude of me." He said as I turned for the bottle opener. "You have a wolf tattoo?"

"Oh. Yeah." I turned back to him. "The wolf is my spirit animal…for protection."

He looked amused and surprised.

"What?" I said smiling along with him.

"It's just…cool." He nodded. "It's a really nice tattoo."

"Thanks. I drew it up myself. Not a lot of people see it, you should feel lucky." I smiled.

"Why don't a lot of people see it?"

"I'm not one to show a lot of skin in public. All those girls who leave nothing to the imagination… drives me nuts." I laughed and took a swig of my beer.

I felt much more relaxed now. No pretenses to keep up. Just two people hanging out having beers. It felt right like this.

"Would you draw up a wolf for me?" He asked.

"It's worth a shot." I shrugged. "What are you looking for? Angry and snarling? Contented?"

"Whatever you think would look best on me."

"Maybe we should wait a few months then. I need to get to know you better before I can design something around your personality."

"Deal." Logan smiled. "Do you have any of your other work around that I can have a look at?"

"You're really interested?" I asked skeptically.

"Of course." He said.

"Alright. Come upstairs." I nodded my head toward the staircase and led the way up.

Dara dashed for her room when she heard we were coming upstairs and I smiled to myself before looking back at Logan who was smiling as well.

We walked into my bedroom, I flipped the light switch on as I passed by it. Logan followed me in leaving the door open. I back tracked and closed it behind him, I knew he was only making sure I felt safe.

"You have a nice room." He said looking around him.

"Thanks." I laughed. "Um. I painted all the pictures in the room Except that one." I pointed to the painting of a black bear nuzzling her cub. "My mom painted that."

"Wow." Logan said examining the first of the five paintings. It was a mountain scene with tall trees complete with a babbling brook. The second was more abstract and darker, a monochromatic eyeball iris bleeding white, gray and black. The third and fourth he spent more time on; a wolf drinking from a stream in a dark forest and last was another standing proudly on an outcropping rock. "You painted all these?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"They look so natural." He gestures toward the two wolf paintings. "Like you stood in the forest and painted them."

"Well, I studied animal anatomy in my freshman year. And I spent two weeks upstate with a photography crew who track a wolf pack."

He looked amused.

"Like I said, I have a connection with the wolf. He is my brother." I laughed

Logan smiled and looked back at the paintings. I wondered what he was thinking about. How he thought of me. Was I coming off a little kooky? Not that it mattered. This was me and if he didn't like it he could get lost.

"Why don't you go back?" Logan asked. "To see your family."

I sighed and sat on my bed.

"It's complicated." I said with a furrow in my brow.

"You seem like you miss them."

"I miss the reservation. I don't like the city, everything's wrong; the sounds, the smells. I'm not comfortable here. I should be in the forest; in nature." My mind drifted into my memory and I missed it even more. I looked at Logan's expression and shook myself. "Sorry."

"No. I understand. I totally understand."

I knew he would; somehow.


	5. Chapter 5

**(NOTE: **I know this is kind of slow going, that's how I write. It will get better. I hope. Please leave some reviews let me know if you want more…)

I woke up the late in morning. The sun had already passed by my window. I dragged myself out of bed and trudged into the kitchen where I found Dara waiting with a cup of coffee.

"I'm not letting you get away this time." She said holding the cup in form of me.

I took it, sat at the table and proceeded to tell Dara that nothing happened.

"Bull, you were in the bedroom for over an hour." she exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean I slept with him."

"Ugh! How could you not?"

"Please, Dara. There's more to it with Logan. He's not just a hot body and a pretty face. He is so much more than that."

"What like he's smart or something?" she mumbled.

"It's not even that." I said shaking my head. "There's something else there like…we have this…connection. I feel so… whole when I'm with him. But I can't figure out what it is that makes me feel that way."

"Are you having an epiphany?" Dara asked.

I laughed.

Yes. I was. What made Logan feel so right to me? There was something but it wasn't an obvious something. Not his looks, or his intelligence or his humor just something else, but I didn't know what it could be.

I thought about it all day while I worked on the opening summer play scenery. It was frustrating but never left the forefront of my mind. I'd barely gotten any work done at all by the end of the day.

When Logan didn't call me over the next few days, I thought that maybe I was crazy. That there was no connection and I was a complete idiot for thinking there might be. Again, very frustrating. I decided I need to wind down before the weekend and went to the theater for the comedy club they presented every Friday.

"Did you design this set?" a soothing voice said in my ear.

When I turned I saw Logan's smiling face in the near-dark.

"Yeah, a few years ago." I said quietly, smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area." He shrugged. "I guess I got lucky that you were here tonight."

A rattle of laughter exploded around us. Guess I missed the joke.

"Do you want to take a walk?" He asked.

I nodded and Logan pulled my chair out as I stood. I thought guys like that were long gone.

Outside, the noise from the bars could be heard echoing off the buildings. Most of the college kids had already left for the summer but the few that were left were still celebrating the end of the semester. Logan took my hand in his as we walked down the street. Weird. So much for thinking I was the only one feeling the connection between us.

"I know it's kind of…soon," Logan stared at his feet, "but do you think you'd want to come camping with me next weekend?"

This took me by surprise. I was expecting a comment about the weather.

"Camping." I said flipping the idea around in my head.

"I thought you might want to get out of the city."

"…Yeah." I nodded, smiling. "You really want to?"

"Why would I ask if I didn't want to?" He smiled that crooked smile that made me melt.

"OK." I said then stopped. "Isn't your sister coming to visit you?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh. Right."

"Do you want to have a coffee?" He asked as we approached a late night coffee shop.

"That'd be great."

Our coffees were cold by the time we were finished with them. We sat in the shop until it closed at eleven. The theater was still open when we passed it again.

"Do you want to go in?" I asked. "I can bring you backstage."

"Alright." Logan said following me inside.

He followed me around the perimeter of the room and we slipped through the backstage door. It was darker back here of course but I'd walked through here so many times it was easy for me to navigate in the dark. Logan didn't seem to be having any problems either.

"I've never been backstage anywhere before." He said looking up at the rafters and high curtains.

"It's cool. You should come around one night while they're putting on a real play. It gets crazy back here between scenes."

"You must have to work pretty hard. Designing the sets and stuff."

"Yeah, it's not what I went to college for though. I have a knack for it apparently. The director wanted me and I needed a job so I took it." We approached a closed door. "This is the dressing room." I said pointing to it. "That's where they keep all the props." I pointed to another door as we passed it.

"Where do they keep your work?" Logan asked.

"Uh…over there." I said pointing to a large vertical hole in the wall. "It's all on canvas so when they want to use it they hang it from up top there and unroll it and fasten it to the floor so it doesn't move too much."

"I guess that means I can't see them."

"You could if you came to see the performances." I shrugged. "But I won't subject you to that."

"That'd be a nice torture for our anniversaries." He laughed.

Wow. Did he think that far ahead? This chance meeting was turning out to be quite revealing on his part. We were both quiet for a few moments. Logan looked around us and I busied myself with adjusting the necklace I wore. A loud offensive noise sounded followed by a roar of laughter. Logan and I laughed, though I hadn't heard the joke. Logan looked down at me and the corner of his lips twitched up. I couldn't help but smile as well. He was so perfect. I can't describe how I was feeling without using the words warm and fuzzy. That's how I felt; warm, comfortable, safe. Completely at ease. He made the first move, leaning down toward my face. I met him halfway. Our lips slowly touched, lightly at first. It felt electric. He slid his hand to the small of my back and pulled my body toward his and I draped my arms over his shoulders. All the while our kiss became deeper until we were practically drowning. The silence surrounding us was broken by another offensive noise and more laughter. Logan pulled away, dropping his hands from around me and stepping back forcing mine to fall as well. He looked around uncertainty painted on his face.

"Joslyn..." Logan was looking back into my eyes. I saw the slightest hint of uncertainty. We'd gone too far.

"I'm sorry." I stepped further away from him. "I uh…"

"No. Don't. Don't be sorry."

"I shouldn't have…" We both said simultaneously then laughed nervously.

"I should go." He said.

_Please don't, _I thought.

"I'll call you soon." With that he was gone again.

I stood in shock for a few minutes. My world was suddenly rocked with an unexpected kiss. It was in that moment that I really felt it. I was in love with Logan. Though, in my mind I tried to find ways around it. I barely knew him. It didn't make sense that I was in love with him. That only confirmed it. I love Logan Danvers.


	6. Chapter 6

I was practically giddy when Logan called me the next day to meet him for lunch. He wanted to talk about our upcoming weekend mini-vacation.

A mist was falling outside after the downpours that came through the night before. The sound of the rain on the leaves calmed my nerves. We were meeting at the café where we'd first met. It seemed so long ago that Logan scared off Mark. Had it really only been two weeks? Still, I smiled at the memory. That's when I saw Logan, smiling at me from the restaurant's entrance. He was so mesmerizing to look at even from a distance. His smile shone like the sun and his eyes sparkled like the stars. They did to me at least. Then my mind was ripped back into reality when I heard the screeching of car tires on pavement by then I didn't have time to react. A 5 thousand pound SUV was barreling uncontrollably at me, slipping the wet roads. The smell of burning rubber filled my nostrils. I was frozen where I stood; shock and surprise painted on my face, when something else hit me. I was hurled full force out of the path of the out of control truck into the glass topped tables of the coffee shop I'd just passed and onto the cold concrete of the sidewalk. I vaguely recall the earthy smell that mixed with the coffee and burned rubber scents before the metallic smell of blood overwhelmed all else. I started slipping from consciousness when my head ricocheted off the sidewalk and broken glass. Logan's murky image was the last thing I saw before going under.

The next thing I remember was the bumping of being pulled from the ambulance and rolled into the emergency room. The doctors and nurses speaking in a string of words I couldn't comprehend. I slipped back out of consciousness hearing something about morphine and blood.

When I woke again everything seemed a fog. I knew I was in a hospital but I couldn't remember why. As my head clears little by little the events leading up to my foggy awakening came back to me. The screeching tires, the tackle to the ground, the earthy scent overtaken by blood, Logan. I pushed the nurse call button.

"You're awake." a blonde female in white scrubs littered with yellow ducks walking to my bedside, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Um." I hadn't yet assessed my bodily injuries. "I don't know."

"Do you feel any pain?"

I started to feel myself. My ribs ached with every breath and most of my muscles we sore.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Osborne." a man walked into the room wearing a long white lab coat and holding a clipboard. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Vaguely." I said.

"Well according to the police report an SUV lost control and was headed straight for you and out of nowhere a man launched himself at you pushing you from the truck's course. I'm guessing on your path to a longer life you both shattered the glass tables that belonged to a small coffee shop. Accounting for the shallow cuts you sustained on your head, back and arms. And you probably notice your ribs…"

"Yeah."

"Just a couple of cracks. Probably caused by the 200 pound man running at you with his full force and then landing on top of you, but considering the alternative…"

"Where is Logan?" I asked.

"Your husband? I think he went to get a bite to eat." The nurse said "He's been here nearly the whole time you have. Only left to make some phone calls."

"Overall you're very lucky." He said. "I'm going to sign the forms for your immediate release. The nurse will show you how to care for your wounds and wrap yourself for your ribs to heal."

"Thank you." I said as he left the room, then turned to the nurse, "How long ago did…my husband leave?"

"About fifteen minutes ago. Said he'd be back within a half hour though. Do you want me to wait for him to get back to give the instruction?"

"No. Let's do it now."

"It'll be easier if you have someone to help you care for them. You've got a lot on your back."

"I'll be alright." I said with a small smile. I wanted this done before Logan came back.

It was basic care as for any wound. Keep it clean and covered. Though wrapping my midsection seemed like it would turn out to be a hassle for me to do myself I told the nurse I would instruct my "husband" at home.


	7. Chapter 7

I was sitting in the waiting area when Logan returned. He almost walked right past me but stopped at a second glance.

"Joslyn. Are you OK? It figures you'd wake up when I left." He said sliding into the seat next to me.

"Well, hello husband." I said with a smirk.

"Oh." He looked slightly embarrassed. "I had to tell them I was your husband, they wouldn't let me see you if I didn't."

"I thought it was funny." I shrugged.

"How are you feeling? What did they say?" His attitude changed to that of concern.

"I'm fine. They just told me how to take care of everything. I should be back in action in a couple of weeks." I said, we stood and followed the exit signs.

"I'm so glad you're alright." He said gravely. "I saw that truck coming…I freaked. I almost didn't make it over to you."

"Thanks." I said sincerely "for saving me."

"I'm glad I could." He said taking my hand in his. "How are you feeling? Do you think you could go for some ice cream or something?"

"Is that your way of making me feel better? Feeding me ice cream?" I smiled, nudging his arm.

"If that's what will always make you feel better then I'm quite looking forward to marrying you." He laughed and kissed my cheek.

After taking me to a small ice cream stand, Logan walked me into my house. Dara shot into the entry way asking questions. I explained what happened and she pulled me into a tight, painful hug. Logan pried her off of me reminding her that my ribs were cracked and guided me to my bedroom, Dara apologizing after us.

"What did the doctor say about work?" Logan asked me when we were in my bedroom.

"Nothing. I'm not going until I can comfortably lift my hands over my head. Otherwise I'm useless anyway." I said and tried to bend to untie my shoes. "Could you help me with my shoes?"

"Of course." He said kneeling in front of me. "Do you want me to stay with you? To help with things that'll be too much for you?"

"I couldn't ask that Logan." I shook my head.

"I want to. You don't want to do more damage to yourself. Don't you want me to wait on you, hand and foot?"

"You're very convincing." I smiled "But I don't have anywhere for you to stay."

"Come to my place." He said immediately. I raised my eyebrow at him. "I have a guestroom. Please. I want to help you."

How could I say no to that beautiful face? An hour later we were back in Logan's truck, heading toward his apartment on the north side of Syracuse. It was impressive. The building itself was a little scary looking. When Logan opened the door we walked right into the living room. It was just as big as my house, maybe bigger. The floor was completely open except a glass wall that led to a balcony. The stairs leading to the upper level were free standing. The kitchen was all marble and stainless steel.

"Wow." I said audibly.

"You like it?" Logan asked.

"It's beautiful." I said. "You might have some trouble getting rid of me."

"That's OK." He said with a crooked smile. "C'mon, I'll show you your room."

I followed him up the free standing stairs. It was a little scary not having something to hang on to but I made it. Upstairs was more enclosed. The hallway at the top of the stairs was long and narrow. Logan opened the door to the fist door on the right. The room was twice the size of my own. A king sized bed took up only a portion of the space, at the foot of it was a sofa matching the dark green wall color. Upon which a flatscreen TV hung along with several paintings. Wolves. Weird. My jaw must have been on the floor.

"You seemed impressed."

"You have no idea." I said still in awe. "Those paintings." I walked over to the nearest. It was a blond colored wolf, with blue eyes. "Wow, it's perfect."

"My grandfather painted them."

Then something clicked in my head.

"Jeremy Danvers." I said instantly.

"You know him." I couldn't tell if there was a hint of regret or if it was surprise.

"I wanted to do a study on him in my sophomore year but we had to write a paper with it. He's shrouded in mystery. No one even knows where he lives. He's one of my favorite artists." I said turning to him. "You're his grandson. It never even occurred to me…"

"He keeps to himself."

"But you said that you translate texts with him."

"I do. Painting is more of a hobby for him that turned into something else." Logan explained. "He doesn't do it to make money, he does it because he likes to."

I sighed audibly.

"Your grandfather is an amazing artist… and he doesn't even sit in a studio all the time trying to make something amazing. He just does it." I was still staring at the blond wolf. It looked familiar somehow.

"Maybe you'll meet him some day." Logan interrupted my gazing.

"Are you serious?" I asked turning to him.

"My parents live with him. Upstate."

"Holy crap. Talk about the best boyfriend ever!"

Logan gave me a funny look. "Boyfriend?" I wasn't sure if he thought that a good thing.

"Oh. Um." I didn't really know where we were at relationship wise. I was staying at his house and he'd pretended to be my husband for a time. Where did that leave us in reality? "I thought we'd take a step back from husband and wife for a while."

He laughed to my relief. And that made me wonder if the dating stage was over and if we were a couple.

Logan showed me the rest of his apartment. The wolf theme touched every room even in the smallest way. I wasn't sure if it was weird or not but I probably would have done the same thing with my own place.

He made me dinner. No one's ever made me dinner. And it was delicious. I couldn't think of one thing wrong with Logan, he was in all ways perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

I jerked awake the next morning. A loud banging sounded through the apartment. The clock read 7am. I climbed out of the comfort and warmth of the bed and pulled on my pants from the day before. Pain surged through my midsection at every movement. The banging sounded again. I hurried down the free standing stairs and to the front door, pulling it open. A beautiful blond young woman stood in almost as much shock as I. It only took a few seconds for her to recover.

"Who are you?" she demanded. "Where's Logan?"

"Uh. I donno." I said looking back into the apartment, sleep still clouded my mind.

"Well, who are you? What are you doing in his apartment?"

"I'm Joslyn. I…stayed here last night."

"He blew me off for some chick?" She seemed outraged. "Asshole."

"Oh. You're his sister…" I finally realized. "You were visiting this weekend."

"Yeah. He cancelled on me last minute. Isn't he here?"

"I thought so…" I said and stepped from the doorway. "You should come in."

"Thanks." She said still holding some animosity in her voice.

She walked in and I closed the door behind her. She made herself comfortable on the couch.

"I'm sorry about you're weekend. I had this accident and your brother offered to help me out."

"So you're not his girlfriend?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

"Uh. I don't--."

The door opened then. Logan looked around to the couch where his sister was sitting.

"What are you doing here?" He asked closing the door behind him.

"I came to see why you cancelled on me." She said standing, venom in her voice. "You didn't say in your message."

"I told you not to come."

"Excuse me for my concern. I thought something was up by the way you kept blowing me off, apparently _something_ _was_ _up_."

"Katherine." Logan scolded. "There's a reason why I don't live at home anymore. Privacy. What I do with my time is my business."

"Does mom know about your little sex kitten?" She spat.

"Excuse me--." I began to defend myself.

"You know you're not supposed to be dating--."

"That's enough." Logan growled at his sister. "You need to leave."

"I think you should ask your _friend_ to leave."

"I don't care what _you_ think, Katherine. It's time for you to go."

She stood, staring daggers at me. I kept my face averted, not looking at hers. When the door slammed behind her I looked up and Logan who still had his hand on the door.

"I'm sorry." I said walking toward him, touching his shoulder.

"No. It's not your fault." He let his hand drop and looked at me. "She gets very jealous when I'm with women. It's kind of a twin thing. We used to do everything together but we've grown up… at least I have. She doesn't seem to understand that I have a life outside of home."

"Where did you go?" I asked after a few moments, finally taking in his appearance.

This was the first look I got of his muscular body. His arms were well built and glistened with sweat. I nearly gasped when he removed his sweat stained tank. I had to avert my eyes to keep from staring.

"I run most mornings." He said walking to the fridge, taking out a bottle of water and chugging it down. "You're up earlier than I expected"

"I'm an early bird." I shrugged and sat at the breakfast bar.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Logan asked leaning out of the open fridge door.

"What do you have?" I asked standing and walking to his side. He had a fully stocked refrigerator "Let me cook for you."

"I wouldn't be a very good host if I had you cooking."

"No, I want to. You wouldn't want to start dating exclusively if you didn't like the way I cook, would you?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead. I stepped into the cold air coming from the fridge and began pulling breakfast items onto the counter. I was determined to make the best breakfast of my life for him.

Forty minutes later he leaned back from his plate with a comfortable grin on his face.

"I think I might have to keep you around." He rubbed his bare stomach.

"You really liked it?" I asked, unable to finish my own plate.

"You make a mean omelet." He took both our plates and put them in the sink. "I may have to keep you here to cook breakfast every morning."

Logan's cell phone rang from the counter top. He picked it up, looked at the caller ID and let out a sigh.

"Hello." His voice was morose. He let whoever it was talk. I busied myself with the dishes. "I know that…No…I shouldn't have to work my life around her. Something came up and I had to cancel that should be enough… Yes, what business is that yours?..." He let out a deep sigh. "I know that…Yeah. I'll talk to you soon…Love you too. Bye."

He tossed his phone back onto the counter and rubbed his face with both hands.

"Let me take care of those." He said starting toward me.

"No. Please. I insist on doing something while I'm here." I continued to scrub the dirty pan. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah. It was my mom. Katie called in her hissy fit. I should be 'more considerate of her feelings.' Apparently my moving out had ill effects on my sister."

"Well, you said you were close growing up. If she left wouldn't you miss her too?"

"Yeah. I guess. It was just hard living there. As much as I love it, I couldn't be there anymore." He grabbed a dish towel and began drying the clean, wet dishes.

"I know exactly what you mean." I nodded looking into the dirty dishwater. I rinsed the last dish and wiped my hands on my shirt. "You should shower. I'll finish up here."

"You sure?" Logan said quietly.

"Yeah go ahead."

Like any guy, Logan took no time in the shower and was finished before I was. In the few minutes that I had alone, I replayed the scene with his sister in my head and was left wondering. When Logan came down the stairs, still shirtless, I lost all tactfulness and blurted out my question.

"What did Katherine mean that you're not supposed to be dating?"

"You caught that, huh?" Logan sighed, opening the fridge and grabbing his water again. "My parents expect me to date women from a certain… class. They're kind of old fashioned I guess. But, I wasn't looking to meet anyone out here. I certainly wasn't expecting _you._"

I couldn't help smiling. So, I crashed into his life like he crashed into mine. I threw the dishcloth into the sink and turned toward him. He put his water bottle down and approached me.

"I know it's only been…a week." He held my shoulders, rubbing his thumbs over my skin. His eyes made me melt. "I want to be with you."

I would have fallen over if he wasn't holding me there. He bent down and brushed his lips against mine. I felt it through my whole body. He lifted me effortlessly onto the counter top, pressed his forehead into mine and looked into my eyes.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me quietly, I felt his hot breath sweep against my skin.

I was completely flabbergasted. I did the only thing I could think to do. I pressed my lips onto his, entwined my fingers in his hair. A fire burned in me like I hadn't ever felt before. Logan pulled me into him, carrying me to his couch, never missing a beat. He held himself above me, still fervently kissing me. When our lips parted I looked into his burning, blue eyes. It was intoxicating. I pulled him back into me, feeling the weight of his body on mine. His kiss was gentle on my jaw, moving down my neck slowly; every touch of his soft lips sending a rush of heat through me. When his lips met my collar bone I felt the air rushing into his nose as he inhaled deeply. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Logan." I breathed; taking his face into my hands and bringing it level with mine again.

I savored the moment; eyes locked, hearts racing. The, now offensive, noise of Logan's cell phone echoed in my ears. I let out a small laugh, but Logan didn't move. He stared at me intently, ignoring it. I smiled and began sitting up, Logan mimicking the movement until I was on top of him. He pulled me down to him and kissed me deeply again. The heat between us intensified so much that neither of us notice how much time had passed or that the door had shot open.

"OH MY GOD!" Katherine stood in the doorway, jaw hanging open. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Logan said, annoyed.

I sat back on the couch, off of Logan and folded my arms around myself. How embarrassing.

"What?" Logan asked her, standing up.

"You didn't answer your phone." She said innocently.

Logan let out an exasperated sigh.

"I was going to apologize." Katherine explained.

"There's no need. Just leave." Logan said motioning to the door.

"No. Stay, Katherine." I said, then turned to Logan. "You shouldn't have changed your plans because of me. I have some stuff to do anyway. If I could just use your shower really fast…"

"Joslyn…" Logan looked confused, and slightly hurt. "You don't have to go."

"No worries." I smiled and headed up the stairs.

If that situation was heading where I thought it was heading than part of me was happy that Katherine walked in on us. As much as I wanted to be with Logan I knew it was too soon to even consider it.

All it took was a cold shower and I was back in my right mind. It took some time and painful movements but I brushed my long hair, leaving it down to dry and dressed my midsection again before putting on my clothes and heading back into the bedroom. Logan and sitting on the couch at the end of the bed, waiting for me.

"Why are you leaving?" He asked standing up as I entered the room.

"You should spend the day with your sister." I said looking at him.

"I want to spend the day with you. I've spent my whole life with my sister."

I laughed, putting my things into my bag. "You made plans with her first."

"I don't want you to hurt yourself. I should stay with you."

"Stop making up excuses." I smiled and swung my duffle bag over my shoulder, wincing as the movement. Logan noticed it and made to take the bag. "I'm fine."

"Keep this here." He took the bag anyway. "So I know you'll come back."

"You think you'll get rid of me that easily." I said and tipped my toes giving him one sweet kiss.

He took me in his arms and held that kiss, turning it passionate. My heart fluttered but Logan pulled away from me, leaving me wanting more.

*****************************************************************************

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to post. Please leave me some feedback (thanks, to those who did.) Let me know how I'm doing. I think this is going a little farther than the T rating… changing it to M. **


	9. Chapter 9

We didn't cancel our camping trip, only postponed it another week. It was late in the morning when he pulled up to my house I was waiting on the steps, bag in toe. He hopped out of his truck and came around to meet me.

"Is that all you're bringing?" Logan seemed incredulous.

"You're the one who told me to just bring my clothes." I defended myself.

"Knowing you just gets better and better. Most girls pack their whole wardrobe."

"We'll be gone for three days. I need a pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, some shirts and underwear."

"I keep forgetting you're not like anyone I've ever met." He smiled then opened up the back of his truck. "I got something for you."

I felt that surge of excitement. "What?"

He pulled a brand new hiking pack from his truck.

"Oh, Logan. You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to." He shrugged. "You're not a jewelry-and-chocolates kind of girl. It makes it a little harder to find good gifts for you."

"You don't need to buy me gifts…" I stood up to my fullest height and kissed him. "You're all I need."

It was a two hour drive on the highway then another twenty minutes on a rocky dirt road. Logan stopped the car as we approached a wall of trees where the road ended.

"We have to hike from here." Logan said cutting the engine.

"How far?" I asked.

"Three miles."

"Well let's get started then." I opened my door and stepped out onto the dirt.

"We can stop if you need to. It's kind of a rough climb for someone who's never done it before." Logan met me at the back of the truck. "I packed us a lunch if we need it on the way."

I noticed that Logan's pack was sizably larger than mine and much more packed when he opened the trunk.

"I have more room in my pack, unload some of yours and put it in mine." I suggested.

"You're still recovering from broken ribs. You don't need to add weight to your pack, it could do more damage."

"I'll be fine." I was a little annoyed with him.

"Let me see it."

Logan had been monitoring the bruising. I lifted my shirt to just under my breast; still black and blue. He touched the darkened skin gingerly. I fought to keep from wincing.

"Does it hurt?" He noticed my struggle.

"I'll be fine." I pushed my shirt back down, not hiding the annoyance in my voice.

My pack felt unnaturally light when we started up the trail. I followed behind Logan. He told me he'd stumbled upon a clearing when he was hiking one day. When he left the well beaten path I voiced my concern but he assured me that he knew where he was going. I trusted him. The trek through the thick brush was refreshing. The air was so light and the breeze refreshing. But I think he underestimated my climbing abilities. We made it to our destination in under two hours.

"Wow." I said quietly.

We were standing in a meadow surrounded by trees. The sunlight seemed to make the wildflowers sparkle. A gust of wind danced across the grass sending waves through it. I stared out into the open land for several minutes before Logan brought me back.

"Why don't you go look around some more while I set up the tent?"

"Can't I help?"

"I've set it up a million times. It'll be easier to do it myself."

"Where's that river you were talking about?" I dropped my pack and leaned it against a tree.

"Just on the other side of those trees." He pointed to the opposite end of the field about a hundred yards away. "I'll catch up with you in a little while."

I walked through the soft grass and swaying flowers with my palms out to my sides. I smiled remembering how I referred to the grass as the earth's hair when I was a young child walking through the fields on the reservation with my grandfather. This was almost as beautiful. I could hear the running water as I walked into the trees. The ground was soft and littered with pinecones. I stumbled over a few roots but was soon on the bank of a wide and rocky river. The scene was breath taking. Only a hundred feet up stream the water poured over a short waterfall. In the distance another mountain peeked over the treetops. I sat at the water's edge to take it all in. I couldn't believe the outstanding beauty of this place. Even the sounds were lovely to my ears; the babbling of the water, the wind through the leaves, the creaking of the swaying tree trunks. This was where I needed to be.

"How do you like it?" I didn't hear is approach and should have been startled by the abrupt arrival of his voice but it too was so beautiful, it belonged here.

"I can't even describe it." My voice was just above a whisper.

"I used to come here a lot when I lived with my family." He sat down next to me. "I haven't had to since I moved out. I've never brought anyone else out here before."

"Oh." I said and smiled. "That makes me feel special."

"You are special."

I blushed.

"Your face glows when you blush." He touched my cheek softly with his fingers. "You're so beautiful."

I turned a deeper red.

"I don't embarrass easily." I rolled my eyes.

"So I've noticed." He said then switched gears. "Everything's all set up back there. Do you want to go for a hike or save it for tomorrow?"

I smiled, amused. "Where do you get your energy? I'm exhausted."

"Do you want to go lay down?" he pitched his thumb over his shoulder.

"No." I said looking at the pool the waterfall fell into, and then looked back at Logan "We should go for a swim."

"Really?"

"Sure." I shrugged. "It'll wake me up."

"You brought your suit?"

I looked sideways with a mischievous smile, then stood and headed toward the waterfall. When I looked back at him his mouth was half open and eyes wide with surprise. He scrambled to his feet to catch up with me.

The water was cold; colder than I had anticipated. My bra and boy shorts provided little protection against the icy mountain water. Logan didn't seem to be bothered by it.

I climbed out of the natural pool holding onto my panties so they wouldn't slid down my legs. Not that it really bothered me. Nudity wasn't a big deal to me, having volunteered to pose nude for many college art classes. Logan seemed perfectly comfortable in his boxer briefs as well. He followed me out of the water and I couldn't help but stare in awe. The sun glinted off his perfect, wet, pale skin. Droplets of water beaded over his muscular arms and chest. His flawless washboard abs flexed as he climbed the rocks and walked toward me. Below that point I could tell he wasn't lacking, though I tried not to stare.

"Is it cold for you?" He swiped his hand through his hair, sweeping the water away.

"No." I nodded. A light breeze passed, making me shiver and giving me goose bumps.

"Liar." He said wrapping his arms around me, pulling my body against his. "This wasn't such a good idea--. Well, I can't say that, it was a great idea; but the mountain water is too cold for swimming. You're going to get hypothermic soon if you don't warm up."

I was warm in his arms. I fit perfectly against his body. The earthy scent coming off his bare skin was alluring. I lifted my head up to where my lips met his jaw and kissed him softly. His mouth moved to mine in an instant, locking our lips together. His arms tightened around me and he crushed me against him. Passion surged through me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, curling my fingers into his wet hair. Logan suddenly broke our kiss, ripping his lips from mine. He looked into the woods across the river, nostrils flaring.

"I heard something." He didn't look at me; his eyes fixed on the dark trees.

"I didn't hear anything." I said quietly, looking in the same direction.

We stood together for a few more moments before Logan released me.

"We should go back." He looked down at me; I didn't realize that my disappointment was on my face. "I'm sorry. Uh. I think we should probably have more clothes on if we're going to kiss like that."

I nodded and started walking back toward the pile of clothes we'd left.

"Not that I don't want to." He stopped me. His eyes were full of apology. "I do. I just don't want to go too fast. I've done fast and it doesn't work. Just please don't think I don't want you."

A lesson I'd learned myself, with dire consequences. I tipped my toes and kissed him lightly.

"Thank you." I smiled and picked up my clothes before heading into the woods, leaving a confused Logan in my wake.

After drying off and redressing in fresh clothes Logan took me to see a few more of the magnificent sights near to us. When the sun began to set and twilight approached, Logan lit a fire. We both settled next to the flames. Darkness fell as we sat in silence a few feet from each other. I watched the dancing flames for a long time before looking up at Logan. He was watching me. I smiled, making him smile. He moved closer to me but only to reach into the pack I was leaning against.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, still rummaging.

I shook my head, sitting forward from the pack. He pulled out two energy bars, unwrapped both and practically swallowed them whole.

"Are _you_ hungry?" my eyes were wide.

"I have a fast metabolism. It runs in my family. I have to eat all the time."

"Oh. Remind me to keep my fridge stocked then." I settled back on the pack and continued watching the flames.

*****Please R/R! It fuels the fire!**


	10. Chapter 10

The following morning Logan made me breakfast over the fire and after we cleaned up we set off for a day long hike. We followed the river for about a mile before finding a dryer place to cross. Then Logan took me up the rest of the mountain. I could tell we were at the top because the ground leveled off but that was all that gave it away for me. The peak was still covered in thick trees, the sky barely visible through the branches.

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked as he sipped from his water bottle.

"Good." I said and gulped from my own. "I'm just glad there's no more up."

Logan laughed and held his hand out to yank me from the rotting log I was sitting on.

"There's something you should see." He smiled. "It'll make all the work worthwhile."

I let him pull me up and followed him through the trees. As the trunks and branches grew thinner I started to see what he was talking about. The trees ended a few short feet before a sheer drop of rock. Before us was the rolling hills and forests of New York.

"It's unreal right?" Logan said. "Like you're on top of the world."

"It's beautiful." But that didn't encompass it.

"Worth it right?"

"Totally." I said.

"C'mon and sit." He motioned to the moss covered rock on which he sat. "We can stay for sunset if you want."

"As amazing as that sounds…I don't want to walk through the woods at night." I couldn't hide that uncomfortable notion to my voice.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Walking into a tree…" I laughed. "Getting mauled by a wolf… I _do_ tend to attract them. Whether or not they're hungry is entirely up to fate."

"I promise you won't get mauled by a wolf. Preventing you from walking into trees, that's a little harder." Logan laughed.

"Is it worth it?" I asked after a few moments.

"Absolutely."

I smiled at him and snuggled up against his shoulder.

It was worth it. The pink sky turned to purple then a dark blue. I took a new picture every thirty seconds, it seemed. I didn't grasp just how dark it would be after the sun set. I couldn't see more than a few inches in front of myself. Even with my dim headlamp the darkness was still impenetrable. Getting down the mountain look almost as much time as getting up. Walking along the river was a little easier though I had my share of trips and falls. We arrived at our tent in far worse condition that we left in, well I did. Logan didn't have a scratch on him by the light of the fire. My arms were cut up, my knees and elbows bleeding, the palms of my hands red and scraped. Logan took the first aid kit from his pack and cleaned my wounds before I dressed them.

"You're a mess." Logan smiled as he dabbed my knee with a cotton ball full of peroxide.

"At least I didn't walk into any trees."

"It's too bad we're packing up tomorrow. I've had a lot of fun this weekend."

"We always have fun." I smiled.

Suddenly Logan tensed. He looked around at the trees surrounding us; the same expression on his face as the previous day by the pool.

"What's wrong?"

"I heard something." He stood and searched the trees with his eyes. "Stay near the fire. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"What? Are you crazy? You don't go after a noise in the dark woods."

"I'll be fine. Just don't step away from the fire."

He left before I could contest again. In the minutes that followed I heard nothing but the wind in the trees and the crack of the fire. I looked into the surrounding trees only seeing blackness. A low growl made my heartbeat skip. I looked around wildly, not knowing where it had come from.

Logan didn't come back for a half an hour. My nerves were on edge the entire time. He stepped out of the woods almost silently. I jumped when I saw him.

"Shit." I sighed, my hand on my chest. "I'm never coming camping with you again."

"Why?"

"Because you're crazy. You don't know what's out there. It could have been a bear or something."

"It wasn't." He smiled.

"What was it? Did you see it?" I wanted to know.

"Just a wolf."

"I told you!" I said with my arms flying in the air. "I knew we'd see one… well, one of us. I attract them. I bet if we stayed another night we'd find a whole pack circling us."

"Somehow I doubt that." He laughed. "You look tired. How are you feeling?"

"Alright." I shrugged. "I'll feel worse tomorrow."

"You should go get some sleep. I'll keep the fire going in case we have any more visitors."

"Are you sure?"

"I just ate two energy bars. I'll be up at least another four hours."

"I won't last that long." I said standing up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah. Goodnight." He seemed distracted all of a sudden.

"Goodnight."

I didn't realize how tired I actually was until my head hit the pillow and I passed out.

The sun was beating through the nylon when I woke in the morning. It was like sleeping in a sauna, my head was dripping with sweat. I opened the zipper door and took a relieving breath of cooler, fresher air. The fire was burning low but Logan was nowhere in sight. I called out for him but got no response. After fishing through my bag I found a couple of granola bars and snacked on those while poking at the fire. I waited another twenty minutes before deciding to start packing up to leave. I only got the tent emptied before I was sweaty again. A thought came to me and I was off before I could second guess myself. I walked through the woods on the opposite side of the meadow, to the deep pool below the waterfall at the river. I removed all my clothing again, except my under clothes and took a running leap into the water. It was refreshing this time, rather than shockingly cold. As soon as I came up for air there was another splash a few feet from me. I didn't have time to get over my shock before Logan came up in front of me.

"Oh my God! You scared to hell out of me."

"Sorry." He said, his smile mischievous "I saw you and decided to join in."

"You were watching me huh?" I said accusingly.

"It's not really something I can tear my eyes from." He pulled me close to him.

I laughed, and shook my finger at him. I could feel the color filling my cheeks.

"Why are you embarrassed?" He asked, amused.

"I don't--." I shook my head quickly, looking into the water. "People don't say stuff like that to me."

He merely smiled before kissing me. Deeply. He pulled me up against him, scooped my legs and suddenly lifted me out of the water throwing me into the air to come splashing down a few feet farther from him. I can up laughing.

"That could have gone two ways… I'm glad you're not halfway to the tent right now."

"Did you really expect me to cross my arms and stomp back?"

"Not in the slightest. But you are full of surprises."

A few moments passed where we didn't speak, just listened to the sounds around us. I waded back to the rocks and lifted myself onto one. Logan pulled himself up next to me, we dangled our feet in the water.

"Do we really have to leave today?" Logan took my hand and twined his fingers in mine.

"I have a doctor's appointment in the morning." I frowned.

"Right." Logan nodded, looking at his feet. "The x-rays right?"

I nodded.

"I want one more night out here with you." He said softly.

"Just one?" I said playfully. "And don't you have a job to get back to?"

He laughed. "I'm not ready to go back to reality."

I couldn't disagree with that.


	11. Chapter 11

I didn't see Logan for the next few days. He had to go up to his family's house. I was surprised when I started missing him. He called me every night but only for a few minutes, which I savored.

"Don't get creeped out OK?" I said one night over the phone.

"OK." Logan laughed a little.

"…I miss you."

"I miss you too." I could hear him smiling. "I'm coming back tomorrow night. Do you want to go out?"

"We could stay in…I'll get a movie, make you dinner."

"I won't refuse that." He said. I heard someone say his name in the background. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"OK. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams." He said and ended our call.

I went to sleep smiling.

The weeks passed. We spent all of our free time together. It was like I was with my best friend all the time with those added bonuses of a serious boyfriend. I couldn't think of a better time in my life. Logan made me happy and that was all that mattered.

Logan called me on a Friday night asking if I wanted to meet him for dinner at a new bar on the west side. I told him I'd shower first, having just gotten off work, and meet him there. I was quick but thorough and headed for the door.

"Where are you going all dressed up?" Dara asked as I passed her in the kitchen.

"That new bar on the west side. Strata or something…"

"Oh. Yeah. It's supposed to be really cool inside, I might go next weekend."

"I'll tag along if it's nice."

"Are you going with Logan again?" she had an impish look on her face. "You've been with him for like a month now right?"

"I guess. I donno." I shrugged.

"Have you slept with him?" she had no shame.

"Dara!"

"Well don't keep it to yourself. With a guy like that you gotta dish. It's like a dream when I look at him."

I simply shook my head and went on my way.

It was muggy. I drove with my windows down. The streets were quiet, strange for a Friday night. The bar as about fifteen minutes away. Logan was waiting at the entrance for me. We went inside, had a few drinks, watched the local baseball team lose their game. Neither of us were big dancers so we skipped that part of the evening. Logan suggested we go back to my place, since it was closer than his and order something to eat. I agreed and we went our separate ways. Logan had parked in the opposite direction as me. I walked the block and a half alone. When I got to the parking lot where I'd parked I saw someone leaning on my car. I hesitated briefly but continued on warily. Upon closer inspection I recognized the man as Mark, my ex.

"Hey, babe."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not getting too close but he stood right in front of the driver's side door.

"I saw you at the bar." I couldn't detect any malevolence. "Are you OK to drive home?"

"I'm fine." I nodded.

"Do you think you could give me a lift?" the innocence in his voice seemed genuine.

I thought about it for a moment. As much as I hated Mark, I couldn't just leave. Now that I really looked at him, he seemed sickly. His posture was slumped slightly and one hand rested on my car, like he was holding himself steady.

"Where are you going?" I finally asked.

"My place." He said and pushed himself off the car. He walked around to the passenger side and fell into the seat.

I got in the driver's seat and started the car. Mark made polite conversation as he sat slumped in the seat.

"How have you been?" He asked with his hand over his eyes.

"Good." I said, my eyes on the road. "How about you?"

"My life sucks."

"Oh." I said quietly.

"I tried picking up this girl earlier." I didn't know why he felt the need to tell me this. "She told me to go fuck myself."

I didn't say anything.

"Why would she do that?"

"Maybe because you're a jerk…" I said without even thinking.

"Yeah." Mark laughed humorlessly. "I'm a jerk."

Most of the rest of the ride was silent. Mark kept his eyes closed and I kept my eyes on the road. When I pulled up in front the Mark's apartment building I put the car in park and waited for him to leave.

"There you go." I said when he didn't open the door.

"You ruined my life Josie."

"Please get out of my car, Mark." I said firmly.

"I lost my job, my friends." Mark continued. "My mother didn't talk to me for six months."

"That's not my fault." I defended myself. "You need to leave."

He lunged at me from his seat, slamming my head into the window. I felt cold steel digging into my gut.

"What are you doing?" I choked out finally, looking into his rage-filled eyes.

"Shut up." He hissed, hard liquor saturated his breath.

He dragged me out the passenger door with him. He held my arms and dug his gun into my back and lead me into his apartment building. I looked for a place to hide. There was no one around and I wasn't fast enough to make a run for it. I didn't know how desperate Mark actually was to hurt me. Whether or not he had to guts to actually kill me, I didn't want to find out. The only thing I could think of was to do what he says a possibly make it unharmed. Maybe he was having a breakdown, or was depressed a million excuses for him ran through my head; just like always.

"Mark please stop this." I said quietly as he unlocked his door and shoved me inside.

When I was out of his grasp I ran for the back door. I knew he always kept it locked but hoped he was drunk enough that he would stumble and fall on his way after me. I got to the door, elated that he didn't have me. My heart sank when I pulled on the knob and noticed it was a deadbolt lock. I couldn't open it without a key. Mark stood in the kitchen door, blocking the only other exit. The smile on his face was filled with wicked satisfaction.

"You're such a stupid bitch."

"Mark, what are you doing?" I asked before panic closed my throat. "This isn't going to change anything."

"I don't care anymore. What's the point?" Maybe I could keep him talking, get him distracted enough by his own self pity that I could slip past him. "You took everything from me."

My cell phone rang through the room and my heart jumped to my throat. I already knew who it was.

"Answer it." Mark came right up to me with his gun drawn. "Tell them you're busy or some shit."

I fought to clear my head as I got my cell from my purse and put it up to my ear.

"Hello?" I said, trying to control my quivering voice.

"Hey. Where are you?" Logan said. "I just got to your place. I thought that you'd be here before me."

I hesitated then heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking.

"I—I can't come." I said trying to hold back my hysteria.

"What?" He was confused.

"I can't come." I repeated.

"What's going on?" His voice turned serious and full of concern. "Where are you?"

"You have to go." Mark whispered into my other ear.

I panted heavily into the phone. My panic was bubbling over.

"Where are you?" Logan demanded. "Joslyn."

"Say goodbye."

"Goodbye." My voice cracked and tears rolled from my eyes.

Mark threw the phone and it shattered against the wall. He wound up and hit me. I ricocheted off the wall and crumpled to the floor. I began to roll onto my stomach but Mark caught me in the gut with his foot. I curled inward, gasping for breath, moaning in pain. He grabbed a chunk of my hair and pulled me to the center of the room where he smashed my head into the ground sending me into a daze and climbed on top of me.

"Don't fight me or I'll fucking kill you." He said through clenched teeth, gun digging into my chest.

"Mark please, stop." I pleaded. "Don't do this."

I tried to inch backward with my feet. He stood, picked me up by my hair and held me in front of him.

"I want to hurt you so badly." He was shaking with his anger.

I couldn't contain my sobs anymore. My head clouded with fear and I tried to get away from him. He just pulled me back and hit me more. After fruitlessly fighting against him I just took it, like I always had before. I was defeated once again.

When he stopped, I uncurled from my protective posture and looked up at him. Anger still painted his face but he wasn't looking at me. He looked toward the locked back door to his left with his gun held out toward it. I looked up at the window. There was nothing there. Mark still held his gun ready. Seconds later the door flew into the kitchen completely off its hinges hitting Mark and knocking him to the ground. I uncovered myself and looked up to see Logan kneeling down in front of me, his hands grasping my arms.

"Logan…" I breathed.

He stroked my face with a pained look on his face. Movement behind him diverted my attention and I saw Mark stand up, gun pointed straight at Logan.

"Logan!" I screamed.

The shot rang out as Logan pulled me out of the way. I heard him groan and he tumbled onto his back; blood pouring from his shoulder.

I struggled to get myself over to him, panicking. "Logan?"

Mark saw what he did and ran for the door, dropping the gun in his haste. I kneeled over Logan, a complete wreck at the blood spilling out of him.

"Oh God." I went into Logan's pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I began dialing 911 but Logan pulled the phone from my shaking hands.

"You have to call my sister." Logan said laying with his eyes closer. I could tell he was in pain from his controlled voice.

"You need an ambulance." I yelled at him.

"You can't call an ambulance. Just call my sister, she'll know what to do."

I didn't know if he was lucid enough to make that decision but I did as he said and called Katherine.

"What do you want, jerk?" Katherine answered her phone n the first ring.

"Is this Katherine?" I asked, fear soaked my voice.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Logan got shot."

"What?!"

"He told me to call you."

"You didn't call an ambulance did you?"

"No." Why were these people against ambulances?

"I'm coming. Where is he?"

I gave her directions to where we were. I heard her car door shut and engine start as she directed me on how to get the bleeding to stop.

"How are you doing?" I asked him, still putting pressure on his shoulder.

"It just grazed me."He was sitting up now, looking down at his shoulder. "It hurts like hell but I'll be fine. How are you?"

"Don't worry about _me._"

"If I didn't worry about _you_ then I wouldn't be here and… I don't even want to think about what could have happened."

"I'll be fine. I've had worse."

Logan looked at me for a few long moments.

"You never told me you were in an abusive relationship."

I sighed. "It's not something I like to remind myself of."

"How long were you with him?"

"…Three years."

His eyes went wide. "_Three years_?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Logan."

He dropped it but I had the feeling that this wasn't the end of the conversation.


	12. Chapter 12

When Katherine came running into the house, she practically pushed me out of the way. She didn't let me help her bring Logan to the car and barely let me say goodbye.

Dara knew when she looked at me as I walked through the door what had happened. She hugged me and I broke down crying. I told her everything I could remember and she took me to the police station. I relayed the story and they took pictures of me then put out a warrant for Mark's arrest. I didn't mention Logan and told them I'd gotten away while Mark was in the bathroom.

I walked into my bedroom at nearly four in the morning. I showered, clothed myself and walked to work. I knew if I stopped I would lose it completely, so I had to keep going.

I didn't hear from Logan for two days. Every time I called I was sent straight to voicemail. It drove me crazy. But I had to keep going; I couldn't let my mind rest. I was scrubbing down my work station for the third time when my cell rang. I dropped everything when I saw Logan's name on the Id screen.

"Logan." I felt the relief flooding from my mouth. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Hi."

I laughed a little. "I've been worried…"

"I thought you might be. It's really not bad at all. Like I said, it just grazed me." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Listen, I'm not coming home for a couple of weeks."

"Oh. Why?"

"My grandfather is going to be travelling and I need to go with him."

"Where are you going?" hiding my sadness was proving to be difficult.

"Florida. He has some business to take care of out there."

"OK."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? Don't be."

"I feel like I should be with you; after what happened…" He sighed. "I don't want you to feel alone."

I almost lost control of my emotions hearing Logan say that. I couldn't speak.

"Are you OK?"

"Logan…I'm sorry about what happened."

"It wasn't your fault." Logan insisted.

"But you shouldn't have been dragged into this."

"I'm glad I was. I don't want to think about what would have happened if I wasn't." There was a long pause. "You're very important to me, Joslyn."

"Wow." I said after a moment "I was afraid you might dump me."

He laughed. "Definitely not."

"So, when do you think you'll be coming back?"

"A couple weeks at most, we'll probably be back sooner." He stopped and lowered his voice. "If I can get away tonight, I'll come by to say goodbye. It'll be late though."

"You sound like you're going to be sneaking out your window or something." I whispered mockingly.

When he didn't say anything I laugh loudly. "You are, aren't you?"

"They don't want me leaving with stupid gunshot wound."

"Oh no, you know what that means… they actually _care_ about you!" I was making fun of him but it was all in good humor.

"Hey do you want to see me or not?"

"Your parents probably already hate me for almost getting you killed. Couldn't imagine how they'd feel if they caught you sneaking out to see me." Then I laughed. "I feel like I'm 15 talking like this. Why don't you just tell them you're going out? Or for that matter, just leave?"

"I have a lot of respect for my parents and disobeying them even at my age is disrespectful in my eyes."

"But going behind their backs isn't?"

"What they don't know won't hurt them." I could hear his smile.

"So I'll see you tonight?"

"It's a possibility but I can't make any promises."

"I like my odds." I smiled.

We talked for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. The prospect of not seeing Logan for weeks was heart wrenching; at least now I was at ease knowing he was alright and in good spirits.

I waited until after midnight for Logan to knock on my door. While waiting I showered and changed into a long, holey t-shirt. I sulked in my bedroom for another twenty minutes before turning on my reading light and opening my book. I started nodding off almost instantly. I'd call Logan in the morning and tease him for not having the guts. I was only just beginning to fall asleep when I felt my bed sink at the end. And I was barely rising when I was pushed back onto my pillow by a fierce kiss. This was trouble.

"Logan." I whispered when his lips released mine. "I thought you weren't coming."

He kissed me again. "I needed to see you. I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"So this is just goodbye?" My head was clearing of its sleepiness.

He smiled in the dim light, tracing his finger up my bare leg. "Maybe that's not _all_ I had in mind."

"Oh yeah?" my own smile was flirtatious.

He kissed me again and slid his hand under my shirt, brushing his fingers over my naval. My stomach gave a little jolt of nervous excitement. When the fabric of my shirt began to rise off of me I stopped him.

"What's wrong?" Logan whispered quietly. His hot breath was like velvet on my skin. I looked into his eyes as my cheeks burned red.

"I--." I didn't know how to say it. "I have a lot of scars."

Anger flashed through his eyes briefly and he closed them, taking a deep breath. My thoughts flickered to the memory of Mark but I pushed it away, focusing on Logan's beautiful face. He seemed to be focusing on me as well.

"I'm sorry. I just--. I thought I should warn you."

"You're beautiful no matter what."

I practically melted. He kissed my lightly and then with more urgency. We barely parted when he tugged his shirt off, and then mine. His hands moved silkily over the curves of my body. He broke from my lips. My heart was racing, a nervous ache fluttering in the pit of my stomach as Logan softly kissed my body. But the fire burning in me dominated my reservations. He held himself above me and looked into my eyes. I felt him throughout my entire body. The heat between us intensified with every kiss, every sensual touch. I could barely speak when Logan collapsed beside me, his breathing matching mine.

"Logan." I panted. "That was incredible."

I turned my head to look at him looking at me. He smiled and kissed my forehead lightly. He didn't need to say anything. I could see a reflection of my feelings in his eyes; though neither of us voiced them, fearing it was too soon to admit such feeling. I glanced at the clock; 2am. How had the time passed so quickly? Logan rolled out of my bed and pulled on his pants. I made to sweep my t-shirt from the floor but Logan beat me to it. I stood in front of him, wrapped in my bed sheet.

"Can you just stay like that until I leave?" He smiled. "You look… so hot. I would love for this to be my last image of you while I'm on this trip."

I blushed and took my place back on the bed. He slid next to me after putting on his shirt and kissed me.

"God, I'm going to miss you." He rested his head on my shoulder. "I want to bring you somewhere when I come back."

"Where's that?"

"Let's make it a surprise." I felt his face flex into a smile.

"Oh, just to torture me?"

"I got to give you something to look forward to."

"Yeah because you being back just isn't enough for me." I teased.

He lifted himself off of the bed. I barely heard the vibration of his phone. He smiled at the ID screen and looked up at me.

"We've been caught."

"Hey, I'm not the one who's caught here. I had nothing to do with it." I put my hands up innocently.

"I have to go." He sighed.

I rose up from the bed and approached him. He took my free hand, the other was holding the sheet in place.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He said sweetly.

"I know."

"And I'll call you when my plane lands."

"OK." I nodded, trying to smile, trying to fight back my tears.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I croaked.

"Joslyn." I could read it in his eyes, I could hear it in his voice. He didn't have to say those three words for me to know.

He kissed me deeply, heatedly, with everything he was. I could still feel the warmth of his lips on mine when my eyes opened and I found myself alone.

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. This chapter took a lot of rewriting and revising. I hope you all like it. R/R! P.S. I think I have to change to M rating…**


	13. Chapter 13

He called every day; sometimes twice. One week and five days later he showed up on my doorstep unannounced. That was the first time I'd ever squealed with excitement. It was embarrassing. I spent that first night at Logan's apartment; of course. We explored each other a little further; of course. And at nearly three in the morning I fell asleep to the sound of his voice though I don't recall what he was saying.

I woke with a weight over my midsection. I felt Logan's steady deep breathing brush across my face. When I tried to tug away without waking him his hold tightened. I turned my body to face him. He smiled but didn't open his eyes.

"We don't have to get up yet." He whispered.

I nuzzled into his chest for a few more minutes. This was pure bliss; lying in the arms of my lover. When Logan's stomach growled loudly I sputtered a laugh and kissed his chin.

"I'll go make breakfast." I prompted quietly.

He released me, rolling onto his back.

"That's what I thought." I smiled and rolled out of the bed. "What do you want? Eggs? Pancakes? Waffles? Do you have a waffle iron?"

"Whatever you make will be perfect." He sat up and turned his legs off the bed.

"Stay here." I pulled on one of his t-shirts. "I know where everything is."

"I think I'll go for a quick run before breakfast." He said, standing in his perfect nakedness. Was he really that comfortable already?

"Oh." I looked away from him. "OK. I'll shower first then start on the waffles."

"Maybe we should hold off. We're meeting my sister in a couple of hours."

"Your sister? For what?"

"Lunch. I told you last night we're meeting her."

"You didn't tell me that." I was slightly panicked.

"You must have fallen asleep already."

"We're having lunch with your sister?"

"Surprise.

"Oh my." I sat on the bed.

"Is that OK?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked in all seriousness.

"Of course you do. She's not expecting you to be there so if you don't want to you don't have to. I just thought this would be a good opportunity for you to get to know her a little better and for her to get to know you." He smiled. "I want her to know you like I do."

"Well maybe not exactly like you do." I laughed.

He smiled and walked to his chest of drawers. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. He kissed me goodbye and went for his run. I got in the shower and stood under the hot water worrying. What was I going to do? And what gave Logan the idea to set up a surprise lunch date with his sister was a good thing? I could imagine what she'd do when she saw me. The image of her springing across a room full of people sitting, eating their lunch and wrapping her hands around my neck to strangle me.

Two hours later I was sitting in Logan's truck, looking down at my folded hands on my lap. Logan reached over and held one of my hands. I looked up at him. He was watching the road but looked at me briefly and smiled.

"It'll be fine. Stop worrying."

I sighed.

When he pulled into the parking lot of an Italian-looking restaurant I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Logan laughed at me.

"Hey, I have every right to be nervous. She might just want to kill me when she sees me."

"And why would she want to kill you?"

"Revenge for almost getting _you_ killed? Did that thought occur to you?"

"My family understands what happened and they don't blame you for it. They know I wouldn't leave you in danger even if they forbid me to go to you." Logan opened his door and came around to open mine. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."

I hoped he would stay true to his word if it was his sister putting me in danger.

Inside, we were seated immediately. Logan held my hand under the table but didn't say anything while we waited for his sister. I looked up at the door every time it opened; ready for the angry eyes for Katherine to bore into me.

"Why don't I go up to the bar and order a couple of drinks?"

"It's one o'clock in the afternoon."

"Uh. I think you need to relax a little bit." He nodded and stood to walk to the bar.

He was right. "Get me whatever."

He came back with a bottle of wine. I sucked one glass down; and then another. By the time Katherine did show up I wasn't concerned with her reaction anymore.

"Joslyn." Logan breathed my name as Katherine approached us, looking stunned.

I stood with him, practically bouncing.

"Hi, Katie." Logan smiled at her.

"Hi." She still hadn't recovered.

"Hi." I smiled wide. "It's nice to see you again…y'know without your brother on top of me or bleeding to death."

She laughed. "Yeah. Umm… I hope you guys weren't waiting long. Mom was badgering me about where I was going."

"Did you tell her?" Logan asked.

"Of course. She was practically standing in the doorway bracing herself against the frame."

I laughed idiotically. Katherine gave her brother an incredulous look.

"Joslyn had a couple glasses of wine before you showed. She was very nervous about meeting you again."

"Really." Katherine turned to me. "Why's that?"

"Are you kidding me?" We all sat down. "Do you have any idea how scary you actually are? I mean, I had visions that you were going to fly over this table and choke me to death. Look at all that's happened with Logan and me _and_ you. He cancelled his plans to have you over for the weekend so that he could hang with me, then you walked in on us on the couch messing around, then I had to call you because my ex-boyfriend shot him! Seriously, that doesn't go over well with a lot of people. So, you can see why I was nervous. I'd want to hit me too if I were you."

"Does that mean I have permission?"

"Katie." Logan said with a stern voice, he mouthed something but my mind was too inebriated to make it out.

"OK." Katherine said, seemingly defeated. "All's forgiven."

"Great." I smiled.

As time wore on and we ate, I came out of my buzz. Katherine insisted I stop called her by her full name and just call her Katie. I supposed that was a good sign. It turned out that we had a lot in common. Much like Logan and I, we listened to the same music and liked the same movies. We also both studied English in college and by the end of lunch we were bantering about our favorite books.

"Joslyn, we should probably get going." Logan said motioning for the check.

"Well you're just a fun-sucker aren't you?" Katie said.

"I made plans for Joslyn and me tonight."

"What did you have planned? Maybe Katie could come along."

"Uh…"

"Nothing I want to know about I'm sure." Her eyes went wide. "We'll have to get together for lunch again, Jos. Without with loser."

"Sure. Call me anytime."

"Or just call my brother, right?"

"Well the semester will be starting soon. I won't be able to hang out as much."

"Yeah, Logan's got to get some work to do with my grandfather too that he.s been putting off." She looked at him meaningfully.

We all walked out of the restaurant together and to our cars; Katie had parked her red Beemer next to Logan's truck.

"See you guys. Thanks for lunch." She got into her car and drove off.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Logan smiled.

"Not after you let me get drunk. You should have stopped me having that second glass." I laughed "She must think I'm an idiot."

"You were fine after you ate. I think she really liked you."

"Huh. We'll see if she actually calls."

She did and we went out to lunch again a week later.


	14. Chapter 14

****Sorry its taking so long to get stuff up. My net is down and I have to use a friend's computer to get online. I'll update as soon as I can. In the meantime R/R!**

He called every day; sometimes twice. One week and five days later he showed up on my doorstep unannounced. That was the first time I'd ever squealed with excitement. It was embarrassing. I spent that first night at Logan's apartment; of course. We explored each other a little further; of course. And at nearly three in the morning I fell asleep to the sound of his voice though I don't recall what he was saying.

I woke with a weight over my midsection. I felt Logan's steady deep breathing brush across my face. When I tried to tug away without waking him his hold tightened. I turned my body to face him. He smiled but didn't open his eyes.

"We don't have to get up yet." He whispered.

I nuzzled into his chest for a few more minutes. This was pure bliss; lying in the arms of my lover. When Logan's stomach growled loudly I sputtered a laugh and kissed his chin.

"I'll go make breakfast." I prompted quietly.

He released me, rolling onto his back.

"That's what I thought." I smiled and rolled out of the bed. "What do you want? Eggs? Pancakes? Waffles? Do you have a waffle iron?"

"Whatever you make will be perfect." He sat up and turned his legs off the bed.

"Stay here." I pulled on one of his t-shirts. "I know where everything is."

"I think I'll go for a quick run before breakfast." He said, standing in his perfect nakedness. Was he really that comfortable already?

"Oh." I looked away from him. "OK. I'll shower first then start on the waffles."

"Maybe we should hold off. We're meeting my sister in a couple of hours."

"Your sister? For what?"

"Lunch. I told you last night we're meeting her."

"You didn't tell me that." I was slightly panicked.

"You must have fallen asleep already."

"We're having lunch with your sister?"

"Surprise.

"Oh my." I sat on the bed.

"Is that OK?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked in all seriousness.

"Of course you do. She's not expecting you to be there so if you don't want to you don't have to. I just thought this would be a good opportunity for you to get to know her a little better and for her to get to know you." He smiled. "I want her to know you like I do."

"Well maybe not exactly like you do." I laughed.

He smiled and walked to his chest of drawers. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. He kissed me goodbye and went for his run. I got in the shower and stood under the hot water worrying. What was I going to do? And what gave Logan the idea to set up a surprise lunch date with his sister was a good thing? I could imagine what she'd do when she saw me. The image of her springing across a room full of people sitting, eating their lunch and wrapping her hands around my neck to strangle me.

Two hours later I was sitting in Logan's truck, looking down at my folded hands on my lap. Logan reached over and held one of my hands. I looked up at him. He was watching the road but looked at me briefly and smiled.

"It'll be fine. Stop worrying."

I sighed.

When he pulled into the parking lot of an Italian-looking restaurant I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Logan laughed at me.

"Hey, I have every right to be nervous. She might just want to kill me when she sees me."

"And why would she want to kill you?"

"Revenge for almost getting _you_ killed? Did that thought occur to you?"

"My family understands what happened and they don't blame you for it. They know I wouldn't leave you in danger even if they forbid me to go to you." Logan opened his door and came around to open mine. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."

I hoped he would stay true to his word if it was his sister putting me in danger.

Inside, we were seated immediately. Logan held my hand under the table but didn't say anything while we waited for his sister. I looked up at the door every time it opened; ready for the angry eyes for Katherine to bore into me.

"Why don't I go up to the bar and order a couple of drinks?"

"It's one o'clock in the afternoon."

"Uh. I think you need to relax a little bit." He nodded and stood to walk to the bar.

He was right. "Get me whatever."

He came back with a bottle of wine. I sucked one glass down; and then another. By the time Katherine did show up I wasn't concerned with her reaction anymore.

"Joslyn." Logan breathed my name as Katherine approached us, looking stunned.

I stood with him, practically bouncing.

"Hi, Katie." Logan smiled at her.

"Hi." She still hadn't recovered.

"Hi." I smiled wide. "It's nice to see you again…y'know without your brother on top of me or bleeding to death."

She laughed. "Yeah. Umm… I hope you guys weren't waiting long. Mom was badgering me about where I was going."

"Did you tell her?" Logan asked.

"Of course. She was practically standing in the doorway bracing herself against the frame."

I laughed idiotically. Katherine gave her brother an incredulous look.

"Joslyn had a couple glasses of wine before you showed. She was very nervous about meeting you again."

"Really." Katherine turned to me. "Why's that?"

"Are you kidding me?" We all sat down. "Do you have any idea how scary you actually are? I mean, I had visions that you were going to fly over this table and choke me to death. Look at all that's happened with Logan and me _and_ you. He cancelled his plans to have you over for the weekend so that he could hang with me, then you walked in on us on the couch messing around, then I had to call you because my ex-boyfriend shot him! Seriously, that doesn't go over well with a lot of people. So, you can see why I was nervous. I'd want to hit me too if I were you."

"Does that mean I have permission?"

"Katie." Logan said with a stern voice, he mouthed something but my mind was too inebriated to make it out.

"OK." Katherine said, seemingly defeated. "All's forgiven."

"Great." I smiled.

As time wore on and we ate, I came out of my buzz. Katherine insisted I stop called her by her full name and just call her Katie. I supposed that was a good sign. It turned out that we had a lot in common. Much like Logan and I, we listened to the same music and liked the same movies. We also both studied English in college and by the end of lunch we were bantering about our favorite books.

"Joslyn, we should probably get going." Logan said motioning for the check.

"Well you're just a fun-sucker aren't you?" Katie said.

"I made plans for Joslyn and me tonight."

"What did you have planned? Maybe Katie could come along."

"Uh…"

"Nothing I want to know about I'm sure." Her eyes went wide. "We'll have to get together for lunch again, Jos. Without with loser."

"Sure. Call me anytime."

"Or just call my brother, right?"

"Well the semester will be starting soon. I won't be able to hang out as much."

"Yeah, Logan's got to get some work to do with my grandfather too that he.s been putting off." She looked at him meaningfully.

We all walked out of the restaurant together and to our cars; Katie had parked her red Beemer next to Logan's truck.

"See you guys. Thanks for lunch." She got into her car and drove off.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Logan smiled.

"Not after you let me get drunk. You should have stopped me having that second glass." I laughed "She must think I'm an idiot."

"You were fine after you ate. I think she really liked you."

"Huh. We'll see if she actually calls."

She did and we went out to lunch again a week later.

Three Months Later

I sat in the passenger seat of Logan's Jeep. The changing trees were rushing past my window in streaks of red, yellow and orange in the high speeds. My stomach was all in knots and I felt like I might vomit at every bump in the road. I was going to meet Logan's parents.

"You're looking a little green. Do you want me to pull over?" Logan asked.

I told him I got carsick on the highway so I wouldn't look so pathetic.

"No. I'm alright." I murmured.

The silence continued. My nerves were shot and I was already feeling exhausted. I hoped I wouldn't pass out during dinner. Katie would get a kick out of that. We turned out to be pretty good friends. She was the one who suggested this dinner happen.

"It's only a few more miles." Logan said quietly, over the hum of the engine. He took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Are you nervous?"

_Incredibly. _I thought. "I'm OK."

"I'm a little nervous." He smiled.

That didn't make me feel better at all.

I looked back out the window as the rushing of the trees slowed and we exited the highway.

Logan cut the engine of his truck after driving down a long dirt driveway. The house was hidden from the road in the trees. I pulled the visor down and fixed my hair in the mirror.

"You're beautiful." Logan said rubbing his thumb over my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright." I said rubbing my thighs.

"You look worried." He said running his fingers through my hair, he knew that calmed me.

I nodded. He cupped my cheek, rubbing my temple with his thumb.

"Don't be."

I kissed his palm before he pulled away and exited the car. I climbed out my own door, meeting him at the front end. I straightened out the lines in my pale yellow sundress. He took my hand and we started toward the house. Logan rang the door bell. We waited a few moments. It swung open and inside stood Katie, beeming.

"You're here! And you look great." she squealed. "Mom! Daddy!"

My stomach gave another lurch as Katie pulled me into the dark house. The front hall was simply decorated. A small bench to the left, next to it stood a coat rack and umbrella stand; underneath a line of muddy shoes and boots. Above it hung a painting of a garden, looking to be painted at the flower's first bloom. I recognized the style immediately. It was a work of Jeremy Danvers'. Its beauty did little to calm my nerves now.

"Joslyn." Logan held my elbow and guided me further into the house. I wished for a glass of wine now.

We passed by a staircase on our way toward a bouncing Katie, who stood before an open, double doorway. I took a deep breath as we approached her and turned into a large study. Two couches stood perpendicular to a large dark wood desk behind which were shelves from ceiling to floor, wall-to-wall filled with books. But more impressive than the extensive collection of books was the people who sat upon the couches and single high backed chair. They all stood as Logan and I entered the room. I knew immediately who Logan's parents were. Both were strikingly beautiful. Logan was the spitting image of his father, though Logan held the softness of his mother's face. She approached me first.

"Joslyn." Logan sang. "This is my mother, Elena." She was as tall as Logan with the same colored hair.

"Hello." Elena said smoothly and smiled warmly, shaking my hand. "It's wonderful to finally meet you. Logan's been talking about you for nearly six months."

"Oh." I smiled. "All good things I hope."

"And this is my father, Clayton." Logan proceeded. "Dad, Joslyn."

"It's a pleasure meeting you, sir."

Logan's father eyed me for a few moments before Elena elbowed him in the ribs.

"You as well." His voice was a deep southern drawl.

"You know Drew."

"A pleasure as always, love." Drew kissed the back of my hand.

"This is my cousin Nick and my Uncle Antonio Sorrentino." Both were dark haired and dark eyed. Nick was slender but still built well. He was half a head taller than Antonio had short, wavy, styled hair. Antonio shared the same wavy hair as Nick but seemed to take less care in its placement. He was broad shouldered and made the muscular men around him all look like featherweights. He was also older but not by much.

"Well, look at you doll." Nick's smile was the kind that was contagious. "Hey, if you ever get sick of this guy…"

"That's enough Nicky." Antonio's voice boomed. "Hello, dear. Excuse him, he doesn't always think with the right head."

"I don't think you'll need introductions to the last of our group." Logan said.

I turned my head to see a lean man with dark, slightly slanted eyes. His hair was black and tied back at the nape of his neck. He looked around the same age as Antonio. I almost couldn't find my voice in the presence of this great artist.

"Mr. Danvers." I said in just above a whisper. "It's an honor to meet you, sir. I'm a great fan of your work."

"Please, call me Jeremy." His voice was soft and soothing. "It's a great honor meeting you as well."

I was almost as breathless as when I first kissed Logan.

"Dinner's all ready in the dining room whenever you're all ready." Katie popped into the room.

Everyone filed out of the study. Logan held me back as I made to follow everyone.

"How are you doing?" He said taking my hands in his.

"Good." I smiled. The knots had loosened a little.

"I think that went well."

"Yeah." I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Dinner?" Logan waved his hand toward the door.

"Let's do it."

I knew I was going to be fielding questions through dinner. I was there for them to get to know me and for me to get to know them, but it was five to one; they asked more than I got the chance to.

"Logan told us you went to Syracuse University." Elena said after we all began eating. "What did you study?"

"I got my masters in Fine Arts and bachelors in English."

"You double majored?" Katie asked, stunned.

"Yeah. I guess I wanted something to fall back on if the whole artist thing didn't work out."

"And what are you doing for work now?" Jeremy asked.

"I work in a local theater." I explained. "Set design."

"But that's not what she really wants to do." Logan added.

"And what do you really want to do?" Elena asked.

"That's still up in the air." I said shyly. "I'd love to do what _you_ do, Mr. Danvers."

"Translate text?" a low rumble of laughter around the table followed.

"Be an artist. Just do what I love to do, be good at it and get paid for it." I shrugged my shoulders feeling a little vulnerable.

"That's a dream amongst us all." Antonio took another bite of his bread.

"What about your family? Where do your parents live?" Elena set her utensils down and folded her hands under her chin.

"My grandparents raised me. They live on the Onondaga Res."

"Oh. It's beautiful over there." Antonio chided. "You must get some real nice paintings done in that area."

"Yeah." I knew my tone was revealing but I couldn't hide it.

When we'd all finished dinner, Logan gave me a tour of the house. I couldn't imagine wanting to leave such a beautiful place.

"That's Katie's room." Logan pointed to the door with the "Princess" sign posted.

"Princess… that's fitting." I suppressed a laugh. "Please don't tell me you have a blue "Prince" sign on yours."

"It's purple actually." Logan joked, a crooked smile on his face.

Logan took my hand and pulled me toward the next door.

"This is my room." He stopped in front of it, hesitant.

"What are you waiting for?" I whispered playfully, placing my hand on the doorknob and pushing the door open.

I walked in ahead of Logan. It was humorous to see Logan's old bedroom. The walls were plastered with posters of bands and half naked women. When I looked at Logan his cheeks were colored with embarrassment.

"Katie said she was going to take care of this for me." He kept his eyes from meeting mine.

I let my gaze flit across the room. It was a teenager's room definitely, why Logan kept it this way well into his twenties had me snickering on the inside. I took his hand and pulled him toward me, forcing him to look at me.

"How many girls have you had in here?"

"What?" a smile broke across his face.

"You know. You had to have been the hot guy every girl wanted in high school." I toyed with one of the buttons on his shirt. "I can only imagine how many unsuspecting girls were drawn in by your charm and dashing good looks."

He laughed but took a step back to close the door.

"Hold it there lover boy." Drew stuck his hand through the door to stop it closing.

"Drew." Logan held an annoyed expression. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say good bye to my girl." Drew slid into the room and between Logan and I. "Come by the restaurant anytime you like, Joslyn. I'll keep a table open for you."

"That's kind of you Drew, thank you." I smiled.

"It's really, very surprising that such a beautiful woman has such bad taste in men." He voice was flirtatious. He took my hand and sneaked a look back at Logan. "You ever think about ditching this ugly bastard and getting with a real man?"

"Drew." Logan stated plainly, with no anger. "Get the fuck out."

Drew smiled and kissed me square on the lips. Logan seemed to be having some trouble holding himself where he was as Drew left me stunned, exiting the room. My mouth was hanging open.

"Sorry." Logan said snapping me out of my shock. "Drew sees women as competition."

"Like most guys. I just wasn't expecting it." I turned red' "He's very friendly isn't he?"

"He tends to be a little too friendly." Logan closed the space between us. "How do you like them?"

"Your family? They're great. I wish…" I stopped myself automatically but forced the words out, looking at my feet. "I wish I had a family like yours."

"Well, _you've_ only known them for a day" He laughed a little. "Ten years from now you might have different thoughts."

"Ten years, huh? You think it'll take her that long?" Katie was leaning against the door jam.

"And you wonder why I moved out?" Logan turned to her.

"Mom wanted to know if you'd like to go for a walk." The statement was directed at me.

"Oh. Uh, sure." I nodded, another twist in my stomach.

I followed Katie downstairs and she led me into the kitchen where Elena sat on the marble countertop.

"Here." Katie handed me a pair of beaten sneakers. "I noticed you're only wearing flip flops."

"You're not coming?" I asked, a little panicked but hiding it well with a smile.

"I'm on dish duty." She shrugged.

Elena hopped off the counter and put her arm around my shoulders, guiding me to the door.

"It'll be just us this time." She gave me a little shake and I suddenly felt more nervous.


	15. Chapter 15

She brought me through the back door and onto a porch. A bench hung from the frame of the porch to our left. It looked like the perfect spot to read a newspaper or something. I followed Elena down the steps, into the backyard and toward the woods.

"We're walking in the woods?" I asked. "Won't it be dark soon?"

"Don't worry." She laughed. "I'll make sure you get home safe."

She was more than a little intimidating. In fact, as I walked behind her into the trees, she was downright scary. I didn't think that my boyfriend's mother could ever be a scary thing. She slowed her pace as the house slid from view and walked next to me.

"You look a little worried." Elena smirked.

I laughed nervously.

"I'm not going to interrogate you, if that's what you were thinking. Just thought you might want to get out into the fresh air." She looked sideways at me. "This must be very overwhelming for you. All this family-ness around."

"It's wonderful." I smiled.

"Jeremy likes you."

My jaw dropped. "He does?"

"Yes. We've never seen Logan like this." She seemed to enjoy that fact. "It's nice to see him happy."

I smiled to myself.

"I know you've only been dating what…six months?" I nodded and she continued. "Six months ago he was all about work, work, work."

"Yeah. We kind of just found each other by an off chance." I smiled remembering the day.

"How is it that you met? He never told us."

"He kind of rescued me, I guess. I was having lunch at a restaurant and my ex was there and Logan pretended to be my date so Mark would leave. Then he asked me to dinner."

"Is Mark the man who attacked you a few months ago?" Elena asked after a few moments.

I grimaced and nodded. "I didn't know he was--."

"You don't need to give me excuses, Joslyn. We're just glad you're both alright."

The images of that night flashed through my mind. I nearly went to tears with the image of Logan bleeding on the floor.

"I don't know what I would have done if he--."

"Neither do I." Elena said calmly, looking at me intently.

I looked around and noticed that it was almost pitch black around us. Elena stopped and turned around.

"It is getting dark isn't it? Will you be taking the trip back to Syracuse or staying with us tonight?"

"Oh. I didn't know we were invited." I said following her closely, she seemed to see pretty easily in the darkness.

"Of course Logan wouldn't mention it." Elena laughed. "He really does like his privacy."

I was relieved when the back porch light came into view. As we walked to the back door I saw Logan sitting on the porch swing. Elena walked through the door as I sat with Logan.

"Hi." He said putting his arm around me.

"Hi." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"What did you girls talk about?"

"Girl stuff." I smiled.

He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

We sat and listened to the chirping crickets for a good hour before going back inside. Logan led me through the house and back into the study. Jeremy was sitting across from Elena and Clay on the leather couches, Katie sat behind the desk with her feet up.

"We're gonna get going." Logan announced.

"Oh, your mom invited us to stay the night." I said up to him.

"You want to?" Logan seemed slightly taken aback.

"Why not?" I shrugged.

"You must be must be tired, Logan." Elena chimed in. "It's a long drive back to Syracuse."

He took time to think about it.

"I insist, Logan." Jeremy said, that seemed to finalize it.

"I'll go make up the guest room." Katie smiled.

"Guest room? Why can't she just sleep with me?"

I turned a little rosy cheeked.

"Because we don't want little Logan's running around just yet." Elena smiled.

"Mom." Logan expressed his distaste with her statement.

I laughed a little and Logan scowled at me.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" He asked me humorously.

I just shrugged and followed Katie to help get the room set.

When everything was ready and I'd changed into a pair of old sweatpants and t-shirt of Logan's I joined everyone back in the study. They were all where I'd left them and Katie took her place back behind the desk.

"Joslyn, have a glass of wine. It's delicious." Elena handed me a cup before I could refuse.

Logan looked at her with a critical gaze and took a cup as well. I sipped from the glass paying no real attention to it. I immediately felt the warmth of the alcohol in my throat. And I felt oddly tired. My head lolled to the side onto Logan's shoulder.

"Joslyn?" Logan called my name; I was aware of his voice but barely understood it and couldn't respond. "Joslyn!"

"Logan calm down." Clay's southern drawl sounded over Logan's voice.

"What did you do to her?"

"It's just a mild sleep aid. She'll wake up rejuvenated in the morning." Elena said.

"I can't believe this." Logan slid his hands over my face. "You drugged my girlfriend."

"We're just being careful." Jeremy voiced before I passed out.

I didn't wake up rejuvenated. I felt like I had a really bed hangover. When I opened my eyes and looked around me I didn't remember getting to Logan's room the night before. I didn't even remember leaving the study. I turned but Logan wasn't in the bed. He was always awake before me. I sat up and put my feet on the cold floor. Logan walked in a few moments later.

"Good morning." He said taking my face and kissing me. He examined my eyes pointedly. "How are you feeling? Is your head OK?"

"Yeah, I feel alright. My head kinda hurts." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"You uh…kind of passed out last night." He held some bitterness. "That's why I can't remember anything."

"You don't remember _anything_?"

"Nothing after going into the study." I shook my head but that only made my headache worse. "Could you get me some water?"

"Of course." Logan replied and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a water bottle. I gulped it down. He kept his eyes on me the whole time.

"Is everything OK?" I asked.

"Yeah. We'll be leaving soon. I'll go get your clothes out of the dryer." He left quickly again.

I sat on the bed and waited. He took longer this time. I thought that while I was waiting I might as well use my time wisely and slipped from the bedroom and down the hall to the one bathroom in the house. No one was using it and the house seemed quiet, so I turned on the tap and started to undress. Of course, there was a knock on the door. I opened it slightly to see Katie's smiling face.

"Oh. Do you need the bathroom? Let me grab a towel--."

"I don't mind," Katie pushed passed me and closed the door behind her. "I just have to brush my teeth."

I was standing almost naked, in shock. She looked at me and laughed at my stunned expression.

"Go ahead." She nodded at the shower.

I took of the remainder off my clothing, concealing as much of my body as I could and stepped into the shower.

"Where'd you get all those scars?" Katie was never shy about anything.

"Uh…My ex."

"Oh. Mark? Is he in jail yet?"

"Yeah. Two years."

"That's it?" She didn't seem outraged, like I had been when I found out. "Guess you can get away anything these days."

"Yeah." I put my head under the water.

Katie carried on a one-sided conversation for a while before leaving. There was another knock a few minutes later but Logan didn't wait for me to answer him. He set my clothes on the toilet and poked his face through the shower curtain.

"Everything's ready to go when you get out." Logan said.

"You're not going to shower?" I asked scrubbing my face with soap.

I didn't get an answer until I felt Logan's body against mine.

"Logan! What are you doing?" I couldn't open my eyes for the soap on them. I rubbed my face under the water and turned to look at him. He was smiling.

"I'm taking a shower."

"I didn't mean take a shower right _now._" Though I didn't really mind all that much. "Your whole family is here."

He just laughed and lathered himself up. It was a rare occurrence that when Logan joined me in the shower it didn't turn into something more, luckily this was one of those times. I don't know how I'd face Logan's family if it had gotten any hotter in there.

I retreated to Logan's room when I was finished, taking with me all of my clothes. I dressed in the silence of the house. It was odd how quiet it was at Stonehaven. I'd grown too used to the noises of the city.

Logan's whole family saw us out; including his grandfather. They all hugged Logan goodbye, then hugged me to my great surprise.

"It was wonderful to meet you Joslyn. You're welcome in our home any time." Jeremy said with is soothing, soft voice.

"Thank you so much, sir."

"Perhaps next time you come you'll bring some of your work."

"I'd be honored."

"Alright, guys. I'll see you in a few days." Logan said. I looked at him, confused; he never mentioned coming back.

"Where are you going?" I asked as soon as the tires hit the pavement of the road.

"I have to go to New York for a few days."

"What for?"

"Do you have to know everything?" there was venom in his voice.

"Sorry. I was just curious."

He sighed. "It's kind of a family reunion. It'll only be a few days, I promise."

"Your whole family is going?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds like fun."

"I'd invite you but…"

"It's alright. I know. It's a family thing."

Silence followed in the moments after. Logan seemed to be thinking about something. I didn't interrupt his thoughts.

Logan going to this family reunion came at the perfect time. The first student performances were coming up and when I got back home I had a lot of messages to reply to on my email. I ended up having a huge workload to handle. I barely had time to say goodbye to Logan before he left.


	16. Chapter 16

It was weeks before I spent any real quality time with Logan. I was so busy working that I had little time to spare. Logan wasn't used to not having me whenever he wanted. We started seeing each other in the beginning of the school break which was my vacation time too. Now that the semester began again I wasn't as available as I used to be. But he came over every night or I spent the night at his place. Before I knew it, Christmas break was upon us. I had no idea where the time went.

"Good morning." Logan smiled as I rolled over in my waking. We practically lived together now.

"Hi." I smiled too.

"My mom called this morning."

"How is she?" I asked.

"Good. Everyone's good." He nodded. "They want us to come for Christmas."

"Oh. OK, if you want to."

"I don't really want to."

"Why not?" I chuckled.

"I just want to be with _you_."

"I like your family. You know I won't let you blow them off."

"I think you have a crush on my grandfather..."

I laughed.

A week later we stood at the front door of Stonehaven again. When the door opened I was swept in by the arm of Logan's cousin Drew. He kissed my cheek and took my coat for me.

"Merry Christmas." Drew hugged me again.

"It's nice to see you again, Drew." I said.

"C'mon' everyone's waiting." He took my hand and pulled me down the hall, leaving a smiling Logan behind, still unwrapping himself from his winter garb. We turned into the study. "They're here!"

I went around the room, and hugged everyone one by one. Katie gave me an extra tight squeeze and took my hands, looking down at them then looked up at my neck. She looked meaningfully at Logan as he entered, slipping alongside me putting his hand around my waist. We ate dinner in the late afternoon. Everyone got to tell their most embarrassing Logan story to me and all thoroughly enjoyed doing so. Then they turned on Katie, who fumed a bit before joining in the laughter. We drank wine with dessert a few hours later. Then drank more.

"Logan?" Clay motioned for Logan to follow him.

"I'll be back." Logan kissed my forehead and stood to follow his father from the room.

"Didn't Logan give you your present yet?" Katie asked when Logan was out of the room.

"No." I looked at my hands. "He wouldn't give it to me until after we get back to his place."

"Yeah, you're gonna want to be near a bed." She nodded and laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I smiled.

She shrugged, looking as innocent as a guilty person could. I felt and hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Jeremy handing me an envelope.

"This is from Clay, Elena and I." Jeremy said softly. "I didn't want you to open it in front of Logan because I know he'd make an ordeal of it."

I ripped the envelope open and took out the contents; a mountainous scene on the front of a thick brochure. Alaska. I looked up at Jeremy, eyes wide.

"With just cause." My mouth hung open. "This is too much."

"It expires in six months." Jeremy said and walked back to where he was sitting, speaking with Antonio.

Logan came back into the room looking grave. He took his seat next to me and I handed him the envelope. His demeanor changed instantly. He looked over to Jeremy, getting ready to protest but I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I already tried." I shrugged.

We stayed another hour. I drank more wine. I talked with Elena and Katie and Antonio. I was drunk as a skunk.

"I think we better get going." Logan whispered to me.

"Oh, Logan." Elena said with a wave of her hand. "Don't spoil the fun. She's fine."

"I had made plans actually, mom."

Katie nudged me and smirked.

"They haven't exchanged gifts yet." Katie announced to everyone.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Antonio piped in.

"Shh…" Elena said. "Let them go. You have to come back sooner than last time, Joslyn. Even if you don't bring Logan with you."

"Thanks, mom." Logan said sarcastically.

We walked into the cold air to Logan's Jeep. He opened to door for me and I climbed inside. I shifted into the seat, getting comfortable for the long ride back to Syracuse. Logan seemed to have something on his mind as he drove down the highway. My mind was too numb to form the correct questions. I fell asleep soon after the ride began. I was woken by the sudden lift of my body off of the passenger seat. I flung my arms around Logan's neck and clung to him.

"It's OK. I've got you." He said quietly in my ear.

My head was a bit clearer now but still clouded with sleep. I began to nod off again as Logan carried me lightly into his apartment. I was roused again when he set me on his bed and kissed my forehead.

"Merry Christmas, Joslyn." He said quietly.

"Logan." I breathed, still half asleep. "I still have to give you your present."

"Just sleep." He stroked my cheek. "We'll do it tomorrow."

"Logan." I breathed once more.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I was lulled into my dreams by his soft touch.

My head pounded when I woke the next morning. I could barely open my eyes, but when I did I saw Logan smiling at me.

"Oh my God." I rolled into the pillow again. "My head is pounding."

"I brought up some water." He said softly. "And you still have to open your Christmas present."

I turned my head so I could see him. His eyes were sparkling like they always did. When I made to sit up I noticed I was still in my clothes from the previous day.

"I need to shower." I said rubbing my face.

"Yeah you do." He joked. "I thought we could go out to breakfast too."

I slipped out of my boots and socks while pulling off my sweater. "Do you want your present now?" I asked then taking off my tank top.

"Mmm. Does it involve this little strip tease your doing?"

"I don't know." I laughed "It's in my car."

"Are you going to get it like that?" He asked with raised eyebrows. "It would be a present enough watching you run half naked through the snow."

I laughed again and walked to the dresser, taking out a pair of my jeans, a t-shirt and under clothes.

"Don't be long. I want you to open your present." Logan called when I closed the bathroom door.

I showered quickly. Logan was lounging on the bed when I came out brushing my hair. He held a small wrapped box in his hand and a wide smile on his face.

"Let me go get yours."

"Already done." He said pulling another small box from under a pillow.

"Anxious?" I asked as he shook it next to his ear.

I joined him on the bed and took my gift from him. I tore the colorful paper revealing a black box as he did the same with his gift. I looked up at him with raised eyebrows. I opened the box to find another wrapped box.

"You jerk." I nudged him and started unwrapping that box.

Inside was a small velvet covered box. I looked at him biting my lip. Inside the hinged box was a necklace. It was simple but beautiful; a silver pendant of a wolf. I smiled up and Logan and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"I love it." I said releasing him. "Thank you."

"I wasn't sure if you had something like this already but I thought of you when I saw it."

"It's beautiful." I admired it. "Open yours, c'mon."

"Wow." He smiled when he opened the box and looked up at me, "I've always wanted an empty box."

"It's a fantasy." I bit my lip.

"What?" He had a playful smile on his face.

"Anything you want…I'll do it." I lifted my shoulders and smiled.

"That has to be the single greatest gift anyone has ever given to me." I could see him working it out in his head. "Does it have to be right now?"

"No. Whenever."

"Oh, Joslyn." He kissed me. It was a passionate, meaningful kiss. "You are the greatest girlfriend ever."

After breakfast I had Logan take me home. I needed to do my laundry badly and he had some errands to run. I threw a load of wash in and as I walked to the stairway I looked into the corner I had so often occupied for hours when I was painting. It was dusty and unused now. I hadn't picked up a brush and painted for pleasure in months. I regretted that as I walked up the stairs to start cleaning my bathroom.

The next time I saw Logan, he was holding the envelope from his parents and Jeremy.

"When do you want to go?"

" Alaska…um… I don't know, Jeremy said it's good for six months so maybe we should wait until February break then we won't have to take any time off."

"You want to go to Alaska in winter time?"

"I don't know, you asked." I shrugged.

"Let's go when the last semester is over. I know that's when you'll really need it."

"Which coincides with when we first met." I smirked. "You're not trying to pull a fast one on me aren't you?"

"Of course not, you're an extremely observant person. I wouldn't even dream of it." He smiled. "So is it set? We'll go at the end of the semester?"

"Count me in."

I was even busier after Christmas break. For the first time since I had this job I thought about throwing in the towel. On one especially long day in February I decided to take an early lunch and stepped into the cold air behind the theater. Logan had stopped by earlier with a hot coffee for me before he went back up to Stonehaven to work with his grandfather. It was cold now and I set off to buy another one. As I rounded the corner I walked straight into a tall, dark haired, slender man with emerald green eyes. He grabbed hold of me before I lost my balance

"I'm sorry." I said looking up at him. Usually I was to only person here until at least one. "Can I help you?"

He inhaled deeply before speaking and I felt an odd expression forming on my face. He released me and stepped back putting a charming smile on his face.

"Do you know Logan Danvers?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I'm an old friend of his. Do you know where I can find him?"

"He went up to his parent's house for the day. He's doing some work up there. Do you want me to call him for you?"

"No, that's alright. What's your name?"

"Joslyn."

"Joslyn…thank you for your help." He said and turned back down the alley.

That was strange. How did he even know Logan had been here? That someone here would know him? I pushed it out of my mind and set off for my coffee.

"Joslyn we need to talk." Logan said over the phone that night.

"What's up?" I was only mildly concerned, he didn't use that tone often.

"I want to talk in person, will you meet me?"

"Yeah, where?"

"Over in the park? At the gazebo?"

"OK. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

I took a quick shower and dressed in fresh clothes. I wondered why Logan wanted to meet outside in this weather. It had begun to snow lightly as I walked along the sidewalk toward the park. It was only a few blocks from my house. I saw Logan leaning against a post near to the gazebo. He was on his phone. A strong gust of wind blew behind me and Logan looked up in my direction. He flipped his phone closed and straightened himself.

I approached him with a smile but he looked grim and sad.

"What's wrong?"

"Let's walk." He said and turned from me walking down the shoveled path away from the lighted area.

I caught up to him quickly. He kept his hands in his pockets and didn't look at me. I waited for him to say something and when he didn't I prompted him.

"Are you OK?"

"Joslyn, I can't see you anymore." He forced out.

I thought I heard him wrong. "What?" I shook my head, looking for some humor in his face; it wasn't there.

"We shouldn't see each other anymore."

"I don't understand…"

He seemed to be struggling with something. "You deserve someone better than me."

"There is no one better than you." I argued.

"Joslyn," He held anger in his voice. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard "I can't be with you anymore."

I stopped, my mouth hanging open; no words coming to me. My breathing became ragged and I felt the burn of a cry in my throat. Tears welled in my eyes.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you." He said quietly and stepped toward me.

I felt his face close to mine. He kissed my forehead and drifted away. I didn't look up to see him walking from me. I found the nearest bench and sank into it, crying. I welcomed the cold, wet snow that was now falling heavily. It gave me something to feel besides the pain in my chest. I didn't know how long I'd sat there with my legs tucked into my chest, head on my knees. My phone rang many times but I never made to answer it. I just wanted to be numb; to sleep until this went away, if it ever would.

It was almost sunrise when I walked into my front door. Dara shot up from the couch and skidded into the entryway.

"Where have you been? Logan said I should keep an eye on you…" When she saw my tear swollen face she slowed her speech "…last night."

"I don't want to talk about it." I dragged myself past her and up the stairs.

This pain was unreal to me.


	17. Chapter 17

It took me a few days to drag myself outside again. I kept asking myself why this happened. What was behind Logan's sudden change of heart? I tried to figure out what I did. Maybe I would just have to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't meant to be happy with someone. Katie called me several times but I didn't answer. I couldn't be involved in any part of Logan's life, it would tear me apart. At least right now it would. When she stopped calling and I was grateful. After a week Dara stopped asking how I was doing. I never told her the truth anyway and she knew it. I started back on my old regiment at work; early mornings and late nights. I even did extra work to try to keep my mind off of what I was constantly thinking about anyway. I didn't see Logan at all but I felt him always.

The weeks passed but the pain never wavered. Logan seemed to just disappear. Though I suppose I did too. I couldn't go back to any place we'd frequented together; it was agonizing. The memories flooded me and practically drove me into hiding. It seemed just too much to live in Syracuse anymore.

I found myself back at Frank's bar more often than not. It was a place I had before Logan and I could always think of it that way. It became routine to stop by after work now. The bar wasn't busy, it being only a Tuesday. A group of college students sat at one table and a dark haired, burly man sat in the corner closest to the door. He wore a suit and tie. Very New York businessman like, out of place in this small, college bar. I looked at him curiously as he tapped the outside of his cold mug. I stopped paying attention when I got to the bar.

"How you doing?" Frank was always concerned these days.

"Alright." I shrugged.

"I'm getting worried about you, Jos." He leaned on the bar lowering his voice. "It's been what? Three? Four weeks? You don't seem to be… getting over it."

"I guess time doesn't heal _all_ wounds."

He sighed and slid a beer onto the bar top. I drank two more beers; to get me buzzed enough to fall asleep without crying. I bid Frank goodnight and walked into the cold, March air. The ground was icy. Now was the time of year that the snow would melt during the day and the water would freeze at night making it dangerous for a sober person never mind someone who's had a few beers. I slipped a few times before reaching the steps of my house. When I made my approach, key ready for unlocking, I saw it was slightly open. I walked in, confused and a little pissed that Dara would make such a mistake. Only the entryway light was on, like always when I got home late. I closed the door tightly and locked it, making a mental note to mention it to Dara in the morning. Just like every other night, I hung up my jacket and walked up the stairs quietly so as not to disturb my roommate. I opened the door to my bedroom and walked in, dropping my bag and turning to flick on the light. I didn't get that far. My body was flung into the dark room by some unknown force behind me. Panic stabbed my heart as someone jumped on top of me, holding me to the ground, though I flailed and kicked as hard as I could trying to free myself. A hand came over my nose and mouth and I passed out cold.

I jumped awake, my head spinning and pounding. I was surrounded by darkness. My hands bound behind my back. I swore aloud. Panic began to set in, my heart was racing and my breathing matched it. I tried to clear my head. The floor below me was smooth and cold. I struggled to sit up and when I did nearly fell over again. Then I heard footsteps. I couldn't tell which direction it was coming from until an over head door opened in front of me, flooding the room with light. I saw that it was a storage facility. This unit was empty except for me.

"Who are you?" I asked the man in front of me.

His foot collided with my head. I saw stars and my head spun all the more.

"Keep your mouth shut." He hissed. His voice was hard and rough.

It was when he spoke that I finally ecognized him. He'd claimed to be an old friend of Logan's in the ally behind the theater.

"What do you want?" I dared again to speak.

He picked me up one handed by the throat and slammed me into the wall of the unit. I got the message. I corrected myself again and leaned against the wall. I watched the man as he pulled a cell phone up to his ear. He spoke softly and quickly. I only caught a few words. His green eyes sparkled at me and a smile crossed his face. He laughed. He shut his phone and took a few steps toward me.

"Your boyfriend, Logan…what do you think he'd be willing to do to get you back?"

I didn't answer him but looked at him with daggers. He laughed again.

"I can see why Logan chose you as his mate. You're strong… beautiful. Your sons would have a clear advantage in the pack."

I didn't know what he was talking about. The notion of having children with Logan made my heart ache for him.

"I'm not with Logan anymore." I said firmly.

"I suppose he thinks that will save you." He said humorously. "Instead of having to go after Logan and run the risk of running into his pack mates, I can use you to bring him here alone. So tell me, what do you think Logan would be willing to do in exchange for your life?"

"He won't come for me."

"I think he will. Even if he has no feelings for you; the Pack won't have an innocent girl's blood on their hands."

I shot my foot out to hit him but he was too quick. He landed a punch across my face, cutting open my cheek.

"You _are_ a spitfire aren't you?" He laughed and took out his phone again.

The unmistakable sound effect of a camera sounded.

"That wasn't very convincing. You need to look like you're in real pain." He heaved his foot into my stomach making me cough and gasp for breath. Another swift kick brought tears to my eyes.

I looked up at him with defiance and the camera effect sounded again in front of me. He laughed and turned from me. The phone went to his ear again.

"Logan." He said after a few moments, turning back to me with an evil grin on his face. "I think I may have run into a friend of yours. Let me tell you, she is a treat, and so, so beautiful." He laughed heartily at, I assumed, Logan's reaction. "So let's talk. You come here. Alone. I'll exchange your life for hers, simple as that. But if I get even a whiff of your pack, all it takes is one bite." He laughed again "I assure you she's alive… Proof?" He looked down at me with another evil grin and held the phone toward my face. "Say something so your boy will come and save you."

I kept my mouth shut. I wouldn't let Logan die to save me. No matter how much he hurt me. He was too good for that. The man lifted his foot and came down hard on my chest, breaking a few ribs I'm sure, but I only let out the slightest grunt, falling to the ground again. I didn't see his next move coming; only felt it when it happened. A resounding snap echoed off the walls before being drowned out by a piercing scream I discovered as my own as my ankle was crushed by the man's foot. Tears flooded from my eyes as the white hot pain shot up my leg. I barely heard the man laughing over the pounding of my heart in my ears. Tears flooded from my eyes as the hot pain shot up my leg. I barely stifled my scream before my vision became blurred and I passed out.

Next thing I heard was a deep rumbling. Almost like a growl. I opened my eyes to an orange glow of light surrounding me. I wasn't in the storage unit any longer. A streetlight shined somewhere near me giving off enough light to give away the dumpsters and brick walls of the alleyway I laid that the end of. I made to sit up and the agonizing pain of my broken ribs and ankle shot through my body. I called out in pain, my voice echoing off the walls. Another snarl brought my attention to a very large black dog sitting on his hind quarters ten feet away from me. He looked at me intently, his green eyes searing into mine with a frightful familiarity. When I tried to drag myself away he pounced on me, knocking me onto my back on the hard cement. His teeth bared, he growled just inches from my face. Just as suddenly he was thrown from me. Another dog, just as big if not bigger, snarling and snapping at the first stood before me, as if protecting. The black dog took heed on this second, blond dog and sat several feet away, waiting. Now the second dog turned toward me, ears down totally calm. I stared into his crystal blue eyes and nearly screamed. The similarity made my heart skip a beat.

"What are you?" I choked out.

He stepped closer and nuzzled my neck with his cold nose. It felt oddly right, like this was a part of him I'd been missing.

"Logan."

He yipped and nodded his head toward the open end of the alley. I looked down at my swollen, broken ankle. He followed my gaze letting a deep growl rip from his throat. He turned on the black dog and pounced instantly, taking him by surprise. That's when it dawned on me that the first dog as the man who'd held me captive, the man who came looking for Logan that day; and they weren't dogs at all. They were wolves. Werewolves. The thought twisted my stomach.

I stared in awe at the two wolves fighting in front of me. Every snap of the jaw, rip of flesh and scrape of paw resounded off the walls. It soon became apparent that Logan had the upper hand. Though they were both visibly tired, my captor was circling with a limp and deep gash in his right front leg. I watched as they both waited for the other's attack. Logan's eyes stayed focused on his opponent but the other wolf's eyes flickered to mine briefly. Before I even realized what had happened the black wolf had me pinned to the ground, teeth sinking into my shoulder. It was unlike any pain I'd ever felt, like being stabbed with a white hot fire poker. The whole of my shoulder felt on fire right down to the bone. Just as fast Logan threw him off of me. In my semi-consciousness I felt the spray of blood as Logan ripped out the other wolf's throat. A pained howl escaped Logan's throat and soon after I felt him licking my bloody wound. He whimpered, trying to keep my awake by nudging my face with his cold nose.

"Logan!" a panicked voice echoed through the alley, followed by running footsteps. "Shit! Go Change!"

I heard Logan's receding paw steps.

"Jos? Can you hear me? What happened?"

"Logan. Where's Logan?" I breathed.

"He'll be here. Tell me what happened."

Another surge of pain ripped through me. I didn't realize I was screaming until I stopped, feeling my raw throat.

"Logan!" I recognized Katie's voice by the way she said his name.

"I'm coming!" I heard him distantly, his footsteps became louder and louder until they stopped replaced by heavy breathing. "Joslyn. No, no, no, no. Can you hear me? Joslyn, talk to me." His face was close to mine.

"Logan." I whispered.

"Oh. Oh, God. Stay with me. I love you, Joslyn. I love you. Don't let go." He pleaded. "Please. Don't let go."

"Daddy? Get Jeremy." Katie was on the phone, walking away from us. "He bit Joslyn."

"Jos, talk to me. Say something." Logan's hands were on my face.

I stared into his teary eyes. The pain was escalating, all stemming from my shoulder.

"What's happening?" I gulped air into my lungs. "It hurts."

"I know, baby. Don't fight it. Just let it go."

"Logan." I thought I dying. "I love you."

"No! Joslyn, don't. Stay with me, please. I need you. Just stay with me. Please, I love you so much."

"We have to bring her to Jeremy." Katie said. "We can't do anything here."

I felt my body lift from the concrete. Logan held me close to him. The only way I could tell he was running was the breeze blowing on my face, Logan's steps were so smooth I was barely jostled. He slid inside the back of his Jeep still holding me.

"Kate hurry. She's already turning."

The hurt ripped through my body. I was barely aware we were travelling at more than 100mph. I was drowning in the pain, only able to resurface to find Logan's panicked pleas to hold on, that we were almost there. I had no idea where he was taking me. I was so concentrated on his voice and the pain I didn't know we'd stopped and Logan was carrying me again. My muscles twisted and cramped.

"What happened?" this new voice brought me closer to the surface.

"It was the mutt. He was losing and he knew it. He knew he was already dead. She was sitting there and he—"

"Why didn't you get her out of there?" the voice was scolding.

"He broke her ankle. She couldn't walk and I was already changed."

"How long has it been?"

"Twenty minutes. She's already started to turn. Look at her hands."

"Bring her to the cage." The voice said softly after a long moment.

"What? No!"

"We won't be able to control her. The first change is always the worst, you know that. If she makes it through the night; through the first change then she has a chance but not without my help."

"But the cage is..."

"Logan. What does it matter if it means she'll survive?" Katie interceded.

Soon came the sound of creaking metal. Logan let go of my writhing, shaking body onto something cushioned. A soft kiss and another word of apology and Logan was gone. I knew only because I couldn't feel his warmth. I was surrounded by cold and damp.

I heard a soothing, calm voice. It was encouraging, guiding and reassuring me through all the twists and aches in my body. I felt on fire, in hell toward the end. The pain was suffocating, then it subsided quickly almost in an instant and I drifted into sleep.

****Thank you everyone for all your support. I'm in the process of moving but I'll update as soon as I can. R/R!**


	18. Chapter 18

****Sorry it took so long. Hope you like it.**

I woke with a start. My body and mind muddled and blury. I opened my eyes to see a stone wall. I inhaled the scent of damp, sweat and very faintly an earthy smell I somehow recognized as Logan.

"Logan?" I whispered.

"Logan isn't here." I recognized the voice immediately.

I looked around to where the voice came from and saw Jeremy Danvers sitting in near darkness behind a row vertical bars. It didn't make sense; why would Logan's grandfather be behind bars? That's when my scope widened and I saw that I was the one behind the bars; Jeremy was looking in at me.

"What's going on?" I panicked, moving toward his still figure. "Where's Logan?"

"We need to keep you separated from him for now. Until you understand what's happening and you can control it."

"Control what?" I demanded. "Why am I in here? Where is Logan?"

"Don't you remember?"

It all came back at once; the storage facility, the alley, the wolves, the pain. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't know what to think.

"What happened to me?" I sat back on the cot, away from Jeremy

"You were bitten by a wolf."

"A werewolf." I said quietly.

"Yes."

"And Logan is a…"

"Yes."

"And so are you."

He nodded.

"And…" I couldn't say it.

"Yes."

"What does that mean?" I sat back down on the cot.

"You should get some more rest."

"I want to know what's happening to me." I said. I didn't realize before this how scared I was. The fear inside me began to bubble.

"You're going through your first Changes. It will take time for you to be able to control them but they can be controlled. I can help you with that."

"I need to see Logan." I cried softly.

"You need to be in better contro--."

"I don't care! I need Logan." I screamed.

As the anger surged through me so did the pain. My muscles began ripping, my bones burning once more. I was enveloped in the pain. I doubled over onto my hands and knees. My skin stretched, my whole body itched as fur sprouted all over me. The sight made me panic and I rolled onto the ground.

"Don't fight it Joslyn. Let nature take over."

Nature? This wasn't natural. People aren't meant to turn into wolves like I was, like Logan did. And the pain; the pain was most unnatural. Those few minutes were agonizing.

All at once it stopped. I opened my eyes, panting, and looked around. The colors that I'd seen with my human eyes were muted now but everything was much sharper. I could hear the rustling of the leaves in the wind outside. I could smell the exhaust of a car rumbling down the nearby street. I looked at Jeremy through the bars and he looked back at me. His expression wasn't of horror, like mine would have been. His face was etched with concern and curiosity. He spoke but I didn't understand. When he walked toward me I cowered back. He held his ground. He spoke again but I still didn't understand. He spoke at the bars until I relaxed, then he opened the door and took the single chair within the enclosure. I kept my distance. We sat like this for hours. I figured he was trying to gain my trust. I didn't ignore him but didn't embrace him either. When he stood again I wasn't afraid at least. He opened the door and closed me in again, speaking then leaving up the stairs. I felt more alone then than I had ever in my life to that point. Being canine I couldn't actually cry but the whines and howls made it clear how I was feeling.

Voices woke me, my eyes puffy with tears. I'd turned back to my human form thought I didn't remember how or when.

"She's been out a while." A man's deep voice came into my ears. "You seem concerned about her."

"I may be taking the wrong approach with her. She's different than Elena was. Elena was angry and violent; I just assumed this girl would be the same. She's not angry, she's frightened. I wonder if I should treat this how I had with Elena in the beginning." Jeremy's soothing voice spoke now.

"How did she react when you told her?"

"She's a smart girl. It didn't take her long to figure it out. She wanted Logan."

"Why not let him back? He's tried hasn't he?"

"Multiple times. I have to keep guard of the door." A few moments passed. "When Elena saw Clayton she smashed his face into the concrete and ran away."

"I can see your reservations. But maybe this girl has better control than you're giving her credit for. She has made it through a Change without you after all."

Silence followed in the next few minutes. I continued to pretend to sleep soundly until I heard the metal creaking in the door. I jumped with a start and rolled off the bed onto my feet. I looked down at my totally naked body and snatched what was left of a torn sheet, wrapping it around to best cover up myself as I could. Then I looked up to the smiling face of Antonio.

"How are you feeling, Joslyn?"

"You're a werewolf too." I could smell it on him.

He laughed heartily. "Very good; you're coming into your senses gracefully."

"Where is Logan?" I asked.

"He's in New York with Drew right now."

_He left me again._ I thought

"Why do you have me in this cage?" I asked

"I didn't know how you would behave; becoming like us." Jeremy said. "I was protecting my pack."

"Pack." I repeated, this was very overwhelming.

"You must have a lot of questions." Jeremy said stepping closer to me than Antonio was. I stepped back a little farther. "Please, join us upstairs for something to eat."

I didn't realize how hungry I was until he mentioned food. But I was still wary. Could I trust them without Logan being around? They had done me no harm in the past; they even embraced me. But I knew their secret now, would they keep me alive?

"How do I know you won't hurt me?" I asked quietly.

Jeremy looked at me intently, as if deciding on something. "I'll call for Logan as soon as we get upstairs. He'll leave immediately. We'll get you something to wear as well."

I nodded and followed them up the stairs to the familiar kitchen I'd last seen at Christmas time. Antonio pulled out plates of what looked like leftovers from the fridge. Antonio was humored, as I began practically stuffing my face with food. I was so very hungry. Jeremy left the room.

"You'll be surprised at how much you can put away now. Your metabolism is much faster; you'll need to eat more and more often."

I didn't want to think about what I'd become. I wanted to focus on putting food in my belly and getting some warm clothes on. I ate nearly everything in front of me before feeling full. I hadn't noticed that Jeremy returned.

"I have the guest room ready for you with fresh clothes." Jeremy said.

"Thank you." I said with a nod.

"You should get some more rest. Logan will be here by dusk."

I felt a flutter in my stomach. Logan was coming back for me. I didn't know how I felt about that. I wanted to see him with all my heart but what if he still didn't want me? How would I live with that? How would I live at all with what's happened to me? I went into the spare bedroom of Stonehaven and cried myself to sleep. I didn't know what to do or think. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening to me.

"Joslyn." I heard my name whispered softly. I felt warmth in my hand. I pulled my eyes open.

I thought I was dreaming. Logan sat on the bed next to me, holding my hand, stroking my hair. He lifted my hand and kissed it. I blinked, expecting Logan to disappear but when he didn't I shot up and put my arms around his neck.

"Logan." I cried, holding a tightly as I could onto him.

"I'm sorry, Joslyn. I'm so sorry."

I pulled away from him. There was pain in his eyes. I didn't understand.

"I love you endlessly, Joslyn. I didn't mean for this to happen to you."

"It's not your fault." I said wiping my tear-streaked cheeks.

"It is. I should have stayed with you. I thought that leaving you was best to keep them from going after you to get to me but he saw through it. I left you completely vulnerable."

I stayed silent for a moment. "Who was it?"

"His name was Viktor Ortiz."

"And you killed him."

"Yes."

"Why did he want to get to you?"

"…I killed his brother."

I sighed heavily. "There's a lot of stuff I don't know about you huh?"

He nodded. "I didn't want to hurt you, Joslyn. I thought it was the only way to protect you."

A million questions ran through my head; a million thoughts. Only one stood out so strongly that I had to say it first.

"I love you."

"I could never love anyone as much as I love you, Joslyn." He stroked the side of my face with his hand. "I feel like I've ruined your life."

I looked out the window at the pink sky.

"Kind of ironic isn't it? You're being a wolf. After I told you so many times that I've always felt a connection…"

He smiled and kissed me.

We were left to ourselves that night.

In the morning, Logan and I found the kitchen empty. Logan went straight for the fridge and I took a seat at the breakfast bar. I would have found this peaceful with my human ears but I heard everything. The grinding of the refrigerator door, the rustling leave outside, the creaking of the floorboards upstairs.

"Katie's just getting up." Logan said watching me.

"I can hear everything." I said quietly.

"You'll get used to it."

"Is Katie really your sister?"

"You can't see the resemblance?" Logan smiled.

"I do. You were both bitten?"

"No. Our parents were bitten."

"This is big." I sighed.

"It's bigger than you think." He said as Katie walked into the room.

"Joslyn." She seemed relieved when she saw me, and hugged me; her scent was different from Logan's, sweeter; then turned to her brother. "You think you could have kept it down last night? Some of us were trying to sleep."

I turned red and Logan laughed.

"What do you want to eat, baby?" Logan asked me.

"Anything." I said with a smile as my stomach gave a loud grumble.

"We always have the fridge fully stocked. You don't have to worry about going hungry."

"I'll have to remember that at my place."

Both Logan and Katie looked at me carefully.

"Hon, you can't go home yet."

"What?"

"You need to be able to control your Changes before you can leave here."

"I have to _stay_ here?"

"It'll only be a few months."

"What about my job? What about my friends?" I argued. "I can't just disappear, they'll look for me."

"Call Dara, tell her you're going to be staying with me from now on."

"Logan I can't just leave everything behind. It doesn't work like that."

"You have to." I heard Jeremy from the back door. "You can't go back now, you're dangerous."

"How?" I asked a little too impolitely.

"As Logan said, you don't have control over your Changes. _Anything _could trigger a Change at this point. If you let your emotions get the better of you, you could change right now. You need to learn how to control it before we let you back into society."

It felt trapped suddenly. I had to remind myself that they knew what they were talking about.

"I know it's hard." Logan said standing in front of me, rubbing my arms. "You'll have everything you need. And I'll be here with you."

"How do I control it?" I asked wanting to get it done with so I could go back home.

"First you have to be able to recognize the signs. You have to know when it's coming so if you have to find a safe place to Change you can do it without worry of being noticed."

"And what are the signs?"

"You'll learn to recognize them. It will be different for you than it is for me or Logan. As a general rule of thumb you need to Change at least once a week but with control and only if you have to, you can go longer."

"Why so often? I thought it was when the full moon comes out?" I couldn't hide the humor in my voice.

"Myth." Logan voiced. "That's all Hollywood. But if you hold off for too long, nature will take over and you'll turn into the mindless beast the movies perceive us to be."

"We do not attack humans." Jeremy said firmly. "If you attack a human in anyway other than defense and as a last resort then you will face Pack law."

"Unless you're a loveable, misguided pup from the bayou." Elena and Clay entered through the back door.

"Enough of that, darlin'." Clay said.

"Giving her the low-down on Pack life already Jer?" Elena asked. "Did you even give her the choice? Pack or Mutt?"

"Mutt?" I furrowed my brow.

"Someone who doesn't abide by Pack law." Logan answered. "No killing humans, no giving us away, that kind of stuff. If you're a mutt, you're against the Pack."

"How many werewolves are there?"

"Over a hundred."

My eyes went wide. How was it that no one knew about this? We have werewolves living amongst us and we were completely oblivious of it. I suppose I wasn't part of that group now.

"And the numbers are rising." Elena said. "Mutts are getting more and more out of control. We have to travel a lot to…take care of them."

"You kill them all?"

"We try not to involve ourselves with the lives of mutts unless they cause trouble." Jeremy said. "Killing them is not something that we particularly _enjoy_ doing."

"Not unless they piss us off enough." Elena added.

"We have certain rules that need to be followed in order to keep our existence a secret from the humans. Most mutts don't follow those rules."

"Why?" I asked.

"Ignorance in most cases. The creators of the new wolves just leave their victims to fend for themselves and they don't get the discipline like we do to control their Changes and can't refrain from attacking everything they can sink their teeth into."

Something didn't sit right with me. These werewolves were being created all over the country and left without any guidance then killed by the pack because of their lack of knowledge of these rules and laws created by the Pack. How did a mutt even know the rules existed if they weren't in the Pack? It seemed an injustice to me.

Logan looked at me from across the kitchen curiously. He saw the gears working in my head; he knew me all too well already. Our little accidental meeting adjourned and I followed Logan into the study.

"We need to talk." He said quietly. "I can tell you don't like this."

"It's not that I don't like it." I whispered. "They're innocent people out there that are getting bitten by werewolves then killed because the asshole who bit him didn't clue him in on the rules."

"That's not how it is."

"Well that's how it sounds." I said.

"We tell them the laws and give them a choice. We let them join the Pack but they have to follow Pack laws. Most of them don't want anything to do with us."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Logan raised his shoulders and shook his head. "I'm not a mutt."

"It just doesn't seem right." I said. "They're innocent people… just like me."

"But you know how we're supposed to live."

"You don't know any other way. What if their way is better?" I felt the spark light up my eyes.

"Don't talk like that." Logan said darkly and turned out of the room.


	19. Chapter 19

***I rewrote this chapter because it just wasn't working for me. So this is the new Ch. 19. I hope it works better.**

The next month of my life was the most difficult I'd ever faced, physically at least. I called my closest friends, namely Dara, and told her that I was going on a trip to Europe with Logan and wouldn't be back for a couple of months but would be sending the rent when it was due. It sucked lying to her but anyone who was looking for me would go to her first. Unfortunately, my boss wasn't as understanding. He gave me an ultimatum and I had to choose to stay where I was, as much as it hurt to let go of a job I loved so much. Logan was sympathetic and assured me I'd find another to love as much. It seemed my life was turned upside down.

After I was regularly in control of my Changes Jeremy let me out of Stonehaven little by little. First I went into town, then to Antonio's estate in New York City.

"This place is enormous." I said to Logan after a personal tour. "Why doesn't the whole pack live here; it's big enough."

"Stonehaven is Jeremy's home." Logan stopping back in the entrance hall where we'd started and looked at me carefully. "Listen, I have to take a trip. We've been having a lot of mutt activity in Florida."

"That's why you've been going to Florida? To deal with other werewolves?"

"Just one werewolf now." Logan said. "I've already killed his brothers."

"Can I go with you?" I asked.

"No. You'll stay here with Drew and Nick."

"Why can't I go?"

"If this guy finds out you exist he'll tell every other wolf he knows."

"They'll find out about me eventually."

"I don't want to share you so I'd rather you have some combat training under your belt before we tell the world about you." Logan smiled. "You'll stay here with Nick and Drew until we get back; they'll protect you."

"Who else is going?"

"My parents, Jeremy and Katie."

"Katie can go but I can't?"

"You've never seen Katie fight." Logan smiled.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"I don't know. We have to track him first and that could take…weeks if he knows what he's doing." Logan turned serious. "If he's anything like his brothers then we have some work ahead of us."

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I get back to Stonehaven." He said. "You're going to be staying in the guest house. I thought you'd be more comfortable there; it's not so empty. Nick is waiting for us out there."

Logan took my hand and pulled me toward the kitchen again but I held my ground. He turned back to me smiling.

"I really have to go, Joslyn." He said as I pulled him back to me.

"You tell me that you don't know when we'll see each other again and expect me to just let you walk out that door?" I smirked. "You know me better than that."

"It won't be as long as you think." He said stroking my cheek with his thumb and kissed me softly. "I can't stay away from you."

"Alright lovebirds." Nick's voice echoed through the hall. "Clayton's called me three times already. Logan, you gotta get your ass home."

"I was just bringing her out to the guest house." Logan said still looking at me.

"I think I should be the one to do that." Nick said. "Otherwise you won't get back 'til morning."

"I'll call you when we land." Logan said and kissed me.

I felt tears welling in my eyes but fought them back as Logan walked out the front door. I told myself over and over in my head that he would be back in my arms soon.

"Don't worry about him; we do these things all the time, doll."

"That doesn't make me feel better." I said to him.

"Logan is our strongest fighter." Nick looked like he took some pride in that. "He can hold his own against any werewolf out there. We all taught him everything we know; now he can take any of us down."

"Why is he so much stronger than any of you?"

"It comes with being a full blooded werewolf I guess."

"Were you bitten?"

"No."

"What about Jeremy?"

"Nope."

"So Clayton and Elena are the only ones who were?"

"And you. And a whole bunch of mutts out there."

I thought for a few minutes while following Nick outside to the guest house. It was almost dark now. The scent of the wet forest surrounded us. We stepped into the pool of light that was the front door and Nick waved me inside.

"Has anyone ever left the Pack?" I said before entering.

"Elena did for a while. Well, kind of. She was like an outside correspondent that Jeremy only called if he had to."

"Why did she leave?"

He shrugged. "It's a lot to deal with I guess."

"Yeah." I laughed a little. "How long have you been in the Pack?"

"My whole life."

"And no one's ever left, except Elena?"

"Well when Jeremy took over as Alpha a few people left; but that was all politics. I don't think anyone really _wanted_ to leave."

"What did Jeremy do to them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're not with the Pack then you're against it, right? Aren't there repercussions for leaving?"

"Jeremy's not like that. He didn't force their allegiance and he didn't act against them if they decided to leave."

"And that's why you have so much trouble with mutts, because you don't do anything to them."

"If they cause trouble we do."

"I don't think its working."

"Don't tell Jeremy that." Nick smiled.

I bid Nick goodnight and settled into the large bed of the guesthouse. Maybe leaving the Pack wouldn't be so bad; though I was still torn. I wanted to stay but I also wanted to leave. It was so confusing; and exhausting. I wondered if Nick might get suspicious if I ask him for the names of the people who left. If I could somehow contact them maybe they could tip the scales enough for me to make a decision. Stay or go.

I didn't sleep well that night despite the coziness of the guesthouse. The constant image of Logan flittered through my mind, waking me. I didn't feel right without Logan. Even when I thought of my life before him it seemed empty and meaningless; like I floated through existence without any real purpose. I never thought I'd think about someone like that.

The following morning I woke up early. I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the naked form of Drew making breakfast in the small kitchen. I quickly turned my back to him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my face turning hot.

"Oh. Good morning." I heard Drew say, "What's wrong?"

"Are you kidding? You're bare-assed my kitchen."

"_Your_ kitchen?"

"In a manner of speaking…" I said. "Why don't you have any clothes on?"

"I went for a run and forgot my stuff out there." He said. "If it's that big a deal I'll get a towel or something."

I walked into the bathroom grabbed a towel and came out again, covering my eyes this time, and threw the towel at him.

"Does it bother you that much?" He said then laughed. "You better get used to it. We do this all the time."

"Are you decent?" I asked.

"Yeah." He huffed. "Didn't Logan tell you about this?"

"That you'd be naked when I woke up this morning? No, he failed to mention."

"That we don't care about being out in the open like this. It's so much easier. At least that's what we do here." He shrugged his shoulders and went on cooking. "Do you want to go for a run after breakfast?"

"With you?"

"Why not?"

"Well, I mean, don't you get all…"

"Horny?" He had a humored smirk on his face. "I do, yes."

"So it probably wouldn't be a good idea that we run together."

"Oh, what? You afraid that you won't be able to keep your paws off me?" He said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and rummaged in the fridge for something to eat. I ended up making eggs too; well, I asked Drew to do it since he was already in the process. We sat in the breakfast nook and ate the mountains of food together.

"Has Logan called you yet?"

"No." I got a pang of worry in my stomach. "He was supposed to call me last night but he never did."

I hurried into the bedroom and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. No missed calls.

"Has he called the house at all?" I asked as I reentered the kitchen.

"Not that I know of." Drew shrugged. "Why the freak out?"

"What if something happened?"

"Nothing happened. He probably passed out in the hotel room. Give him a call."

I searched my address book and push the call button on Logan's number. It went straight to voicemail. I called Jeremy.

"Hello?" Jeremy's calming voice sounded over the line.

"It's Joslyn."

"Is everything alright?"

"Where is Logan? I never heard from him last night. He was supposed to call me."

"We picked up a scent as soon as we walked out of the airport. Logan, Katie and Elena all left to follow it."

"Have you heard anything from him?" I asked.

"Not yet. Logan is capable of taking care of himself. If he needs help he'll call us."

"Will you tell him to call me as soon as he can, please?"

"Of course." I could hear his hint of a smile.

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Drew was looking at me with a slightly confused but also amused look on his face.

"What?"

"He's a fucking werewolf." He said.

"The other guy is a werewolf too." I pointed out.

"Logan is _the_ werewolf."

I couldn't help but laugh a little but I needed to change the subject.

"Where's your mom?" I asked bluntly.

"I don't know. I never met her."

"Why?"

"Its Pack law, when a male is born he's taken and rose by the Pack."

"You guys take babies from their mothers?" That tipped the scales a little bit.

"Well they're compensated." Drew said, like it mattered.

"What about Elena?"

"She was already bitten and in the Pack when she had Logan and Katie."

I sat back in my chair in shock.

"What? It's not like we kill them or anything. We can't tell them that we're werewolves."

"But you take their babies! What if I got pregnant before I was bitten?" I asked.

"I'm sure Logan would have tried like hell to get you in but… if it was a boy he'd be Pack and we'd have to take him from you."

"This is some serious shit."

"Hey, I just live the life I don't make up the rules."

"But you've never met your mom?" I asked, apparently overly concerned; Drew brushed it off.

"I love my dad and Papa and Jeremy. They're all I've ever needed." I saw something in his eyes then, he looked lost.

"Don't you want a girlfriend?" I asked.

"I get girls."

"Oh I know you get girls. But you just sleep with them. Have you ever had an _actual_ relationship?"

"I can't have relationships in the sense that you think of them. We can't risk exposure."

"Ugh!" I let out the noise of frustration. "This is exactly why I want to leave. These _rules _are just ridiculous! I can't stand it."

"You want to leave?"

"Nevermind." I shook my head and walked from the room.

***R/R please.**


	20. Chapter 20

***Hey. My mini is back online so I hope to be updating more often now. Hope you like it.**

The next month of my life was the most difficult I'd ever faced, physically at least. I called my closest friends, namely Dara, and told her that I was going on a trip to Europe with Logan and wouldn't be back for a couple of months but would be sending the rent when it was due. It sucked lying to her but anyone who was looking for me would go to her first. Unfortunately, my boss wasn't as understanding. He gave me an ultimatum and I had to choose to stay where I was, as much as it hurt to let go of a job I loved so much. Logan was sympathetic and assured me I'd find another to love as much. It seemed my life was turned upside down.

After I was regularly in control of my Changes Jeremy let me out of Stonehaven little by little. First I went into town, then to Antonio's estate in New York City.

"This place is enormous." I said to Logan after a personal tour. "Why doesn't the whole pack live here; it's big enough."

"Stonehaven is Jeremy's home." Logan stopping back in the entrance hall where we'd started and looked at me carefully. "Listen, I have to take a trip. We've been having a lot of mutt activity in Florida."

"That's why you've been going to Florida? To deal with other werewolves?"

"Just one werewolf now." Logan said. "I've already killed his brothers."

"Can I go with you?" I asked.

"No. You'll stay here with Drew and Nick."

"Why can't I go?"

"If this guy finds out you exist he'll tell every other wolf he knows."

"They'll find out about me eventually."

"I don't want to share you so I'd rather you have some combat training under your belt before we tell the world about you." Logan smiled. "You'll stay here with Nick and Drew until we get back; they'll protect you."

"Who else is going?"

"My parents, Jeremy and Katie."

"Katie can go but I can't?"

"You've never seen Katie fight." Logan smiled.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"I don't know. We have to track him first and that could take…weeks if he knows what he's doing." Logan turned serious. "If he's anything like his brothers then we have some work ahead of us."

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I get back to Stonehaven." He said. "You're going to be staying in the guest house. I thought you'd be more comfortable there; it's not so empty. Nick is waiting for us out there."

Logan took my hand and pulled me toward the kitchen again but I held my ground. He turned back to me smiling.

"I really have to go, Joslyn." He said as I pulled him back to me.

"You tell me that you don't know when we'll see each other again and expect me to just let you walk out that door?" I smirked. "You know me better than that."

"It won't be as long as you think." He said stroking my cheek with his thumb and kissed me softly. "I can't stay away from you."

"Alright lovebirds." Nick's voice echoed through the hall. "Clayton's called me three times already. Logan, you gotta get your ass home."

"I was just bringing her out to the guest house." Logan said still looking at me.

"I think I should be the one to do that." Nick said. "Otherwise you won't get back 'til morning."

"I'll call you when we land." Logan said and kissed me.

I felt tears welling in my eyes but fought them back as Logan walked out the front door. I told myself over and over in my head that he would be back in my arms soon.

"Don't worry about him; we do these things all the time, doll."

"That doesn't make me feel better." I said to him.

"Logan is our strongest fighter." Nick looked like he took some pride in that. "He can hold his own against any werewolf out there. We all taught him everything we know; now he can take any of us down."

"Why is he so much stronger than any of you?"

"It comes with being a full blooded werewolf I guess."

"Were you bitten?"

"No."

"What about Jeremy?"

"Nope."

"So Clayton and Elena are the only ones who were?"

"And you. And a whole bunch of mutts out there."

I thought for a few minutes while following Nick outside to the guest house. It was almost dark now. The scent of the wet forest surrounded us. We stepped into the pool of light that was the front door and Nick waved me inside.

"Has anyone ever left the Pack?" I said before entering.

"Elena did for a while. Well, kind of. She was like an outside correspondent that Jeremy only called if he had to."

"Why did she leave?"

He shrugged. "It's a lot to deal with I guess."

"Yeah." I laughed a little. "How long have you been in the Pack?"

"My whole life."

"And no one's ever left, except Elena?"

"Well when Jeremy took over as Alpha a few people left; but that was all politics. I don't think anyone really _wanted_ to leave."

"What did Jeremy do to them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're not with the Pack then you're against it, right? Aren't there repercussions for leaving?"

"Jeremy's not like that. He didn't force their allegiance and he didn't act against them if they decided to leave."

"And that's why you have so much trouble with mutts, because you don't do anything to them."

"If they cause trouble we do."

"I don't think its working."

"Don't tell Jeremy that." Nick smiled.

I bid Nick goodnight and settled into the large bed of the guesthouse. Maybe leaving the Pack wouldn't be so bad; though I was still torn. I wanted to stay but I also wanted to leave. It was so confusing; and exhausting. I wondered if Nick might get suspicious if I ask him for the names of the people who left. If I could somehow contact them maybe they could tip the scales enough for me to make a decision. Stay or go.

I didn't sleep well that night despite the coziness of the guesthouse. The constant image of Logan flittered through my mind, waking me. I didn't feel right without Logan. Even when I thought of my life before him it seemed empty and meaningless; like I floated through existence without any real purpose. I never thought I'd think about someone like that.

The following morning I woke up early. I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the naked form of Drew making breakfast in the small kitchen. I quickly turned my back to him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my face turning hot.

"Oh. Good morning." I heard Drew say, "What's wrong?"

"Are you kidding? You're bare-assed my kitchen."

"_Your_ kitchen?"

"In a manner of speaking…" I said. "Why don't you have any clothes on?"

"I went for a run and forgot my stuff out there." He said. "If it's that big a deal I'll get a towel or something."

I walked into the bathroom grabbed a towel and came out again, covering my eyes this time, and threw the towel at him.

"Does it bother you that much?" He said then laughed. "You better get used to it. We do this all the time."

"Are you decent?" I asked.

"Yeah." He huffed. "Didn't Logan tell you about this?"

"That you'd be naked when I woke up this morning? No, he failed to mention."

"That we don't care about being out in the open like this. It's so much easier. At least that's what we do here." He shrugged his shoulders and went on cooking. "Do you want to go for a run after breakfast?"

"With you?"

"Why not?"

"Well, I mean, don't you get all…"

"Horny?" He had a humored smirk on his face. "I do, yes."

"So it probably wouldn't be a good idea that we run together."

"Oh, what? You afraid that you won't be able to keep your paws off me?" He said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and rummaged in the fridge for something to eat. I ended up making eggs too; well, I asked Drew to do it since he was already in the process. We sat in the breakfast nook and ate the mountains of food together.

"Has Logan called you yet?"

"No." I got a pang of worry in my stomach. "He was supposed to call me last night but he never did."

I hurried into the bedroom and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. No missed calls.

"Has he called the house at all?" I asked as I reentered the kitchen.

"Not that I know of." Drew shrugged. "Why the freak out?"

"What if something happened?"

"Nothing happened. He probably passed out in the hotel room. Give him a call."

I searched my address book and push the call button on Logan's number. It went straight to voicemail. I called Jeremy.

"Hello?" Jeremy's calming voice sounded over the line.

"It's Joslyn."

"Is everything alright?"

"Where is Logan? I never heard from him last night. He was supposed to call me."

"We picked up a scent as soon as we walked out of the airport. Logan, Katie and Elena all left to follow it."

"Have you heard anything from him?" I asked.

"Not yet. Logan is capable of taking care of himself. If he needs help he'll call us."

"Will you tell him to call me as soon as he can, please?"

"Of course." I could hear his hint of a smile.

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Drew was looking at me with a slightly confused but also amused look on his face.

"What?"

"He's a fucking werewolf." He said.

"The other guy is a werewolf too." I pointed out.

"Logan is _the_ werewolf."

I couldn't help but laugh a little but I needed to change the subject.

"Where's your mom?" I asked bluntly.

"I don't know. I never met her."

"Why?"

"Its Pack law, when a male is born he's taken and rose by the Pack."

"You guys take babies from their mothers?" That tipped the scales a little bit.

"Well they're compensated." Drew said, like it mattered.

"What about Elena?"

"She was already bitten and in the Pack when she had Logan and Katie."

I sat back in my chair in shock.

"What? It's not like we kill them or anything. We can't tell them that we're werewolves."

"But you take their babies! What if I got pregnant before I was bitten?" I asked.

"I'm sure Logan would have tried like hell to get you in but… if it was a boy he'd be Pack and we'd have to take him from you."

"This is some serious shit."

"Hey, I just live the life I don't make up the rules."

"But you've never met your mom?" I asked, apparently overly concerned; Drew brushed it off.

"I love my dad and Papa and Jeremy. They're all I've ever needed." I saw something in his eyes then, he looked lost.

"Don't you want a girlfriend?" I asked.

"I get girls."

"Oh I know you get girls. But you just sleep with them. Have you ever had an _actual_ relationship?"

"I can't have relationships in the sense that you think of them. We can't risk exposure."

"Ugh!" I let out the noise of frustration. "This is exactly why I want to leave. These _rules _are just ridiculous! I can't stand it."

"You want to leave?"

"No. Never mind." I shook my head and walked from the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**I called Logan every couple of hours. It went to voicemail every time. I couldn't believe how har it was to wait for him to call me back. I also called Jeremy. He didn't seem worried about it but he was also bery good at hiding his true feelings so that didn't make me feel better either. All I could do was wait. Even Jeremy started ignoring my calls. I let the day turn to might bfore I tried calling agin. Still no answer. Drew came around a couple of times barring food. I made it clear tht I wanted to be alone so he only stuck around to do the dishes for me. The girl who snagged him would be a lucky one; one day. I dozed to sleep at about eleven o'clock. It was the only thing I could do. **

**The morning came fast. I woke with a crick in my neck from sleeping at an odd angle. I went about my morning business; took a shower, ate a hearty breakfast while watching the news. My attentnion was ripped from the TV by a loud bang and the door flying open. Logan rushed into the house, looking around wildly. When his gaze landed on me I saw relief flood his face.**

"**We have to." He said taking me in his arms briefly then pushing me away.**

"**What's wrong?" I asked.**

"**I have to get ou out of here. He's here. Pablo's here."**

"**Who?"**

"**The guy we're after. He's in New York." Logan went into the bedroom, I followed. "Pack som stuff."**

"**Where are we going?" **

"**I don't know yet. I have to talk to Jeremy. He's making some calls." He grabbed my duffle bag and started emptying the dresser drawers into it. "I think he has some friends n Alaska or something."**

"**Alaska?"**

"**It'll just be until we find this guy. You'll be safe if you're away from him."**

"**Why? What does he have to do with me?" I asked.**

"**It's complicated."**

"**Logan." I said fiercely. "Tell me what's happening or I'm going to find this guy and ask **_**him."**_

"**Victore was his brother; the one who bit you."**

"**Yeah…"**

"**Well when you create a werewolf they sort of becomes **_**yours.**_** Like he would have explained all the rules to you, told ou about the pacl, probably would have turned you against us if he could." Logan stopped for a moment. "Pablo thinks it's his right to take the place of his brother; that he has all rights to you."**

"**That's silly. I'm my own person. I'm with you."**

"**I took you from Victor; even though he was dead. Now Pablo wants to claim what is rightfully his brother's."**

**I don't belong to anyone."**

"**That's not how it works."**

"**Are you kidding me? He can actually take me?"**

"**He's sure as hell going to try." Logan said.**

"**He took my hand and pulled me from the bedroom, through the kitchen and out the back door; toward the mansion.**

**Everyone was waiting in the library. Jeremy, Clay, Elena, Antonio, Nick, Drew, Katie and even a wolf I didn't know.**

"**Joslyn, I'd like you to meet Karl Marsten." Jeremy said.**

**Karl nodded his head once at me; I did the same.**

"**What's going on?" Logan asked.**

"**I'll be sending Joslyn to Alaska to stay with Dennis and Joe Stillwell." Jeremy said quietly.**

"**When are we leaving?" Logan asked.**

"**You're staying here, Logan."**

"**No, I'm going with her."**

"**We need you if we're going to find this guy." Elena said.**

"**I'm not putting her on a plane across the country by herself."**

"**Drew has already offered to take her." Jeremy said. "I trust that's good enough for you?"**

**Logan nodded. **

"**I thought no one knew yet?" I piped in. "Y'know about me."**

"**We may have a leak." Jeremy said, I could hear the disgust in his voice. "I'm sure it's no one in this room now but someone one of us told in confidence."**

"**What does he want me for anyway? I'm not special. I'm just a girl; I can't even fight." I added. Duh. "He just wants me because I'm a girl."**

"**You're a quick one." Katie laughed. "I'm too powerful and my mom's gotten too old. You're the only one he even has a chance at getting."**

"**All this just to breed and multiply?"**

"**There has to be more to it than that." Logan said. "We just haven't figured that out yet."**

"**Joslyn I want you to Change before you leave. I don't know how long it will be before you can next. Will you be alright?" Jeremy asked.**

"**Yeah." I nodded.**

"**Your tickets are waiting at the airport." Jeremy stood, as did everyone else. "we have to search the city He's probably not far from here. You all now the plan, let's find him."**

**Drew had already left the room. I stood, stunned with Logan.**

"**Don't worry. We'll find him." Logan said taking me in his arms.**

"**I'm not worried about me." I said. "Be careful. Don't go anywhere alone. Remember he's probably still pissed that you killed his whole family."**

"**I love you." He said mildly humored and kissed me.**

**With that my wolf was gone.**

**Drew called a cab to take us to the airport. He sat as far away from me as possible. A far cry from the morning he made me breakfast. He stared out the window not really looking at anything.**

"**You alright?" I asked him.**

"**Yeah. Just thinking about some stuff." He didn't look at me.**

"**Are you going to be flying back here right after we land in Alaska?" I asked**

"**I'll stay a couple of days."**

"**Oh."**

**He didn't seem like he was interested in the conversation so I looked out my own window as well. The whole trip went like that. It was like he was avoiding me; it made me uneasy. But my nervousness about meeting these new wolves overrode that. What were they considered to be? Pack or Mutt? Or just correspondants like Elena was? I'd have to wait and find out.**

**Wher wer stepped into the cold air of Anchorage I felt goose bumps pop up all over me. I wasn't used to this cold and only brought a sweatshirt for cover.**

"**C'mon." Drew said nodding toward an idling cab.**

"**Aren't they meeting us here?" I asked.**

"**No." He said flatly. I followed hi. He handed the driver a piece of paper when we were both in the car. "take us there please."**

"**You aure? There's nothing over there but--."**

"**I'm sure. Thank you." Drew seemed on edge now; almost anxious.**

"**Drew, what's going on?"**

"**Nothing." He said sharply.**

"**I shut my mouth. There was something defiately wrong. I pulled my cell phone from me pocket and turned it on. When Drew heard the tune of the phone activating he ripped it from my hand.**

"**Not yet." He said only softly enough for me to hear.**

"**What? Why?"**

**He motioned toward the cab driver. I didn't get it. It was a cab driver, they hear people's phone calls all day long. Maybe Drew was just extra paranoid today; he was acting really weird after all.**

**It was a long drive. WE went through the city and into an industrail district. I thought maybe it was the way out of town but when the cab stopped in from of a rusty-looking warehouse my heart started pumping faster and I began to wonder what was gong on.**

"**C'mon." Drew's voice was detached, sad**

"**This is where we're meeting them?" I asked foolishly.**

"**He didn't answer, just led the way through a rusted door. I looked back as the cab took off back toward the airport. I stepped into the moldy stink that was coming from the doorway and into a cavernous room. Drew was already sitting on a beaten couch. I took the seat next to him but he immediately stood up.**

"**Drew, what's happening? You're acting really weird."**

"**Do you miss not having to Change?" It was a blunt question that I wasn't expecting.**

"**I donno." I shrugged.**

"**Don't you want to be human again?"**

**I had to think about that one. Being human again would mean that I'm not a werewolf and the only way I can be with Logan is if I'm a werewolf.**

"**No." I a shook my head.**

**He looked away from me. I couldn't tell if he was angry. With a loud bang the door shot open. I had not time to react. I saw a gun and panicked bit it was fired before I even made a move. I felt the shot in my leg but it wasn't a bullet; it was a dart. Tranquilizer. I immediately felt dizzy; my mind clouded. I saw Drew's sad face and another that held a satisfied smile. Then everything went black.**

*I started a crossover. Don't know if anyone is interested in it though. Check it out: .net/s/5457529/1/Running_with_Wolves

Review!


	22. Chapter 22

I woke with a pounding headache. Ugh, not again. I pressed my cheek against the cold concrete floor. I remembered Drew and cursed him inside my head. I wondered if he was the one who leaked that I was now a wolf. Probably. Now I just wanted to know why. I looked around the room. The soft glow of sunlight peeked through the holes of a paper covered window. The room was furnished with a large bed, couch, television and kitchenette. It was like a college dorm room. Two doors led elsewhere; my escape route hopefully. I silently got to my feet, immediately lost my balance and fell to the floor again. The doorknob turned on the door closest to me and it flew open. A man in his late thirties stood in the doorway, looking down at me. A smile gleamed across his face in what was an attempt as a warm greeting. I panicked a little on the inside. His face was familiar and I knew this must be the lost brother that the Pack was having so much trouble finding; but in Alaska? Again, Drew must have had something to do with that. If I ever saw Drew again I would rip his throat out.

"I'm glad you're awake." He had a Spanish accent and a silky voice. "You must be hungry."

I hadn't thought about it until he mentioned it, sending my stomach into a growling fit.

"You're Pablo Ortiz aren't you?" I asked, my voice surprisingly harsh.

"Yes, I am." He smiled. "Logan must have told you I was looking for you."

"Where's Drew?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm sure he'll join us when he's ready to face you." He smiled. "There is someone else I would like you to meet though. Jackson!"

A tall man walked into the room. He was dressed in a suit and tie.

"Joslyn, this is Jackson McCloud of the McCloud Cabal. He's a sorcerer" Ortiz introduced us like we were meeting for lunch. "He's going to be helping me with the change back to human."

"What?" I decided this was the time to panic a little.

"And after we make Drew human he wants us to wipe his memory clean of everything to do with the Pack."

"What?" I said slowly.

"Joslyn." I heard Drew from the door. "Let me explain."

I bolted toward him. Something pulled on my ankle stopping my attack on him. I looked back down at my foot. A chain strung along the floor behind me going under the bed. But that wasn't the matter at hand.

"You stupid bastard!" I yelled at Drew. "What did you do?"

"Joslyn please calm down." Drew still didn't come within my grasp.

The other men stood by looking amused.

"You wanna help me out here?" Drew looked to them.

I was suddenly jerked backward and crashed into the wall. It crumpled slightly behind me.

"Don't hurt her!" Drew yelled. "Can't you stun her or something?"

"You didn't say that." Jackson said matter-of-factly.

I felt woozy and collapsed onto the floor. When I tried to move my body didn't respond. I was paralyzed.

"Please just listen to me Joslyn." Drew crouched down in front of me. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be a wolf. This guy can make us human. You could be a normal human again if you wanted to. I know you said that you don't but think about it. No more Changes, no more Pack, no more boundaries. We can date whoever we want. Marry whoever we want."

I couldn't respond or stop him from speaking so he went on.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything for them? You'd change your whole life to be with them? I can't have her in my life if I'm a werewolf and I can't live without her." Drew went on. "I heard about someone who could change us back into humans. Even alter our memories so we don't remember ever being werewolves or that they even exist."

"Drew." I finally breathed; the sorcerer's magic was wearing off. "How could you do this?"

"Don't do that to me Joslyn." He said. "If there was any other way I would have done it."

"What about Logan? And Nick and Antonio? What about Jeremy?"

"There are some things more important than the Alpha."

"I know that." I said through my teeth.

"Then you understand why I did this."

"You've killed me for some girl?" I asked. "My life is somehow less significant than hers? Did it occur to you that I'm that girl to Logan? Imagine losing her, imagine her being taken away by your cousin, your best friend. Does he even know yet?"

"I told him we were ambushed at the airport." He seemed to genuinely feel bad about the whole thing. "I said they took you and drugged me and left me in an alley somewhere in Anchorage."

So Logan must be here looking for me.

"You know it won't be long before they find us then. If they're here looking for me."

"You're not in Alaska anymore Joslyn."

"That's enough Drew." I heard a voice back at the door. I was Ortiz again. "The spell will be wearing off soon; you might want to get yourself out of here."

"Drew, tell me where we are." I pleaded as he stood, I started getting feeling in my fingers again.

"Arizona." He said and left.

The door closed behind him, locking several times and taking on a few spells from the sorcerer, I'm sure. When I regained all the feeling in my body I tried the door despite myself, it didn't budge. So this was it, this was to be my demise. I certainly wasn't going to use that bed what I knew that werewolf intended it to be used for. I dragged the chain behind me into the kitchen area. The fridge was fully stocked; not that I'd be eating anything. I could make it into the bathroom alright, always a good thing. I walked up to the window next and ripped of the black out paper covering it. The sun beat hot on my skin. Drew didn't lie this time; I looked at a flat plain of dirt and dust. I tried putting my fist through the window pane but only succeeded in crushing the bones in my knuckles. This was all protected by magic.

I fell asleep on the floor under the window and woke up to the clicking of the locks on the door. Ortiz came in and closed the door behind him. He held a bag in his hand and headed straight for the fridge, emptying the contents of the bag into it.

"You haven't eaten." Ortiz noticed. "You should eat."

I didn't respond.

"What shall I tell your Logan? That you're starving yourself to death?"

"You leave him alone. You got me so just leave them all alone now." I huffed. "If you're going to kill me I wish you'd get it over with."

"Kill you?" Ortiz laughed. "It was never my intention to kill you."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know his true intentions.

"You're friend Drew. He'll have no memory of being a werewolf. It's quite a unique spell that sorcerer has come up with."

"So what you're going to turn me into a human too? Make me forget about all of this?"

"Not turn you into a human." He smiled. "But you will forget. You'll forget all about Logan and the Pack."

I couldn't even imagine it.

"You'll be mine to mold into whatever I please." He seemed to be daydreaming now. "And of course, you'll fall into my arms. I'll be the only one who knows what's happening to you. I'll be the only one who comes to your aid."

"I won't forget him." I said shakily.

He smiled and threw a phone at me. I caught it before it hit the floor.

"You have two minutes on that phone. I hope you remember your lover's phone number."

He closed the door, locking it again. I scrambled to dial the number. It rang only once before I heard Logan's voice. I wanted to savor it.

"It's me." I whispered.

"Joslyn! Where are you?" Logan voice was worried.

"With Ortiz. I'm in Phoenix."

'What? How?"

"I don't have time." I said. "Logan, I love you."

"I love you too." He said. "We'll fly to Phoenix. We'll find you, I promise."

"It'll be too late. I don't want you to get hurt too."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's got a plan, just please remember that I love you and I will always love you no matter what happens. I love you."

"I know, baby. I love you too. Please tell me what's going on."

"He's got a sorcerer."

"What Cabal?"

"McCloud, Jackson. He came up with this spell that can take away memories. I won't remember you if you come here."

He let out a breath. "Joslyn."

"I love you. I'll try not to forget." I said and the line went dead.

I knew Logan would come despite my pleas not to. I could only hope that he got through safely and killed this bastard who was holding me.

It happened the following morning. The locks clinked as they opened and the door swept over the floor revealing the two men. Ortiz was dressed nicely enough in a button down shirt and black slacks, like he was on his way home from the office. The sorcerer was dressed in a suit, just like the last time I saw him. My whole body tensed with fear. The sorcerer approached me, reciting words I couldn't have even guessed at. The last thing I saw was the smug smile on Ortiz's face, I damned him to hell before my eyes went unseeing and I fell to the floor.

***Sorry this took so long. I've been working on a crossover, as some of you may know, and I've really been struggling with this one. Some serious writter's block happening here. I'll try to find my muse again and keep adding as often as possible. Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading! Review Please!**


	23. Chapter 23

_***OK I don't know if this is going to be a confusing chapter. These are happening at the same time. I tried something new and wrote from Logan's POV first then Joslyn's. I hope you like it. REVIEW!!!!**_

_Logan POV_

I sat on the plane next to my family, fidgeting and on the brink of tears. This was something I couldn't handle. Joslyn was in Phoenix, Arizona having her memory sucked out of her head by a maniac mutt and an asshole sorcerer. She said she'd try to remember me. Her words echoed in my head again, _I love you._ _I'll try to remember you._ I was going to tear that mutt to pieces. I felt the temperature in my head rising with my anger. It didn't go unnoticed. Katie put her hand on mine bringing me back to the plane. She smiled at me when I looked over. I took a deep breath. She handed me two pills she'd taken from the medicine cabinet at home. I refused it; I wanted to be clear of mind when I faced this mutt.

It was the longest plane ride I'd ever taken. And the situation took its toll on my mind. I was nearly mad now with rage and hate. I had to keep my head or Jeremy and Dad would never let me fight. I put everything I had into being the least bit civil with the stewardess' as we exited the plane. Everything was so long and drawn out, the longest hallways, the biggest airport, the lengthiest cab ride. I swear I was ready to rip the receptionists head off for taking so long to check us into the hotel.

We all gathered in Jeremy's room to map out the city and devise a plan.

"Clay and Katherine, I want you to scout the area surrounding the airport and when Karl gets here he'll join you. Elena, Logan and I will meet you back here and we'll split into pairs to cover more ground." Jeremy said after rolling out a map of Phoenix and turned to me. "We'll start searching locally and expand when Karl arrives."

"How long will that take?" I asked from the window.

"He should be here in a couple of hours."

"We can't wait that long." I said now pacing. "I need to get out there and find her."

"Logan," Mom stood from the bed and took a step toward me. "I don't want to be the one to tell you this but you know that it's probably already too late. We might just be recovering--."

I punched through the drywall and leaned my head against it. The straw that broke the camel's back.

"She's not dead." I growled. "She's not dead!"

"Logan." Katherine put her hand on my back. She was the only one who could calm me when I was like this…except maybe Joslyn. "We can't just dive into this; we need to plan first and prepare. If we don't it'll just take longer."

I knew she was right but I couldn't fight the urge to get out there and start searching for Joslyn's scent.

"Katie's right. We all want this mutt torn to pieces," Dad said, "he killed Dennis and Joe and now he's messing with Joslyn. We can't just go in a murder him no matter how much we want to."

I looked at him incredulously.

"If he's really wiped out Joslyn's memory and we rip his head off what do you think she's going to do? She'll have no idea who we are or why we just killed the man who was with her when she woke up from this… coma or whatever she'd been in. We don't want her to be afraid of us if there's any chance of recovering what was lost."

"Have we heard back from Paige and Lucas yet?" Jeremy asked mom.

"Not yet, no." She shook her head.

"Let's get started." Jeremy said and we all hurried out the door.

I was thankful that my family came out here to help me find Joslyn. I didn't expect them to but wasn't surprised when the offered their help. Joslyn was Pack after all. We split into our groups and search for a scent. Any time I smelled the scent of a rose or fallen leaves I'd follow it but it always ended up being the real thing. Joslyn smelled like a fall day to me. Crisp, fresh, renewing. I almost lost it just thinking about her scent. We searched for hours, covering a few miles but nothing turned up. When Dad called saying Karl had arrived we went back to the hotel and split again after telling Karl the plan. I was paired with Jeremy. I might have been able to get away with losing control with anyone else but not with him, and he knew that.

"We'll take the car to the east side of the city where we were heading before and search for their scents around that area. If nothing turns up we'll head over to this industrial area and search there."

"Yeah. I nodded getting into the driver's seat of the rental car.

It took forever, just like everything else. We parked in a vacant lot in the eastern part of the city. Not a real pretty site but I didn't care where the mutt was keeping her just that he gave her up when I found them.

The hours ticked by so slowly I could have sworn the clock was going backwards. As we passed by a Mexican market I caught it. So did Jeremy; we both looked at each other. It was a recent trail, probably in the last few hours. Jeremy immediately got on the phone to call the others and tell them our location. I wasn't waiting for them. I was ready to follow that scent right up to the door and knock it down to kill that mutt.

"Everyone's on their way. Let's see where this trail goes."

We followed it heading south then turned east down an alleyway. That's when I smelled Joslyn and blood. I rushed over to a crevasse where the smell was strongest. She'd been laying there; her blood still stained the concrete. I let out a fierce growl that echoed off the walls. Jeremy grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull me from my rage. Joslyn was hurt somewhere. I rushed to follow the scent further. It only went on for twenty more yards before I came to a black door.

"Stop." Jeremy said before I could rip it off its hinges. "We should wait for the others. You don't know who might be up there."

"Joslyn is up there." I said fighting to keep control over my voice.

"Yes and apparently she has no idea who you are. You'll frighten her. You don't know what he's been telling her. I have no doubt he's turned her against the Pack and the moment she finds out who we are she might try something stupid."

I took a deep breath. I couldn't even imagine seeing Joslyn doing something to endanger the Pack.

"So we stay here. At least if Ortiz comes out we'll have a chance to catch him."

I leaned against the wall next to the entrance and waited. It was only an hour before anything happened. A window on the third floor shattered, sending the glass crashing to the ground. It was only seconds later that the front door burst open. There she was. Filled with fear and a little bloodied but still so beautiful. I held my arms open as she ran at me. Our eyes met and hers went even wider with fear.

"Joslyn." I said trying to remember that she didn't know me. It crushed my heart. "I'm Logan."

She ran down the street.

_Joslyn POV_

My head was killing me. I blinked my eyes open and felt a surge of panic. Where am I? I didn't remember much of the night before. Had I been drinking?

"Don't be afraid." A silky Hispanic voice behind me said.

I turned to see a dark skinned man approaching me. I backed into a wall.

"I know this is a little weird. I just wanted to help." He said carefully. "I found you in the alley last night. Do you remember what happened?"

"No." I shook my head.

"It was the Pack."

"The Pack?" I asked confused.

"Don't tell me that bastard didn't warn you about the Pack?"

"Who?"

"My brother." He explained. "My brother was the one who created you, made you a werewolf. Don't you remember?"

I shook my head. I didn't remember much now that I thought about it.

"Ah. It's just like him to leave a girl to fend for herself. The American Wolf Pack. They're the ones who beat you up last night. If I hadn't come along I think they might have killed you."

"Why would they want to kill me?" I asked.

"Because you're like me; you're mutt."

"That doesn't make sense." I said. "I didn't do anything."

"It doesn't matter. They hunt us down and kill us because we live differently from them. They killed both my brothers." He heaved a sigh looking sad. "I'm just glad that I happened to be in the area when they attacked you. I can't stand that they'll kill an innocent girl just for living."

I curled my legs up to my chest and held myself. It was unnerving knowing someone had a vendetta against me.

"That Logan. He's vicious. He was hitting you and hitting you." He got the shivers and shook it off. "I can't wait to meet him alone in a dark alley one night."

"Thank you." I said to him and held my hand out. "My name is Joslyn."

"I'm Pablo Ortiz." He smiled and shook my hand.

He made me breakfast. I was so hungry. But I was also still so confused. It was like there were holes in my memories. Pablo said it might have been from getting hit in the head or when I fell to the ground. I knew I couldn't go to the hospital, they'd ask too many questions and being a werewolf made some of them hard to answer. Like why my DNA was different from a human's.

Pablo suggested I take a shower and gave me a pair of sweatpants and tshirt to wear. I made it long and hot. I just wanted everything to fit inside my head again. I spent most of the rest of the day keeping to myself. Pablo went about his business around me. It wasn't until the late afternoon that I got the familiar itch telling me that I needed to Change.

"Is there a certain place that you go to Change?" I asked.

"Yes. Do you need to? I can take you there."

"I can't ask any more of you Pablo, you've already done so much."

"Do you think I'm going to let you go out there alone? Not with those vicious bastards still out there."

"They're still out there?"

"Biding their time." Pablo nodded. "They don't ever really give up. But if you lay low for a while usually they'll get distracted by another mutt on the other side of the country."

"So I shouldn't go out?"

"You _have_ to go out but only for a short time and we'll have to do it very late. Hopefully they're not keeping surveillance."

I swallowed hard.

"I won't let anything happen to you." He assured me.

I smiled at him and nodded.

We left in the dead of night. Pablo brought me to a park in the middle of the city. It wasn't like running through the woods but it would scratch the itch. I rushed my Change which only made it take longer. When I finally walked from the bushes Pablo was waiting for me patiently. We ran together. It was quick but refreshing even though the park was small. We had to avoid being seen by some night time runners and dog walkers; the dogs went crazy. When Pablo took me back to the place we'd Changed I knew it was time to get back to his apartment. I thought at first that it was going to be difficult to Change back because I really didn't want to but I was so much more relaxed that it came easily; as easily as it _can_ come.

"I'm sorry I had to cut that short. I thought I smelled a member of the Pack."

"They're out here?" I panicked.

"I don't know but I think we should go back just to be safe."

I agreed and we quickly walked back to his apartment. I wasn't sure in the darkness but I could have sworn I saw him smiling as we walked through the door. I took a seat on the couch and curled my knees to my chest.

"Is there anything I can get for you? There may be some left overs from earlier." Pablo asked.

"I'm fine. Thank you." I said.

"If I'm making you uncomfortable please tell me."

"Oh, no. You've been so kind. I don't think anyone has ever been as kind to me as you have." I said and shook my head. "I'm just still feeling like there are holes in my memory. Everything is confusing."

"Ah." He nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner to help you."

"Oh, Pablo I didn't mean it like that. I'm so thankful that you've helped me so much. I don't think I'd be here if you hadn't come along."

"Those bastard Pack wolves." He said quietly. "I will make them pay."

The next morning I woke up to Pablo making noise in the kitchen. He seemed on edge.

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"It's the Pack, they're here." He said rather matter-of-factly.

"What?" I panicked

"They're outside waiting." He smiled. "Don't worry they're just trying to scare us."

I didn't know what to say. Should I got out there and confront them or just hide? It wasn't like me to hide from something and I was putting this poor man in danger because he wanted to help me. It was a struggle but ultimately I decided that I had to face them and either reason with them or face what they decided to do with me. I took a shower, changed into my fresh clothes and headed back to the kitchen where Pablo was sitting down to his breakfast.

"I'm going out there." I said confidently.

He dropped his fork. "You can't go out there."

"I have to face them sometime. I can't hide anymore." I shook my head. "Thank you so much for everything Pablo, hopefully I'll see you again."

"But they'll kill you, right out in the street. You won't ever make it out the door."

"I'm actually hoping they'll give me a moment to try to make a peace offering. I don't want to fight them; I just want to live my life."

"They're arrogant! You won't get one word in."

"I have to try."

"No!" he said it so dominantly that I became startled. "You're not leaving this apartment."

He moved in front of the door. I backed away. He completely changed in that single instant. He went from being a friend to being a captor. I was suddenly trapped by him and I didn't like it.

"Pablo let me go." I was cautious when speaking. I wasn't so sure about him all of a sudden.

"You're not going anywhere."

He was angry. I didn't know what to do.

"Why?"

"You're mine; fair and square. He stole you from me so I stole you back."

"What?" I asked confused.

He lunged at me. I ducked away from him. I made for the door but he grabbed me and slammed me against the wall; so much for friendship. I kicked him down with all my might but when I jumped over him back to the door he grabbed my foot and I went sailing to the floor. When I turned onto my back he was standing over me.

"I should just kill you. You're not worth all this." His face a twisted with disgust; he was a completely different person.

When he came down on me I was only just quick enough to put my feet up and launch him away from me. He hit the window making it shatter. He fell to the floor limp and bleeding. I took off out the door. I was out the front door in seconds but then faced my next problem. There they were, two of them at least. I almost ran straight into one of them. He was taller than me and had blond cropped curls but that wasn't what I noticed first. His eyes were crystal blue, his jaw angular, his chin squared. He was perfect. But he wanted to kill me so I had to get away from him as fast as I could; not to mention the possible dead body in the apartment I just left. I took off down the street praying he wouldn't follow me.


	24. Chapter 24

I got away, amazingly. The blonde bombshell stopped following me after about a half mile. I didn't stop to breathe. I had to get as far away from them as possible. If what Pablo said was true, I was already dead. That made me think a little harder. Hadn't Pablo just tried to kill me himself? How could I trust what he said when it's obvious he's been putting on a show for me just to gain my trust? And _why_ did he want to gain my trust? I didn't know what to think anymore. When my lung started to hurt I stopped. I was in the middle of the city. People around me were looking at me strangely. I move into an alley so I could sit down. This was all too much. What was happening? Everything was so confusing; these holes in my memory were driving me insane. Maybe I should go back and find the Pack, either I'd be facing death or facing the rest of my life. I was torn and I knew this would take some time to figure out but that's one thing I didn't have a lot of. They'd find me eventually.

That night I holed up in an alley. I was exhausted; both mentally and physically. I knew the nights got chilly around here so I stole a sweatshirt I saw on the back of an empty chair on the patio of a restaurant. Not something I was proud of but I needed it more than he did. It smelled of an odd cologne and body odor, obviously it hadn't been washed for a while. I curled up in a corner between a wall and pile of garbage and closed my eyes. Yes, it smelled horrible but I sat there in hopes that the horrible garbage smell would cover up my scent and if they came close they'd be put off by it and move on. Not that I got any sleep at all anyway. It was cold and smelly and I didn't have any more sense of security here than I did out in the middle of the street but I convinced myself somehow that this was safer than say staying in the park. My next move was to get out of Phoenix.

I woke to shouting. The sun was up. Wow, I'd actually gotten a little sleep. I uncurled myself from the crunched position I was in and stretched my sore muscles. When I stood up and started down the alley I stopped dead in my tracks. A werewolf stood leaning against the wall at the opening to the street.

"Don't panic." He said calmly in a southern drawl I felt familiar with. "We're not going to hurt you."

"That's not what _he _said."

"Ortiz?" a smiled touched his lips. "He's the one behind all this."

"Behind what?" I asked backing into the wall.

"Why you don't remember us. Why you don't remember Logan. You're really tearing that kid apart, y'know?"

"No I don't." I said dryly. The next question was too tempting not to ask. "I should remember you?"

"It's been nearly a year now. I should think you'd know me very well by now." He said kicking off the wall and walking toward me.

"I don't know if I can trust you." I shook my head. "You could kill me right now."

"That's very true. But I haven't." He pointed out as he got closer until we were almost nose to nose.

I got very nervous but stood tall, trying to convince myself I was brave enough not to piss my pants. He spoke the truth. I had no idea how to fight and he could have easily broken my neck by now.

"Let me talk to your Alpha."

He backed off a little. "That's all I wanted to hear."

He took me to a hotel in another part of the city. My stomach was all in knots and I felt like I might vomit, thankfully I didn't. I felt unusually claustrophobic in the elevator. OK, if he were going to kill me that would have been the time. He led me to the last door on the top floor and knocked softly. My heart began to race and the door cracked open to a single eye peering out, then it opened more widely to let us in. It was a woman behind the door; tall, blond and confident. She closed the door behind me as I took in the scene in the room, seven werewolves in a twelve by twelve space. I saw the handsome blond bombshell from earlier standing next to the window. He looked like he wanted to wrap his arms around me but he stayed where he was; I could see behind his eyes that staying away from me was giving him some trouble.

"Joslyn, please sit down." A dark eyed man who radiated "Alpha," said motioning to the chair across from him; I remembered him from outside the apartment building. "I know this must be very confusing but please trust that we do not want to harm you in any way."

"I know there's something wrong with me; I have holes in my memories." It burst from my mouth and started pouring out before I could stop it. "I know that something should be there but it just isn't. I remember my parents, my grandparents, college, work… Mark. Then it gets patchy. I don't remember how I became a werewolf but I know it happened. I don't know how I know how to control it. Ortiz said he found me beat up in an alley and they you were the ones who did it. But I don't remember that, I don't remember there being a pack at all. I feel like I should know things that I don't know."

"We're going to try to help you." The Alpha said. "I'm Jeremy. This is Clayton." He turned to the blond from the alley, "This is Elena." She was the one who opened the door, "Katherine." She was as tall as Elena and as beautiful but didn't radiate that confidence. "Karl." He was handsome and dark but looked nothing like any of the others. "And this is Logan." I looked at his eyes again; they were filled with sorrow and angst but within that I could see longing and love.

"You were my mate weren't you?" I asked him.

Everyone seemed to be taken by surprise.

"Do you remember?" Jeremy asked.

"No. The way he looks at me. He loves me." I said. "I'm sorry I don't remember, I can see how much it hurts you."

He looked back out the window, fighting to keep his composure.

"We're trying our hardest to figure out a way to get back the things you lost." Jeremy said. "As you can see, you are very important to us all."

"I'll try anything." I said still looking at Logan. "I just want this emptiness to go away."

Jeremy contacted the sorcerer he knew in Portland. Somehow we go a private jet for the flight and we were there by the end of the day. I was anxious. I didn't know what they were going to do to me or if any of this would even work. I thought it strange that we were riding into a very suburban area and pulled up to a yellow house with a picket fence. It was so normal. We all got out of the giant SUV they'd rented and walked to the front door of the house.

"Jeremy." A tall, dark, handsome man opened the door and took Jeremy's hand. "Please some inside."

He showed us all in. It was quaint and homey. Not what I expected of a sorcerer. A stout, pretty woman came into the entryway holding a small child.

"Hello." She smiled brightly. "Jeremy, Elena, Clay how are you? Gosh, it's been so long since I've seen the twins, you're all grown up now."

"Hi, Paige." Elena said, then turned her attention to the child. "And hello little Anthony. You're absolutely adorable."

"Makes you want to have more doesn't it?" Paige asked.

"We did our share of baring and raising children." Clay said. "I think the twins scarred us enough."

"Paige, this is Joslyn." Jeremy said guiding me to the front of the group.

"Oh. Joslyn. We've been working on a spell since we heard. This is like nothing we've ever heard of, Lucas even called his father."

"We should be hearing from the McCloud Cabal in a few days. They're not powerful enough to stand against us but it may take some time to find Jackson; seems he's been missing for a few weeks." Lucas added.

"You're all welcome to stay as long as you need to. We have plenty of room in the basement and there's a national park just a few miles away." Paige said.

"Thank you Paige, Lucas but we'll be staying at the local Holiday Inn." Jeremy said. "We've already made the reservations."

"Of course." Paige smiled, this all seemed to be formalities.

"Hey, Anthony do you want to come outside with me and we can play in the sandbox?" Elena said to the little boy.

He nodded vigorously and Elena took him from Paige and left the entry way. Clayton mumbled something about Elena getting ideas and followed after her. It was just me, Logan and Jeremy with Paige and Lucas.

"How serious is it?" Lucas asked Jeremy.

"She doesn't remember us at all." Jeremy answered. "She says she can remember things before she was bitten, but not being bitten and it's very patchy after that."

"So he blocked certain memories or memories containing certain people." Lucas said. "Namely the Pack."

"So it seems." Jeremy said then turned to me. "How have you been feeling, Joslyn?"

"If you're wondering what I remember, the answer is still nothing." I said.

"I wish it was that simple. Time won't make a difference. We need to try and recover the memories or what's left of them from her subconscious mind. Hopefully Jackson wasn't being thorough when he wiped these memories clear."

Logan," Jeremy turned to him. "Why don't you take Joslyn and get us all something to eat. It might end up being a long night."

Logan looked somewhat pained at this request by his alpha. I didn't know what Jeremy was trying to accomplish by making Logan take me around, it just seemed to torture him.

We walked out to the rental and climbed inside. He opened and closed the door for me, no one ever did that for me. When he slid into the driver's seat I looked away from him deliberately. I didn't want to see the pain in his eyes that he held whenever he looked at me. It was too much for me to handle.

"What do you want to eat?"

"It doesn't matter." I said quietly.

"Do you want some coffee or something?" He asked. "You look tired."

"Yeah, that'd be good."

He swung the car into a coffee shop parking lot.

"I'll have a Fr--."

"French Vanilla extra cream two sugars." Logan interrupted me opening the car door. "I know."

My heart ached when his eyes left mine. What was I doing to him? He was absolutely crushed and I was the cause of it. When he got back in the car and handed me the coffee I turned to him still unsure of what I would say.

"Why is he doing this to you?" I asked, almost pleading with him.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I can see that just looking at me hurts you. I don't want to hurt you."

"I think Jer is hoping that being with me will spark up your memory." He said quietly. "Please don't worry about me Joslyn. I just want you to get better; I'll do anything to help that."

"But every time I look in your eyes I want to cry." I retorted. "I can see you love me and I don't know why I don't love you too. I know I should but I don't."

"I hope with all my heart that you will again."

He started driving again and I stared back out the window. I wished with everything that I had that this witch and sorcerer were coming up with a spell to solve all this.

When we got back to Lucas and Paige's house the rest of the Pack were on a run. I suggested that Logan go do the same but he didn't want to. I suspected that he just didn't want to be away from me. The day turned into night before everyone got back. Jeremy checked in on Lucas who was slaving away at a solution to our problem but he'd made no headway. I was tempted to just walk away from them all; just leave it where it was and let them forget about me. Then I figured I might as well let the sorcerer give it a try before I abandoned them.

"I think you should stay here tonight." Jeremy said to me, privately. "With Logan."

"You can't keep doing this to him." I said heatedly. "It's tearing him apart. Do you know what I see every time I look at him? You're torturing him. The sorcerer says there's no point in me being with Logan, it won't help things. Stop doing this to him."

"I don't insist that he stay with you. He does. He won't leave you alone for fear of losing you again." Jeremy explained. "You have to understand that before you came into his life, he was lost. He had no desire to go anywhere or do anything. He was content in being a protector for his Pack."

"What's so wrong with that?" I asked.

"He was empty and you gave him life."

I looked down at my hands. "I may have been that for him once but now I'm just causing him pain and I can't do it anymore."

"Maybe you should try talking to him. Have him tell you about the things you used to do together. You never know, it may bring something back that you've been missing."

I swallowed hard as Jeremy stood and left. I wasn't sure that I was ready to listen to what my life was like when I was so endlessly in love with Logan.

After the Pack left and little Anthony was in bed Paige and Lucas invited us into the living room for a glass of wine. We mostly made small talk. They told us about local landmarks and attractions. Told us stories of when they'd gone to those places. It was boring, to be honest. I was almost relieved when they decided to go to bed. They showed us to the basement where they kept a den/guest bedroom.

"Are you tired?" I asked Logan, sitting on the couch and turning the TV on.

"No. Not really."

"Jeremy said I should talk to you." I said quickly, as if it would hurt less.

"I know I heard him." Logan said sitting at the opposite end of the couch. "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. Anything."

He paused and a slight smile appeared on his sullen face. "Every moment I spend with you is the greatest moment in my life. The first time I saw you, I remember you were with Mark... you looked so pissed. I didn't even know what I was doing. I just walked up to you and told him he was in my seat. He about pissed his pants, I think." That's when Logan laughed for the first time. It was beautiful seeing the smile spread across his face and seeing him jostle with laughter. But then he got sad again. "The first time you told me you love me. It was Christmas. You got drunk at my parents house."

I couldn't help but smiled as he reminisced.

"I remember when he bit you. Part of me was… so happy that I could finally give myself to you, fully." He had tears in his eyes and I moved closer to him. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you then… but you made it through the Change. I thought we were going to be together forever."

"Logan." I said, tears welling in my eyes, until they finally spilled over. "I'm so sorry."

He did what I think he would have done if I were who I was supposed to be. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. It was so comforting and so comfortable to be in his arms. I started to wonder if I actually did remember what it was like to be with him.

***Please review! Is anyone still reading this??**


	25. Chapter 25

***I know this has taken like forever to write! I lost it with this story for a long time and started doing other things but I'm back on it and hopefully I can stay on it. I hope I make everyone happy with what I got out. R/R please. let me know what you think.**

Logan and I spent every waking moment together. It got easier to be with Logan. After a few days he was actually smiling. On one of the few occasions that I wasn't with him, I was with Katherine sitting in the witch and sorcerer's house. She thought I could use a break from her brother, but in truth I think she wanted to be close to me again too. She too reminisced about the days of yore.

"You were half in the bag when I got there and made a total fool of yourself." She laughed loudly. "I had no idea you would be there so you can imagine how shock I was to walk into a restaurant to have lunch with my brother and his drunk girlfriend."

"That definitely sounds like me." I nodded.

There were a few moments of silence before Katherine plunged into another story. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if there was no solution to my memory problem. I was obviously considered a member of their Pack; their family but I couldn't say that I reciprocated those feelings of love. Not yet.

"I took you down so fast." She finished. "We really should start on that combat training. That's probably the reason for this whole mess."

"What?"

"No one ever taught you how to fight; if we had you probably could have fought Ortiz off no problem."

"What happened to Pablo?" I asked, I had been wondering if he'd made it through my high kick.

"Karl's got him." She said bitterly. "He almost bled to death when you kicked him though that window but we thought that was too easy a death for him."

"Where are they?" I asked; it made me uncomfortable to know he was still out there.

"Don't worry, he's far away from here." She said. "We could probably keep him alive if you want to be the one to do him in."

"No." I said shaking my head and wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't want to kill anyone."

"Maybe you will when you remember everything." She said and stood. "I'm going to the Dairy Queen. Do you want a blizzard?"

"No." I said lightly.

She patted my shoulder and left. I couldn't get over the fact that I may have once had the desire to kill someone. The stories I heard about this man were awful but they were like watching the news. I didn't feel like it was happening to me so it didn't bother me in that way. Logan came into the room shortly after Katherine left. I still wasn't comfortable.

"Lucas wants to see you." He said, trying to hide the hope in his voice.

I nodded and followed him through the house to the kitchen. Jeremy was sitting at the table next to Paige, who looks worn and tired. My presence took it's toll on everyone I guess. They all had hopeful looks on their faces. I took a deep breath; this is it.

"Just stand still. We're going to try something." Lucas said calmly. He held his fingers toward me and said something under his breath.

I was pushed off balance by some kind of force. I felt Logan's hand on my back to steady me. Everyone looked at me. I looked back at Logan, into his blue eyes. The sadness was still there behind the hope. He was preparing himself for disappointment. He searched my eyes as well, looking for some difference. Nothing changed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"We'll keep trying." Paige said.

The house was near silent for the rest of the day except the joyful laughter of Paige's son as he played. Lucas slaved over books in the kitchen, picking up the phone every now and then to consort with his sorcerer family. They still hadn't found Jackson and his family claimed to know nothing about any spell that could take memories away. It was all going to be trial and error.

A week passed. Lucas decided not to make it a gathering when trying spells on me. If I remembered, I remembered. If not, we moved on. Logan was with me; silently hopeful but always ready for disappointment. It was wearing him down. We spent that day apart. I missed him. How could I miss him? I barely knew him.

It was on that particularly cold night that I wasn't able to sleep. I stayed up watching television while Logan slept on the floor next to the sofa bed. He stirred, making me look down at him. When he started mumbling I gave him my full attention. He breathed my name softly. I held my breath; I wanted to hear it again.

"Joslyn." He breathed again.

I got down on the floor next to him. He was still asleep. I reached my hand out to touch his face. My heart raced.

"Logan." I whispered.

He shifted and opened his eyes.

"Hey. What's wrong? Are you OK?" He said sleepily, sitting up.

I hesitated. "I thought I saw a spider on your face. It's gone."

"Oh." He stretched. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's alright." He said and laid back down on his pillow.

I cursed myself for not having the balls to do what I wanted to.

The next day Logan woke me up early. I didn't get enough sleep. He seemed excited about something. When I walked into the kitchen neither Lucas nor Paige approached me with another attempt to revive my memory.

"We're going up to the mountains." Logan told Lucas.

"Is that alright with Jeremy and your parents?" Paige asked.

"Fortunately I'm old enough to not have to ask." Logan said humored.

"I keep forgetting you guys aren't fifteen anymore." She smiled. "When are you going?"

"Whenever Joslyn is ready."

"I'm going?" I asked.

"Of course. We haven't really had a chance to get a good, fulfilling run in since we got here. I thought you might want to stretch your legs a little."

"Oh. Alright." I shrugged. "I should eat first."

"We'll grab something on the way." He smiled. "C'mon."

I looked at Paige and Lucas who looked at me with an equally confused expression. I shrugged and followed Logan out the door. The rental was waiting on the curbside. We sat in the car for nearly two hours. We talked, mostly about where we were headed. He said he'd found it on the internet and wanted to check it out; apparently the pictures were amazing and we'd be able to get places that humans couldn't. His enthusiasm was infectious. When we pulled into a dirt parking lot and parked. Logan practically jumped out of the truck.

"You're really psyched about this huh?" I asked him around the back of the truck.

"Definitely. I haven't been on a hike since… well since we first started dating." He said.

"We went on a hike together?" I asked smiling.

"Yeah. We camped out for a couple nights. You really liked it."

I wished I could remember it.

"Will you tell me about it?" I asked him.

He smiled. "Yeah."

He told me a story as we walked of swimming half naked under a waterfall and climbing a mountain to watch a beautiful sunset; being stalked by a wolf and leaving Logan fully surprised that I could keep pace with him. Every word he spoke was filled with love and want.

"Neither of us wanted to leave but you had an appointment to get x-rays done on your ribs the next day so…"

I sighed sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"I want to remember… so badly." I shook my head and sat on a rock. "When you talk about the things we've done; it makes me miss it but I don't know what it is I'm missing."

"We'll find a way to fix it." He said kneeling in front of me. "Everything will come back to you."

"The funny thing is… I _know_ I loved you. I can feel it when I look into your eyes." I said trying to contain myself; Logan looked hurt. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be sorry." A weak smiled twitched on his lips. "C'mon, let's head back."

"No. Please. I want to do this."

We didn't bring up the fact of my lost memory for the rest of the hike. Logan was a good climber but I didn't lag behind. He wasn't surprised.

The house was empty when we got back in the late afternoon. Logan called Jeremy to check in; he asked us to stay in for the night. We ordered in pizza and watched a movie. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open by eight o'clock. Before I could pass out I got up and took a long shower; the perfect day to wind down the day. When I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel Logan was still on the couch. I guessed him to be asleep so I didn't feel awkward walking over to get my clothes. Of course, he turned to me upon my approach.

"Oh. I thought you were asleep." I said and pointed to the pile of clothes next to the television. "I forgot my clothes."

"Oh. Well, here." He got up, grabbed to pile and walked toward me.

"Thanks." I said taking them from him. My hand slid against his. It gave me goose bumps. "Your hands are cold."

"Sorry." He said leaning toward me; the energy between us changed suddenly. I felt drawn to him. What just happened?

I let the breath out of my lungs and walked back into the bathroom. It took me some time to get myself together in the bathroom. When my head was clear I opened the door and almost walked straight into Logan.

"Oh. Was I taking too long? You could have knocked."

"No. I was actually coming to check if you were alright."

"Oh. I'm alright." I nodded. "Thanks."

We stood there for a few moments, the same energy between us, the same drawing feeling. I was the one to step back this time and walked past him.

"I know you can feel it." Logan said suddenly. "Joslyn. I love you."

I swallowed hard. "I know."

"You already said you know you loved me. What do I have to do Jos?"

"I don't know." I said looking back at him. "This is so… confusing. I don't know what to do."

"What do you feel?" He came close to me; our bodies were mere inches from each other. The question was so simple but so revealing.

I looked up into his eyes. His pain and agony seeped into me through them. I wanted to cry but more than that I wanted to…

I leaned into him and kissed him. He almost stumbled backward but caught himself and wrapped his arms around me. It was rushed and uncertain and it left my whole body buzzing; I didn't want to stop it. Our lips parted leaving both of us breathing heavily. I held my breath and looked up into his face. It was a whole new feeling; or it wasn't, actually. The warmth behind the surprise in his eyes made me want him more. He came to me more tentatively. This one was perfect. The anticipation made my heart race and when our lips finally touched, we both seemed to electrify. It was only seconds before we were wrapped in each other. He slid his hands over my body, cherishing every inch he touched. It felt so right, so meant to be. How could I not love this man?

We were snapped back into reality when the front door opened upstairs. Logan tore himself away from me and went to see who it was. I sank into the couch, head swimming. It was several minutes before Logan came back down the stairs. He stood in front of me looking grim.

"They want to give it another shot." He said quietly.

"Right now?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "But uh, unless we find Jackson… this is all they got."

"Oh." I felt suddenly deflated, all the buzz of earlier left me. A question popped into my head that hadn't before. "What if it doesn't work?"

He didn't want to answer that. I stood up and walked to the stairs. This was it; my last chance at remembering everything; remembering Logan. Paige and Lucas were standing in the kitchen looking hopeful.

"Stand still." Lucas said.

I nodded; closing my eyes this time. I anticipated the force that would push me back. It was stronger. I stumbled backward, hit the wall hard and fell on the floor.

"Joslyn?" Lucas' voice was distant but I could see him fine. "Are you alright?"

I tried to form words but my brain was all muddled. My vision went black and I felt myself hit the floor before I was overcome with the deafening nothingness.

My toes were warm. Then I felt my feet, legs, arms and the rest of my body. Everything was stiff. My mind was still blurry but through that fogginess I could see only one thing; Logan. The alertness started to catch up. I moved my fingers and toes and started to let the light flood my eyes. There was someone near me, I could hear deep breathing. When I moved my stiff neck I saw him sleeping in a chair peacefully. He was so beautiful; it was unreal.

"Joslyn." I heard my name spoken quietly from across the room. Jeremy stood in the doorway. I smiled at him.

"Hey." I said quietly. "What happened?"

"Lucas tried out a new spell. We've all been waiting to see the results."

I remembered back as far as I could but Logan only came into my mind after Ortiz had "helped" me out. I shook my head sadly. Before I could stop them, tears ran down my face and I sobbed quietly into my hands.

"I'm sorry Joslyn." Jeremy said coming to the bedside slowly.

"What's going to happen now? I asked him.

"That's up to you." He said. "You're well in control of your Changes, I doubt that you'll start attacking humans. If we find Jackson McCloud we'll get in contact with you immediately."

I looked at Logan still sleeping. It made me sad to think of leaving him.

"Or if you choose, you can stay with us."

"Really?" I looked at Jeremy quickly. "You'd let me?"

"You've already made your way into our hearts Joslyn. We won't turn you away for what's happened."

A stirring in the corner drew my attention away from Jeremy. Logan was waking. I looked back to where Jeremy stood but he was gone. It was time to face Logan and break the news to him. Even in his groggy waking I saw the hope in his eyes.

"Joslyn." He breathed. "How are you feeling?"

His real question was "what do you remember?" I tried to smile but when the tears started rolling down my cheeks again I saw his hope fade. He stood up and marched at the door. I heard the echoes of crushing drywall and tables being overturned. His anger burned through me and I cried to myself until exhaustion took hold and I fell into sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

***I'm trying to get these out quick to make up for all the lost time. Hope I still have readers. R/R!plz**

My vision was cloudy. I wasn't ready to wake up and face the world. The only thought in my head was of the look in Logan's eyes. The hope diminished and was replaced with anger. Would he even want to see me? It hurt me to think about it.

"As soon as Joslyn wakes we'll be on our way." Jeremy's voice carried down the hall. "I hope we didn't inconvenience you too badly."

"Of course not Jeremy." Paige said. "You're always welcome here."

"I only hope next time it will be for more pleasurable reasons."

"I'm sorry we couldn't do more." Lucas spoke now. "If I find anything new I'll let you know immediately."

"I know. Thank you." Jeremy said. "I think I'll go check her."

I sat up and turned in the bed so that I could see the door. Jeremy stepped in silently.

"How do you feel?" He wasn't surprised to see me awake.

"I'm fine." I said softly.

"We've started packing for the trip back to New York. Lucas's father is kind enough to let us utilize his private jet again. We should be back there tonight."

"Oh. OK." I said. "Where's Logan?"

"He left last night."

He left? I felt empty all of a sudden. I guess it's true; you don't know what you're missing until it's gone.

"When are we leaving?"

An hour later we were on a plane back to New York. I couldn't get there fast enough. Logan was there and I needed to see him. I needed to know what was going to happen to us. I didn't realize how wrapped up in him I was until he was gone. I thought of what I would say to him but my mind turned up blank.

I was ready for sleep when we arrived in New York. I couldn't wait to feel my soft pillow in my warm bed. I walked out of the airport with Jeremy while Elena and Clayton picked up our bags.

"You'll feel better when we're back at Stonehaven." Jeremy said, noticing my drained look.

"Stonehaven?" my brow furrowed. "I thought I was going home?"

"Whatever makes you more comfortable." Jeremy said.

"I want to go home."

"We'll drop you on the way to Bear Valley." Jeremy said. "Though I'm sure Logan won't be happy with me for letting you."

"What?"

"He's become more protective, as you can imagine."

"Then why did he leave?" I said with more venom than I wanted to let out.

Jeremy just smiled and turned back to his seat.

We landed in New York City. Antonio picked us up at the airport. Jeremy instructed him to first go to Syracuse, then Bear Valley. All I wanted was to feel my pillow beneath my head. It couldn't come soon enough.

Saying goodbye to them was harder than I thought, even though I knew I would be seeing them again. Elena hugged me, as did Jeremy and quite surprisingly Clayton. And as they drove down the street and around the corner I felt almost empty.

Walking up the familiar steps and pulling my key out to the familiar lock was comforting; finally something that I recognized. As soon as the door closed behind me I heard the running of footsteps down the stairs and Dara launched herself at me.

"Ohmygod. Joslyn! I can't believe it's you." She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly.

"Dara, it's good to see you again."

"You have to tell me everything! What's with the surprise backpacking across Europe thing? Do you have any pictures? Where's all your stuff?"

"Um…" I'd rehearsed this in my head, all the lies I had to tell her now. "Logan has everything. We kind of packed our stuff together so it all went home with him."

"So the trip was to make up for him dumping you? You should have at least given it a couple of days before saying yes. Y'know left him hanging a little."

I nodded. Logan dumped me?

"Are you OK? You seem kind of…"

"Tired." I said. "I'm really tired."

"Oh. Right. Everything's how you left it. I didn't do anything except vacuum." She shrugged and stepped from my path. "Go get some rest, we'll catch up in the morning."

I passed by her and headed upstairs. Everything was the same. Again, I was relieved at how comforting the familiarity of it all was. I knew just by smelling that Dara did more than just vacuum. She left traces of her scent throughout my room and well into my closet. I was too tired to care. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

The morning came too fast. I rolled over to get the sun out of my eyes and try to sleep more but the itching in my legs kept me up. I'd need to run soon. After a shower and quick breakfast I was running down on the street. I must have looked like a big dumb idiot with the wide grin on my face. Spring mornings were so beautiful here. And the new scents, well new to me, were electrifying. I didn't know the trees and flowers smelled so sweet. Around the college I smelled a mixture of books and pizza. I almost didn't want to stop when I approached my house again but when I saw a Jeep parked on the street in front I turned onto my walk and saw Logan sitting on the stoop.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, breathing heavily.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. Why didn't you come to Stonehaven last night?" He said standing.

"I needed to be home." I said. "I needed to be around something familiar."

He nodded. "Will you come back with me tonight?"

"Don't you think I should stay at my place for a few days at least? Don't you think you'd get sick of my face after trekking across Europe for so long?"

"Never." He answered.

"Well, I think I should stay here." I said.

What I didn't want to admit was that being home was the most normal I'd felt in a long time. There were no holes here.

"I'll stay with you." Logan offered.

"You don't have to."

"Joslyn, I'm going to stay in Syracuse whether it's in your house or parked in front of it. There are still mutts out there who would love to get their hands on you."

That made me uncomfortable.

"Look, how about we go out tonight? Someplace you've been before."

"Frank's bar?"

"Anywhere."

"Alright." I nodded. "Come by around seven."

"I'll be here." He said standing. He kissed me on the cheek and walked back to his car.

I tried to live normally but how could I do that? Nothing was normal anymore. I had to face that. The itching in my legs was got worse as the day progressed; I knew I couldn't ignore it much longer. I'd have to cut my date short with Logan if it came down to it. Date? Was this a date? We'd been together for almost a year if you accounted the missing memories; or this could be considered our first date. The doorbell rang at 6:59.

"Hi." I smiled, opening the door to let Logan in.

Dara came down the stairs.

"Dara this is Logan." I said introducing them.

"I know." She looked at me strangely. "How's it going Logan?"

"Very well Dara, thank you."

Oops.

"Are you ready to go?" Logan asked.

I nodded and followed him out the door. We climbed into his Jeep; I was bombarded with the scent of wet earth, making my legs itch all the more.

"Oh." I made a small exclamation.

"What's wrong?"

"The smell…" I said smiling a little.

He looked at me strangely.

"It smells so good. Like the forest."

Logan averted his eyes to the road, looking sad.

"Are you OK?" I asked him.

"You said something like that on our first date." He said starting the truck.

He drove to Frank's bar. It was busy, like every Friday night. I knew as soon as I walked into the bar Frank would stop whatever he was doing and tend to me. I loved him for loving me so much.

"Joslyn!" He practically threw the beer in his hand to the customer it was intended for. He hugged me over the bar. "Oh. I've missed you. Where have you been?"

"I went to Europe for a while." I said tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Wow. Europe?" He said then looked behind me. "This is Logan isn't it?"

"Yes." Logan said holding his hand out for a shake.

"Yeah." Frank said leaving him hanging. "You broke my girl's heart, she came in here every night practically in tears; then she disappeared."

"Frank." I said softly, he looked back to me. "Can you get us a beer?"

"Anything for you." He smiled.

I convinced him to pay attention to his other customers and Logan and I sat at the end of the bar.

"How long have you known Frank?" Logan asked.

"Since I started living here." I said. "He seems pretty pissed about you dumping me, I must have been a wreck."

"Yeah." He said looking into his drink. "So how about we go to Drew's old restaurant?"

"Drew?"

"Oh, right. You probably don't remember him."

"No, Drew… He's the one who did this." I said, the memories flooding back. "It was Drew. He gave me to Ortiz."

"What?" Logan was gaping at me.

"Oh my God. I remember." I said standing from the bar stool. "He _wanted_ his memory wiped."

"But Drew's dead. We never….found…him." Logan stood with me. "I have to call Jeremy."

Logan was frantic. He stumbled over his words when on the phone telling Jeremy what I remembered. But wasn't it just the same as looking for Jackson? There was no idea where to start since everyone assumed he was dead. And with no memory of anything what was to say it was any help at all? He wouldn't remember betraying me or his family; he'd have no idea who we are just like I didn't. But there was that one small memory that Jackson forgot to wipe, maybe he'd made the same mistake with Drew. We were back to having hope.


	27. Chapter 27

***R/R. Hope it meets your standards...**

Jeremy asked Logan and me not to interrupt our evening plans while they started the process of looking for Drew. I could tell Logan was itching to get involved. We ended up at my house; Logan pacing around the living room. I offered him a drink but he refused, though he really needed to calm down a little bit. After a half hour or so of wearing down my carpet, Logan resigned to sitting next to me on the couch.

"What do you miss most?" I asked him. "Y'know, about me."

"Well you're not different, Joslyn. Maybe a little more defensive now but you're the same girl I fell in love with."

I loved when he talked about me like that.

"Well, what's something that you miss doing with me?"

He blushed a little and I knew right away what he was missing.

"Oh." I said a little surprised. "I guess I can't blame you there."

"It's not the sex, though it is incredible; it's the connection. I loved kissing you and having your body against mine and looking into you eyes…" He trailed off.

I found myself wanting him to talk more about it, about us being together.

"Will you tell me about it?" I asked him.

He looked at me with surprise and a little embarrassment.

"You don't have to…" I said quickly, looking down at my hands. "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid." He said and paused a few moments. "I just don't know how to describe it."

That was all I needed. I smiled and stood up from the couch. Logan followed my movements and we stood in the silence for a moment.

"I should go to bed." I said looking at him.

"Yeah; me too."

I walked Logan to the door, a weak smile playing on my face. I already missed him. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and walked into the night. I started closing the door but Logan's fingers grabbed around the corner before I could close it and he pushed it open. Before I could register what was happening, his lips were crushed against mine. The heat reached all the way to my toes. I felt high when he finally released me and walked outside.

Logan drove us to Stonehaven the next day. Most of the ride was silent. My mind was working over what happened in the last few days.

"Where's Pablo?" I asked him suddenly.

"Why?"

"Shouldn't we try to talk to him?"

"You don't think we've tried?"

"Well, can I try?" I asked.

"I don't think it'll make a difference. We've tried almost everything to get him to talk; he won't say a word about Jackson."

"But we need to know about Drew."

Realization dawned on his face. Pablo might be more willing to give information about someone he wasn't partnered with. Logan drove like a bat out of hell to Bear Valley. When he barged through the front door and rushed into the basement, I followed quickly after not taking the time to explain everything to the Pack. Logan stood in front of an eight by twelve cell. Pablo was curled up on the cot.

A memory flashed through my mind; of being surrounded by the bars of the cage. It was brief but it was enough to scare the hell out of me. I stopped in my tracks on the last step. Logan looked at me when my approach stalled. I could feel the fear on my face.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked approaching me.

"I remember this."

"What?"

"I remember being here. I remember the cage."

He practically laughed. I did too. Could it be possible that my memory was piecing back together? I shook my head and walked toward the still shape of Pablo.

"Pablo, I want to talk to you." I demanded softly.

He didn't move at first but after a few moments he unfurled himself and rolled off the cot. He was weak and beaten. I almost felt bad for him then I remembered what he took from me. His green eyes met mine, pouring with hate.

"What do you want?" He asked roughly.

"Where is Drew?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do." I said calmly. "You might have enough dignity not to give Jackson to us but what did Drew do for you? Toss you money? And that's useless to you now."

He looked away from me.

"So maybe we can work something out; if you cooperate."

"The Pack doesn't negotiate."

"No? Then why are you still alive?"

"Get me out of here."

"Tell me where I can find him." I asked.

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me Pablo, I know you know something."

He seemed to think about it. What could there be to think about? The chance at freedom or death… where's the question?

"He told us he was headed east." Pablo spit out. "He didn't say where exactly. But he did mention something about Clayton and the Bayou. I wasn't really listening."

"He's in the Bayou?" Logan said mostly to himself.

"Thanks Pablo." I said with a smile and turned back to the stairs.

"Wait! You said you'd get me out."

"When we find Drew, then we'll talk about it. Just be glad that you're alive at this point." I said and walked up the stairs.

Everyone was in the kitchen, waiting.

"Drew's in Louisiana." I said confidently.

"What?" Elena said, stunned. "But he's…"

"I thought so too." Logan said coming up behind me and locking the basement door. "Joslyn remembered something. It seems Jackson skipped over a few of the memories pertaining to anything Pack, including the fact that it was Drew who sold her out."

"I don't believe it." Clayton said.

"It had something to do with a girl." I said. "It's patchy but I remember that."

"A girl from Louisiana…" Logan thought aloud. "He never mentioned anyone except a girl from Montana he met in his restaurant. But he hooked up with her and she went back as far as I know. He wasn't broken up about it."

"Well, we can't very well go down south and start sniffing around." Elena said. "We need something to go on."

"We have to find him; he might know something."

"Or he'll know nothing." Clayton was always so optimistic. "And we'll have wasted our time looking for a traitor. Then of course we'll have to kill him."

"Clayton." Elena reproached him then turned to me. "Do you remember anything else Joslyn?"

I tried searching for anything new that might have entered my brain in the last few minutes. When I looked into Logan's eyes again I saw the hope in them again. Seeing that in turn filled me with hope as well. I wanted to remember everything but I just seemed to be hitting a brick wall every time.

"I know it's there. I just can't get to it." I explained.

"We'll work on it." Jeremy said. "In the mean time, Elena I want you and Clayton in Louisiana."

"What about me?" Logan asked.

"You want Joslyn to be here by herself?" Clayton said.

"No but I want to be there when you find him."

"I think your time will be better spent here." Jeremy said.

Logan looked at me. I tried so smile but it never made it to my lips. Why did it hurt so much when he talked about leaving?

I spent that night in the guest room at Stonehaven. It was comfortable enough but I couldn't wait to be able to sleep in my own bed again. Laying in the darkness left me thinking of Logan and in turn dreaming of him. I woke up quite suddenly, the room still shrouded in darkness, breathing rapidly. I tried to recall the dream and only gathered that it had something to do with Logan, Mark and myself; and frighteningly, a gun. I couldn't get back to sleep after that so I wrapped a long button up shirt around myself and walked down to the kitchen, grabbed a snack then headed into the book-filled study. Jeremy mostly had informational texts, including a lot of medical. I vaguely wondered if he went to med school; he seems like he'd be a good doctor. I also noticed that on the walls hung several paintings. They were all so amazingly beautiful. In the corner they were signed "JD" and I thought that Jeremy must have painted them. I heard the floor creak behind me and turned quickly to see Logan standing in the door in his boxer briefs and a t-shirt.

"I got worried that you left; you weren't in your room."

"I woke up, couldn't get back to sleep."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I was just admiring these paintings. Did Jeremy do them?"

"Yes." Logan said looking at me strangely. "You used to follow his work. He was your favorite artist."

"He was?" I said with a furrowed brow. "I don't remember."

"Yeah, it was before I even met you. You were so excited when I told you he was my grandfather."

I felt sadness coming over me. Ortiz really had taken everything from me. I couldn't even remember my favorite artist. I fell into one of the leather couches and rubbed my hands over my face. Logan weighed down the cushion next to me.

"He really just took everything." I said looking sideways at him. "I mean... art is my life and I have no idea what my favorite painting is."

"You'll get it back. It'll just take time."

"What if it doesn't? What if I never remember?" I said. "I can't look into your eyes, Logan, without feeling guilty."

"It's not your fault."

"No? What if I didn't fight hard enough? Did I give up? I don't even know. I want to remember that I was willing to die for you because that's how I feel now." I confessed. "I can't think straight when I'm not with you and when you talk about leaving… it hurts me."

He wrapped his fingers around me hand. I slipped away from him, feeling slightly embarrassed that I'd dumped my emotions and thoughts. I felt tears welling in my eyes and willed them to stop but they didn't. They spilled over and rolled down my cheeks, making me all the more embarrassed. Logan walked up behind me and put his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to him. His chin fit perfectly on my shoulder and his arms fit perfectly around my body. I let all the air out of my lungs and inhaled his scent.

"Joslyn, I love you."

I wanted to say it. I wanted him to know that I felt the same but my reservations got the best of me. The logical part of my brain overtook my heart and told me it was impossible to be in love with him. I felt his lips on my neck and my whole body buzzed. He loosened his arms from around me and turned my body to face him, still embracing me. There was no pain in his eyes this time, only warmth and love. I couldn't look away. My breathing hitched up as his face came closer to mine; lips parted slightly, his hot breath spreading across my skin. I couldn't do anything besides close my eyes and accept his lips on mine. It was soft and slow. And when we parted I found myself wanting more; he dove into me again. Harder this time, rougher. Our mouths worked together in a passionate kiss that left me dizzy again. I let myself sink into it; I didn't even notice at first that we ended up on the couch. Logan held himself above me, still gently kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I wasn't thinking, only feeling. My mind was buzzing and my whole body on fire. Logan was everywhere, my mind, my body, my soul. When his kisses trailed down my neck I got my senses back but only slightly. I could feel the heat rising in my body and the rapidness of my breath when Logan undid the first button on my night clothes then kissed that spot, then the next and continued until I was bare under him. It wasn't enough, I found myself needing to feel him against me; just like he said. I pulled his shirt up above his head and kissed him more. There was no turning back now.

I woke up in the guest bedroom. I wonder if maybe it had all been a very real-feeling, vivid dream; that the previous night didn't happen. When I turned and saw Logan breathing deeply in sleep next to me I knew it was all real and a smile spread across my face. I watched him for a while, letting my mind drift into itself, getting lost in his beautiful face. He was like a fantasy come to life, even when he was sleeping. I stroked his face and he opened his eyes, smiling to.

It wasn't weird, like I'd thought it might be. That morning after with someone you don't really know. It was when I was sitting at the breakfast table, Logan making me breakfast that I realized that I _did_ know Logan; we weren't strangers anymore. These past several weeks were the most amazing and heartbreaking days of my life and I couldn't deny it anymore. I was in love with Logan Danvers and I wanted him to know. I stood up from the table and walked around the kitchen island to the stove where he stood. I pulled him away from the heat and kissed him deeply. He put his arms around me and pressed his body against mine. When I pulled my lips from his I looked into his eyes, almost tearing.

"I love you." I said, feeling an enormous relief.

He kissed me again. It was right in the middle of it all that my widened as it came back to me, his Christmas present; a fantasy. I pulled myself off of him. Logan looked confused as I was practically in tears. The whole day came back to me all at once. The day after Christmas, we were in his apartment, he gave me a wolf pendant necklace and I gave him a fantasy. Anything he wanted me to do I would do it. I "wrapped" it in a red box and gold ribbon.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked when he saw there was no one trying to take me away from him.

"Christmas." I said quickly. "I remember your Christmas present. I got you a fantasy and you got me a wolf necklace."

"Oh, Joslyn." He said pulling me into him again.


	28. Chapter 28

"Lucas can't explain it." Jeremy said after he'd called the sorcerer. "It seems to me that you're breaking down that wall that seems to be blocking all these memories from your conscious mind."

I looked at Logan and smiled. I wanted to be closer to him but resisted the urge.

"This is thrilling to know. What was it that sparked the memory?"

"Uh… it just flooded into my mind. I don't know that it was something in particular that triggered it." I said, hiding my embarrassment with a small laugh.

"Let's hope you have moments like that more often." Katie said looking at me knowingly. How did she know everything?

"Elena and Clayton will be glad to hear we have good news on this end."

"Have they found anything?" Logan asked.

"No, nothing. They haven't picked up any scents in the airports so far. They started fresh this morning; I expect they'll be calling later this afternoon if there is any news."

"I would like to speak to them."

"Certainly." Jeremy nodded once. "In the mean time, I sense that it's about time for you to be Changing, Joslyn."

"Oh." I said a bit surprised but not at the same time that Jeremy could sense something like that. "Um…"

"We'll run after lunch." Logan said, looking at me.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Katie will be taking me into town for a few hours." Jeremy said. "I'll remember to leave the door unlocked."

We walked into the woods at 12:30. Logan stripped in front of me, making me drift into my own world of fantasy. When he walked into the woods, not noticing that I hadn't moved an inch, I snapped back to reality and began undressing myself. He was Changed before I had my pants off. He waited in the brush while I took three times as long to Change and when I finally came out I couldn't see him but I could smell him. I sniffed at the air and was tackled to the ground, Logan on top of me. He was playing. It was apparent in the grin he had on his face. I nipped at his hind leg and he jumped off of me jetting into the woods. It was to be a game of tag then I guess. Following after his scent, I caught up with him fairly quickly. I snapped at his back legs and he weaved in and out of the trees in an attempt to allude me. It was fun. When I did finally tackle him (I think he may have been holding back a little bit) I could see mischief and happiness in his eyes. This time it was my turn to run from him. Of course, it only took fifteen seconds for him to have me pinned to the ground again. When he jumped off of me, not sprinting into the woods this time, his ears perked up and he sniffed the air. I mimicked and smelled something too; a human. Logan's whole demeanor changed. Instead of being playful he turned serious and dark with concern. Logan swept his head to motion for me to run the other way. Why? So he can have all the fun? But the look in his eye made me obey him and I trotted off back toward the deeper part of the woods to wait.

I paced, circled, jumped up and down; anything to pass the time. Humans being in the woods usually meant hunting and hunting meant guns. I began to worry. If Logan didn't show up or call me back or give me some sort of sign soon I was going back to see what was going on. I waited another fifteen minutes then began my trek back to where I last saw Logan. His scent was still there but only just lingering. I followed the trail for a mile until I saw his tail sweeping in front of me. He was lying under a bush. I inched silently toward him. He didn't seem at all surprised when I came up at his side. Then I saw what he was looking at. A boy and his father playing hide and seek in a meadow. Logan had a sweet look in his eyes. We stayed there silently watching the humans pass their day until the sun began to set and the father pulled the son into his nearby car and drove from the meadow. Logan didn't move for a few moments until I sneezed and he snapped out of whatever trance he'd been in. Then he led the way back to our Changing spots.

I came into the clearing still pulling on my shirt. Logan was already dressed and waiting for me.

"What was that all about?" I asked him.

"What?"

"Those people; why did you have to watch them?"

"Well, I couldn't just leave them there. I had to make sure they stayed out of the woods." He explained. "This is private property and humans rarely comply with boundaries."

"They were just having a picnic, Logan." I smiled. "Lighten up."

"We can't lighten up Joslyn. No one can slip through the cracks. If they came into the woods while we were Changing we would have…" He sighed heavily.

We would have had to kill them.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not like I enjoy killing people. Especially innocent people."

"I know." I nodded. "I wasn't thinking."

He looked at me for a few moments and strode toward the house. I stood in the shade of the trees a bit longer. Maybe Logan and I needed some time away from each other; or Logan needed time away from me. I didn't want to play the needy girlfriend, if that's what I was, so I kept my distance for the next few hours.

Jeremy and Kat came back while I was sitting in the study, reading. Kat came in weighed down with shopping bags full of what I could only assume to be more clothes for her wardrobe. But when she stood in front of me with a wide grin on her face I knew something else was up.

"Hey." I said looking up from the book in my hand.

"Come upstairs." She smiled.

"Why?" I asked skeptically.

"I got something for you while we were out. I want you to try it on."

"Kat, you really didn't--."

"Well, I did so move your ass."

The girl in my got all giddy and I followed after her. She practically giggled when I came into her room after her and she closed the door.

"Where's my brother?" She asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged uncomfortably and sat on her window seat. "I haven't seen him since after we ran."

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?" She asked, plopping down on her bed.

"I wouldn't exactly call it paradise." I said. "I don't even know what we are…"

"Well, you told him you love him."

I looked at her quickly with shock.

"It's a twin thing… we tell each other everything." She shrugged, wearing a smile. "Logan never stopped loving you. You don't know what it did to him when you went missing… both times."

"Both?"

"The first time you were kidnapped and bitten. Logan went crazy. He actually broke up with you to try to protect you but… I told him it wouldn't work and that he should just keep you close but he was already convinced. My dad can be very persuasive."

"Clayton told him to dump me?" that brought up some other issues. "It doesn't even matter. I don't remember it."

"But you will." She assured me. "And when you do you should kick his ass and my dad's. They both deserve it."

"I don't think that'll be happening any time soon." I smiled.

"Oh! I almost forgot." She rummaged through a bag and pulled out a spring dress the color of a bright red tulip. "Don't you love it?"

"Kat…" I didn't know what to say. "You didn't have to buy me anything… I have enough here--."

"Actually, I did have to buy you something." She smiled. "We have a meeting to go to and seeing as you're now part of the Pack, you have to dress the part too."

"A meeting? What kind of meeting?"

"Pack." She repeated. "I got two more the same style, different colors."

She went on but I stopped listening. I heard footfalls in the hallway and zeroed in on them, trying to match the sound to the ones I was familiar with. It didn't sound familiar at all.

"Kat!" a voice boomed and a loud pounding reverbed through the door. "Come out here please?"

"Who is that?" I asked quietly.

"Uncle Nick." Kat rolled her eyes. "What do you want?!"

"I need to talk to Joslyn."

That was surprising. I stood up and walked to the door, swinging it open. He was leaning against the door frame with a crooked smile on his face.

"Hey, Jos."

"Hi, Nick. What's up?"

"Come take a walk with me." He started back down the hall.

I looked back at Kat who shrugged, and then I followed him outside. He led me halfway down the driveway before saying anything.

"I want to talk to you about my son."

"Your son?"

"Drew."

Oh. "What about him?"

"I just… I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around him wanting _out_." He stopped walking and turned to me. "What did he say exactly?"

"I don't remember." I said slowly.

"How can you even be sure it _was_ him if you can't remember anything?"

His tone was accusing. I guess I couldn't blame him. If it were my own son betraying me and my entire family I would be searching for some evidence that it wasn't true. I felt bad for him.

"I can remember Drew talking about it…"

"Well I don't believe it." He spat out. "My son would never betray his family."

He started walking back toward the house. I didn't follow after him. His confrontation got me thinking. Who else in the pack doesn't believe me? Should I even believe myself? A sudden feeling of doubt poured over me. How reliable was anything that I said?

"Joslyn?" I heard Logan call from the front door.

I pretended like I didn't hear and continued down the driveway. Soon his footsteps followed close behind me.

"What's wrong?" He asked coming up on my left.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Nick looked kind of pissed after he came in, is everything alright?"

"It's fine. He was just asking about Drew."

"Yeah… he's taking that pretty hard. It was surprising to say the least."

"Do you believe me?" I asked after a few moments of contemplating whether or not to ask.

"You _do_ remember it don't you?"

I nodded.

"Then of course I believe you. You have no reason to lie."

"I'm not talking about lying. I'm talking about reliability. How can I be sure that it actually _was_ Drew? My memory still isn't fully recovered; maybe I'm getting mixed up."

"What did Nick say to you?"

"It makes sense Logan. I might be wrong. Maybe you're looking for the wrong person again."

"You're memory of it is fine. Ortiz confirmed it; he said Drew wanted it."

"But he might just be playing along, what if something bad happened to Drew and Ortiz doesn't want to take the blame?"

"A mutt who doesn't want to take the blame for the death of a pack member has to be pretty stupid. It's like a badge of honor to kill pack."

"Well, maybe he has hidden morals."

"Joslyn, you remember it perfectly. There's no reason why we should doubt you." He said. "C'mon inside."

"No. I want to go home." I said quickly.

"What?"

"I just need some time to think about things. Maybe it'll help me remember."

"Yeah, whatever you want. I'll take you home now."

"Can I drive myself?" I asked. "If you don't want me to take the Jeep I'll ask Kat if I can borrow her car."

"No, take the Jeep." He said. "Just call me when you get to Syracuse, OK?"

I nodded, took the keys from Logan and walked past him.

"Joslyn?" He called back to me, I stopped but didn't turn to him. "If you need me, all you have to do is call."

I nodded again and continued on, tearing down the driveway and hitting the pavement so fast the tires squealed.

I wasn't any more comfortable at home in Syracuse. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, unable to shut my mind off. At three in the morning I gave up and got dressed for a run. Aside from the occasional drunk and staggering college student, I didn't see anyone on the streets. I decided it was safe to take a real run and headed for the park.


	29. Chapter 29

***Sorry this is taking so long. It's almost done I think. Hope you're still reading and still enjoying. R/R!**

Logan called me early the next morning saying he had news; though he wouldn't disclose anything. He insisted that we speak face to face. So I headed back to Stonehaven. Dara still had a lot of questions for me. She seemed to notice the tense relationship Logan and I now had. It made me wonder what we were like before.

"What's up?" I asked Logan; he was waiting outside the house for me and approached the car as I exited it.

"Come inside."

I was curious. Maybe Ortiz had remember something else or became so fed up with being the Cage that he decided he'd finally give us some useful information. As we walked down the stairs I saw Nick sitting in a chair outside the bars, looking in. And when I reached the bottom step I looked into the Cage. Ortiz was gone and replaced by a handsome, dark haired young man probably a little younger than Logan, though he looked stressed and run-ragged.

"Drew." I breathed.

"Joslyn." He said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"You remember?" I asked him.

He nodded. "I guess Jackson's spell wasn't permanent. I was with Amelia when it all came rushing back. Everything. Everything I did to you and my family."

"Why do you have him locked up?" I asked Logan

"He betrayed the Pack." Nick said bitterly from the chair. "Jeremy is gonna have a tough time with this one."

"What?"

"Jos, don't you get it? It came back to him. You're going to remember everything."

"But you're not going to… kill him are you?" I asked, ignoring Logan's excitement.

Logan looked at Drew with dark eyes. I could see rage in them, hate. Drew had taken everything from Logan and nearly flushed it away.

"Jeremy will decide what happens to him." He seemed to have some distaste to that.

"Joslyn. Please. Talk to him. Tell Jeremy that I didn't mean to do it; tell him how desperate I was." Drew begged through the bars. "You have to make them understand, they'll kill me!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Nick flew at him and Drew receded back to the cot quickly.

Logan led me back up the stairs, closing the door behind. I stopped in the kitchen, shell-shocked.

"Logan, he can't. Drew is your cousin. He's a part of your family."

"Pack comes before everything."

"Everything?" I asked meaningfully, looking into his eyes. "Do you forget how I used to be?"

He sighed, looking down at me. "He took you away from me Joslyn… he deserves what he gets."

"You can't kill him." I said shaking my head. "It's not right."

"How can you forgive him so easily?"

"Unlike you, I don't remember what I'm missing…"

"But you will, Joslyn! His memory all came back, he remembers everything. So you'll remember everything."

"You don't know that." I said, trying not to get my hopes up. "Jackson could have made a mistake with Drew's memory. You don't know if anything will come back to me."

"It already has! Joslyn, this is how it happened for Drew… he started to remember a little bit at a time; just flashes of memories then he woke up and… it was all there again. You could wake up tomorrow like nothing ever happened."

"Or I could still just remember _nothing_!" I wanted to storm through the house and leave but something kept me glued to the spot I stood. "I won't wake up like nothing ever happened. You have to realize that."

He shook his head. "Why have you lost all hope?"

I sighed. I couldn't answer that question.

"I don't want to be the only one in this relationship whose trying to salvage what we once had."

"I can't salvage anything! " I said. "Logan, where have you been? As far as I'm concerned we never had a relationship."

The look on his face told me he was hurt by that. I immediately regretted saying it.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to be disappointed again."

"I know." He said sadly. "C'mon, Jeremy wants to speak with you as well."

I felt my stomach drop. What would Jeremy want to talk to be about? Well, obviously Drew. Logan led me to the study where Jeremy sat behind his desk reading the newspaper. He looked up as we approached.

"Joslyn." He smiled slightly. "Have a seat."

"Yes, sir." I said and sat down on one of the leather couches.

"Logan, would you excuse us for a few minutes?" Jeremy asked him and Logan bowed out.

"Logan said you wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. You must already know that we've apprehended Drew."

"Yeah. Logan brought me down." I nodded, looking down at my hands.

"I asked him to."

That was shocking. Jeremy was more the type to break that kind of news to someone slowly.

"I'm having some difficulty coming to a decision about Drew."

"Logan said you'll kill him."

"That's the difficulty I'm having."

"Don't." I said looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow. "He apologized to me. I know he meant it. I mean, I'm not saying it should go unpunished. Logan won't let him get away with it but I just don't think its right to just… end him."

"What do you suggest?"

"I don't know." I said looking back down. "It just doesn't seem fare."

"If it was a mutt we would eliminate him."

"He's not a mutt."

"Correct."

"So you don't know what to do either."

"Joslyn, I can't help but ask your opinion on this because you're the one who was most affected by Drew's actions. Any punishment that you see fitting is the one I'll consider putting into action."

"I'm not an Alpha. I don't know what kind of punishment would best suit someone who betrayed his pack and family. I mean, do you whip people? Do you shackle them to the walls? I can't decide on someone's fate like that."

"He decided yours." I turned to see Logan standing against the door frame. "That wasn't very fair."

"Logan." Jeremy stared at him.

"No, I won't just let you set him free. You know if you don't kill him, I will."

"It isn't your decision to make." Jeremy said. "I'm leaving it up to Joslyn. If she sees the sincerity in his words I'm not going to doubt her. I agree with her in that Drew seems genuinely regretful of the actions he took."

"Jeremy, he almost got her killed. Who's to say that he didn't have anything to do with this from the beginning? We don't know that he didn't give Ortiz the information he needed to get to her in the first place. What if he's been in this from the beginning?"

"Then he's a very good actor." I said. "I don't believe that he was involved in my first kidnapping."

"But you don't know for sure."

I shrugged. "I guess, we'll never know."

"Joslyn you don't know what you're doing. If we just let him go he'll tell the other mutts that he got off without a hitch. They'll be coming in swarms after you." Logan said. "It's fear that's keeping them away. What stops them when there's nothing to fear?"

"I do think _something_ needs to be done to him." I said defensively. "But I think killing him is too severe a punishment; I mean, I _am_ alive."

"I can't believe you're taking this so lightly."

"You're forgetting one thing, Logan. Drew isn't a werewolf anymore."

"Yes he is." Logan practically laughed.

"No. He said they were going to make him human again."

Both Logan and Jeremy stood in stunned silence. I thought they knew this already but apparently Drew neglected to inform them.

"But he still smells like…" Logan started. "It's faded. It's barely there."

"I thought you knew." I said.

"No, we didn't." Jeremy said. "This changes things completely."

"But it could just wear off right?" Logan asked. "Just like the memory spell didn't last, this one might not either."

"I don't know." I said as the memory flooded my mind. "I remember him talking about it… the sorcerer paralyzed me with a spell and he tried to explain himself. He did it for a girl, so he could marry her."

"A girl?"

"I threw it back in his face. I told him that I was _that_ _girl_ for you. He had no right giving me up to them." I felt the anger bubbling inside me.

Jeremy looked at me curiously. I felt a pang of adrenaline… I was remembering. It wasn't so much of a rush of memory this time as it was simply recalling one. I found it strangely odd.

"Did he say anything else?" Logan asked, apparently taking no notice of the exchange Jeremy and I just had.

I shook my head.

"I think Joslyn should go back home." Jeremy spoke.

My eyes went wide. What was he sending me away for?

"Why?" Logan asked what I couldn't seem to.

"I should." I said looking at Jeremy. I think I knew why he was sending my away now, by the sad look in his eye. "I was going to try and get my job back today."

Logan looked deflated. "OK. I'll drive you back."

The ride was silent nearly the whole way. Logan did spurt a few profanities at a jerk who cut us off, but that was it. When he pulled the car in front of me house we sat for a few more moments in silence before Logan said something.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"You don't have to. I know you want to get back, watch Drew for Nick."

"Drew isn't going anywhere." Logan shook his head. "He's human now."

"But for how long? You don't know if it's permanent yet."

He only shrugged. I started to open the car door but he stopped me. He wasn't looking at me directly but over my shoulder. When I looked around I saw the door was open slightly. The only other time this had happened was when I was first kidnapped. Again, a rush of adrenaline surged through me. I had to push that from my head; Dara could still be in there. I sniffed the air coming out of the door. Dara's mixed with another, a man wearing bad cologne; possibly to cover up his true scent. My ears perked up when I heard the stairs creak but as I made to rush in, Logan grabbed me again. He gave me a stern look and pulled me behind him. I was about ready to hit him but pushed the urge away, my only concern was for Dara at this point. Logan pushed the door open, it hit the wall with a bang and there standing in shock and half naked was Dara and her man friend sneaking back up the stairs with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Dara… you left the door open."

"Sorry." She almost giggled, hiding behind her guest.

Logan excused himself from this awkward situation and headed back outside. I didn't know what to do or say.

"Uh… I didn't mean to barge in… I thought someone might have broken in or…" Dara looked at me with raised eyebrows, this really wasn't the type of area to be worried about early evening break-ins. "I'm sorry."

Logan was sitting in his truck. As I approached, he got out again and came around to me.

"So, I probably won't be around for a few days." He said quickly. "We need to figure out what we're doing with Drew."

"Right." I said looking downward. "Give me a call or something."

I went up to my bedroom without really saying goodbye. If I was going to test this out now was the time; while I was alone and had no one to disappoint but myself. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift into itself. I brought back my first memory of Logan…

_I burst out the door of a run-down apartment building. _No_._ That wasn't the first time. The first time was at a restaurant. It came back slowly. Every second slowly unfolded in my mind; Mark's approach, my nervousness, Logan. His eyes, his mischievous smile, his cool voice.

I opened my eyes, tears spilling over. It was all there. I felt everything all over again. The flutter in the pit of my stomach the first time I kissed him, the embarrassment of when his sister walked in on us at his apartment, the sound of his panicked voice when I was bitten, the camping trip, the flight to Alaska. Everything.

I grabbed my cell phone off the dresser and called Logan. I my haste I didn't realize I was basically speechless. When his voice carried over the line I couldn't find the words to say. I blabbered for a moment then held my breath to calm myself. But Logan panicked. He hung up the phone saying he was coming for me. I was so overjoyed that I had to scream into a pillow and when Logan burst through the door I flung my arms around him and pressed my lips to his. This man, the man I fell in love with twice, was the single most important thing in the world.

When I pulled my self away from him he looked into my eyes searching for some glimmer of why I was throwing myself at him. I smiled and kissed him again and when he looked at me again he knew. He swung my around the room in his own happiness.


End file.
